Achromatic Adventure

Foolish

I laid in bed for what felt like years hoping that my phone would make some sort of noise or vibrate. I couldn't take the thought that I was really in this by myself, that I was stuck to feel all of these feelings and somehow throw them away or push them down so that I can continue living and going to a school where the man that I was in love with was a professor. I fought with my inner voice, telling myself that there was no reason to constantly check my phone. it truly felt like I had two demons on my shoulders, a part of me felt like I should show more self-respect and the other half of me was a scared, shaking little loving lost puppy.

"What if I accidentally put my phone in airplane mode?"

I would check it again, nothing.

"Did i just feel it vibrate for a second? Maybe my phone is broken."

Nothing.

I felt so lost, my body felt tethered to my bed, just the thought of getting up to brush my teeth or even grab something to eat for dinner felt like I would be running a marathon.

a soft knock at the door jolted me slightly and pulled me out of my own head for a moment.

"Lil, can I come in?"

Without waiting for a response, Seren slipped inside, her soft green hair bouncing with each step. She took one look at my face, a splash of worry and confusion washed over hers in response. She immediately crossed the room to sit beside me.

"What did he say?" Seren asked, her voice low, as if too much sound would make my brain shatter into a thousand pieces, and honestly, it felt like it might have.

I shook my head, swallowing back tears that threatened to spill. "He said we're done. It's just... over. Like everything meant nothing."

Seren's eyes flashed with anger, but she kept her voice calm. "He's an idiot if he doesn't see what he's losing. You deserve way more than someone who doesn't appreciate you."

I let out a weak laugh, the sound hollow. "It still hurts though."

"Not as much as we could hurt him, i'm pretty sure." Seren giggled back, smooth and reassuring as always.

I smiled softly as the tears began to flow.

Seren wrapped her arms around me. pulling my lifeless body close to hers. "Of course it hurts, babe. But you're stronger than this, stronger than him."

For a moment, we sat in silence, I rested my head on Seren's shoulder, letting the warmth and comfort of her fill the aching void.

A soft chime broke the quiet, and I glanced at my phone, grabbing it as quickly as i could which almost caused it to bounce off the bed and hit the floor. A message from Xaun.

"Heard what happened. Can I come over?"

I bit my lip. Xaun. my heart skipped at the thought, just like it used to before I'd pushed my feelings for him deep down. There had been a time when I'd imagined things with him, never anything like what I felt with Turstin but they happened, the thoughts happened for sure. He was steady, unreliable, unattached and after everything that had happened, maybe that was what I needed.

Seren noticed the look on my face. "Xaun?"

I nodded. "He wants to come over."

Seren smiled knowingly. "You should let him. He's good at making things better even if its just for right now. You need people, Lil."

""Just for right now"" I mocked. "You just had to make sure you reminded me, huh?"

"Limerence is a powerful thing, my sweet." Seren giggled, sauntering over to my door and slipping back out before closing it gently.