half naked & almost famous | lil peep

17. today is not that day

gus' pov

each day my follower count and streams increased by hundreds, thousands even.

it felt like everyone i knew was on my dick all of a sudden, like i owed them something. my real day ones were already involved in my life, most of them in my music.

and it felt like everyone i didn't know hated me. i poured my emotions and heart into my music just to have a bunch of guys on the internet that i suck, i can't sing, that im emo, that i should just kill myself.

i had my real loyal fans, and i had farrah. that's what it felt like at least. the level i was performing at before hellboy was so nice and i didn't even realize it. i wasn't popular enough people would just hate, only people that wanted to care paid attention to what i was doing.

the girls still poured into my dms, not that i paid them any attention. farrah and i didn't have a public relationship yet. not that i was trying to make myself sound like a real celebrity it just hadn't been that long yet, i didn't want to subject her to the same public eye i was under right now.

i really wanted to tour with this album, as long as it keeps going this well. i don't want to go without farrah though, but there's no chance she'd leave her sister so it may be out of the question entirely. kayla was too young to come, she didn't need to be exposed to all of that. plus, school or whatever.

i was partying pretty hard before i met farrah. she'd settled me a little, but i also hadn't been out playing any shows because i was working on the album and release so much.

i still drank, and smoked and occasionally some coke or pills, but nothing like the quantity i was doing when i was performing a lot, and just partying being single. i don't think id gone a single day truly sober in years.

—-

farrah's pov

i'd been working a little bit extra lately, knowing that i had to move sooner than later. i'd be able to afford a two bedroom just fine, i just had to cut out some of my own 'high maintenance' costs.

willow and i sat beside each other at our stations.

"have you found a place and you and your sister yet?" she asked me

"nothing concrete yet. i'm interested in a few places though. it's really not a big deal but it's kind of stressful. she's my sister and i love her, but it's just a lot of responsibility to basically be her parent now. i know she's old enough to mostly manage herself, it's just strange" i vented.

willow knew the extent of my life's story, my parents, my family, my ex, and now gus and everything in between.

"she's got the best sister ever and she knows it though. i just can't believe your mom kicked her out over just being a teenager" willow rolled her eyes

"i can't believe my mother hates me so much that my sister acting like a normal teenager reminded her too much of me and she kicked her out" i laughed, that's all i could really do about it.

"and look at you now, making a bag every time you step on the stage" she said, "does gus know how lucky he is dating the hottest bitch on the planet?"

"i hope so. he's actually the sweetest though, i'm the lucky one. he takes such good care of me, and he's really good about kayla too. i know this was a huge situation to just drop on him and he never even flinched, he's just been supportive the whole time" i continued to gush to her about how good of a boyfriend he was.

"im glad you're happy farr, you're glowing. you really do deserve this after all that other fucked go shit with chris" she said

chris was my ex, the one that like shattered my arm, amongst other things.

"that feels like a different lifetime now honestly. gus' music is really blowing up. i hope he sees it and sees us and see how much better i can do than him, and how much better im doing without him" i schemed

"careful what you wish for. i don't think you want him anywhere near your life ever again. i actually listened to the album myself, it is really good. he's talented. do you think he'll tour and he'll be like a real rockstar and you'll just get to live the life?" she asked me

"fuck i hope so. not that i can't support myself, but if i never have to put on these fucking heels again i can't say i'd complain" i said, strapping my feet into the pleasers in preparation for my sets.

"well today is not that day, go make some