Ascendance

✧˖*°･☆ *☽ 𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 13: Stars Who Drew Stars Upon Each Other's Scars •*¨*•.¸¸☆*･ﾟ

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Esther let the tears fall onto her pillow as the soft cushion she lay on absorbed all of the pain she was feeling.
         She knew why Leigh had done what he did. It wasn't his fault. Anyone would have done what he did if they were in his place. So why? Why did it still hurt so much? Why was it hurting so bad? Esther was afraid. She was afraid of losing Leigh to Achernar. If Esther lost her best friend and couldn't save him, she didn't know what she would do. This was all getting too much now. She felt like she couldn't breathe. Esther just wanted the pain to stop. Maybe it was better if the world ended. There was nothing she could do to stop Achernar.
            Esther started taking off her bedsheets and pillowcases to change them. She got clean ones from her closet and changed her bed adding new sheets and cases. Then, she threw the old ones in a heap on the floor. Her laundry machines were downstairs and Esther just couldn't bring herself to face everyone right now. It hurt to force a smile at this very moment. With a sigh she looked in her mirror. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying. Eyelids ruined. She looked like a whole mess and the frizz on her hair wasn't helping. Esther just wanted to cry more at the horrible sigh of herself. Why? Why, oh why did today have to be such a bad day? She couldn't expect it. She never saw it coming. Everything was fine before all of this happened. Why did it have to be Leigh of all people?
            Even though she already took three showers, Esther felt like she needed another one to wash and drown all her sorrows away. It hurt to think and her mind wouldn't shut up. Esther's mind was her greatest enemy, always being her biggest bully, her harshest critic, reminding her of things she didn't want to think about, and dragging her down with the meanest of words. Her mind was uncontrollable and didn't have an off switch. It just kept going and going. She went through her wardrobe and took out a comfortable pair of clothes. Esther chose a light blue knitted sweater, a gray cardigan, and dark plaid pajama pants. She removed her fake earrings. Before opening the door to her bedroom, Esther stood there and listened. She couldn't hear anything. Maybe her archangel and seven deadly sins friends were all asleep by now. It was around 11 pm already. Esther was so tired and just wanted to sleep forever so she wouldn't have to think about what happened or what was going to happen. Despite her exhaustion, she knew that she wouldn't be able to sleep no matter how much she wanted to even if she tried. Her mind would keep her awake and whisper things to her. She'd probably end up crying herself to sleep which she hasn't done in a long time. Sleep wouldn't take away how she felt. She'd end up having dreams about it. She couldn't escape. Lithium.
             Esther opened her door and saw Orion standing there. He looked like he was just about to knock and come in, looking as if he's been standing there for a while. His eyes widened and Esther looked away from him. She didn't want the fallen star to see her like this. "Esther... Are you alright?" Esther nodded, trying her best to sound as cheerful and upbeat as she could. "Of course. I need to go to the bathroom though. What's up?" Orion took notice of how she wasn't looking at him. "Hey. Look at me." He spoke softly to her and his eyes showed concern with shades of violets and pinks. "It's alright Orion. I'm just tired. I won't take long, but I really need to use the bathroom." Esther lied through her teeth right to his face. He could read and see it in her eyes though. Orion could tell that she was lying, but he didn't say anything. He let her pass by to go in the bathroom.
             As she closed and locked the door, Esther could feel tears welling up in her eyes again. She hated herself for feeling this way and for being so weak. Leigh did what he had to do. It wasn't his fault. Esther was scared of losing him. Achernar could hurt or manipulate him into doing things. Leigh was the best person she knew and he was anything but evil. If Achernar turned him evil like him... She didn't want to think about it. Esther took a quick shower, dressed into her fresh clothes, brushed her teeth, and washed her face. Her eyes were still swollen no matter how much cold water she splashed on them. She wanted to punch her reflection in the mirror. Esther hated crying. Her face was puffy and her eyes looked bad. She slapped her face to try and make the swelling go down. Esther put strips on her eyes to alter their shape to be rounder and less swollen. Even though they always came off when she was sleeping, she didn't care. She couldn't stand the sight of herself looking so horrible.
               Taking a deep breath, Esther put on some hydrating lip ointment on her chapped lips from all the crying and dehydration, opening the door to come out of her bathroom. She spent a long time there. As she walked into her bedroom, Esther was surprised by Orion standing there. Was he waiting for her all this time? "Orion what's wrong?" She checked the clock which read 12 am now. The fallen star waited a whole hour for her, looking worn out from exhaustion. "Aren't you tired? You should be resting." Esther sat on her bed and gestured for him to come sit down too. Orion hesitantly came over and took a seat next to her. "I just... I didn't want to leave you alone. I wanted to be here for you."
                 Esther wasn't able to look at him. She wasn't used to someone as perfect as him being so nice to her. "Thank you Orion, I appreciate it. You don't have to though. Please don't force yourself. I'm sorry if I made you feel like you have to be there for me. You don't. Don't feel obligated to do that. You should... Get some rest. You deserve it after everything we've been through." Orion had his head hung down as he looked at her. His dark raven hair fell across his eyes and she couldn't tell what the expression he had on his face meant. Esther felt annoying. She didn't want to be so much of a bother to Orion. He must be tired and annoyed of her by now. Who wouldn't be sick of her?
              "Don't say that Esther. Don't. I want to be there for you. After everything we've been through and all that you've done for us, at least let me be here for you. You're not alone. You don't have to shoulder how you feel all on your own. I'm here. I know you're hurting, but I won't let you be hurt by yourself. Let me take some of your pain."
               Esther closed her eyes as she put her hands over them. Orion's words were making her cry. She just kept crying so much and was too emotional after what happened with Leigh. Esther felt completely pathetic. She was doing so fine before all this while not having any breakdowns. Fooling herself into thinking everything was fine. That she was fine when she wasn't. This beautifully perfect angel by her side was telling her things that no one has ever said to her before. It felt too good to be true. She faked a laugh, forcing it out of herself. "Orion, you are just as sweet as your brother!" Esther felt him wrap his arms around her. "You don't have to fake it or pretend. You can let it all out. It's just me here. I'll never judge you." Orion pulled her hands away from Esther's eyes. "You don't need these." He took away the strips that she had just put on her eyes. "There. That's much better." Orion smiled at her and he just looked so beautiful that it hurt. He was being too kind and pure. Esther didn't deserve it.
               She looked away from Orion, but he put a hand under her chin to make her look at him. "Look at me. You don't need to do anything. You're good enough just as you are like this." The tears spilled from her eyes before she could even stop them. He wiped them away. "You are perfect just the way that you are. Don't change a thing." Orion hugged her and she couldn't help but put her arms back around him. "You're just saying that... I mean look at me. Crying like a pathetic weakling over nothing. I wish I could get plastic surgery."
              Orion held Esther by the shoulders with a frown on his face as he looked her in the eyes. "I'm looking at you Esther and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You're not weak. You are so strong. Ever since I met you, you've been fearless. If it were anyone else, they wouldn't have lasted as long as you. There's no one like you. I've been alive for...a long time. I have never come across someone like you. We can't always be strong all the time but that doesn't make us weak. You're not pathetic at all. How you feel isn't over nothing. It's something. You are right for feeling the way that you do. What you feel is valid. Your feelings are important to me. I don't know why but I care about you. I don't want to see you hurt since it hurts me for some odd reason. Don't try to keep your pain all inside by yourself. And don't ever do that. Please never change yourself. You were born perfectly just the way God made you to be. I don't want you to feel this way about yourself because I wish you saw yourself in the way that I see you. If I could give you my eyes, and let you take a look through my perspective at yourself, you would know that you deserve so much more. It's not easy to love yourself, but you shouldn't be this harsh on yourself. I'll make you see yourself the way that I see you."
               Esther thought she had fallen asleep and was dreaming. Tears just kept spilling out of her eyes and Orion wiped them away. He held Esther in his arms, whispering to her that it's okay. "Do you have to make me cry?" She sniffled and playfully hit him, trying to stop herself from crying. It felt like all she did was break down. Orion's words drew stars on the scars of her heart, mind, and soul. Esther felt like she was bleeding out for him. He was too precious. She didn't know how precious she was to him.
                Orion laughed softly and ran his fingers through her hair. "I only said the truth of how I feel. Even if I can lie as a fallen angel, I'm not lying Esther. I don't think I could ever lie when it comes to you." His obsidian eyes swirled with a mixture of emotions. They were amethyst, green, gold, and blue like the sky at different times of the days passing by. "Thank you." Esther whispered to him and he put his hand on her head as an embrace. "I really don't deserve you. You're beautiful inside and out."
                "You're talking about yourself Esther. I'm the one who doesn't deserve you. You are the one who is beautiful in every way. I wish you could see yourself the way that I do. I was always angry before I met you. I think you can see that I'm a little less angry now. I have you to thank for that even if it was just days ago. I'm tired but never of you. I feel better already just being with you. My energy isn't depleting anymore, it's like you raise me up when I'm down. I want to do the same for you. I..."
                  Esther traced invisible stars across the palms of Orion's hands. "If only you could see yourself the way that I see you, Orion." The fallen star held her hands in his, something he had never done before. She was drawing stars on a star's scars. He was a star who drew stars on her scars. They were stars who drew stars upon each other's scars. "You should get some sleep." Orion got up. Esther wanted him to stay, but she wouldn't ask him to. "I'm staying because I don't want to leave you alone. I'll sleep on the floor."
               She jumped up and pulled him down with her. "No! Just sleep here. I don't look like sleeping beauty like you, but I won't let you sleep on the floor if you're gonna stay. Thank you for staying." Orion fell on top of Esther on the bed. They were so close to each other and he held himself up with his arms to not crush her. Esther's face felt hot and he quickly removed himself while clearing his throat loudly. "Um— Are you sure? And no one is sleeping beauty. That's all fantasy. Also... I want to stay.." Esther rolled over to the side of her bed closest to the wall. "There's plenty of room, you know." She clutched her heart and tried to keep it from bursting out of her chest. Never has anyone stayed with her like this without her asking them to. It was as if Orion read Esther's mind that was asking him to stay. She didn't even have to ask, he could see everything through her eyes alone.
               Esther looked over at him and saw that he was about to fall off the bed from being so close to the edge to respectfully give her space. He was trying too hard avoiding being near her. She grabbed Orion by the arm and pulled him closer towards her. They laughed. "Goodnight. Thank you Orion. What you did and said really meant the world to me. I hope I can be there for you too." She turned away from him with her back facing the fallen star. "Goodnight Esther, don't thank me when I did nothing but say the truth about how I feel. You're already there for me by just being here. You just don't know it. You've been there from the start since we met and I haven't thanked you. So thank you."
              She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to calm her heartbeat down which was beating fast.
Esther didn't think she could ever fall asleep now. There was a beautiful, precious fallen star who had once been an archangel beside her. He told her things which healed her scars. His words and actions healed her heart, mind, and soul. She could only hope she was able to do the same for him. Esther didn't know that she was the first and only one who was able to heal Orion's scars. That her words and actions healed his shattered heart, mind, and soul that was almost consumed by the darkness. When they both broke and fell apart, they picked up the broken pieces of each other and put one another back together again. In just four days of knowing each other equaled to years of built up pain being healed. Esther was the sun and Orion was the moon. Both needed the other to be one another's light shining through each of their darkest times. The two felt whole again when they were together. The empty and lost pieces of themselves were filled with each other. They became each other's world, one another's universe. My heart is broken no more thanks to you love.
                Esther was Orion's wings in which he lost. She was his purity and angelicness that he couldn't get back, but gained again with her. They loved each other when they weren't able to love themselves. Orion was Esther's angel. He was her light within the darkness that she faced. There was no reason for her to be afraid when he was there by her side. And she was his, Esther was Orion's light. She saved him from the dark and was the one who caught him when he fell. He wasn't consumed by the darkness yet because of her. And he was hers, Orion would do anything to protect Esther from harm. She also protects him equally and just the same. Being the stars to draw stars around each other's scars. To catch one another when the other falls. To pick up the broken pieces of each other and put them back whole together again, fixing the missing and empty pieces. Fixing each other's shattered hearts. Uplifting one another. They could never walk alone as long as they have each other, standing by one another. Orion and Esther don't have wings, but they are each other's wings, helping the other to fly.
                The stars slept beside one another, unaware of their love for each other even though everyone else already saw it. All eleven stars slept soundly that night, because they had each other. Stars who drew stars upon each other's scars. I'll always be there to catch you if you fall. I will be your wings so you can fly. I'll lend you my eyes so you can see yourself in the way that I see you. I will wipe your tears away. I'll pick up the broken pieces of you. I will fix your heart if it's shattered and broken. I'll put you back together again. I will make you whole. I'll love you when you can't love yourself. I am yours. You have me. I got you. You never walk alone. I'll stand by you. I will be with you every step of the way. I'll show you reasons why you should love yourself. I will be your world, giving you the universe for you are my everything. You got the best of me.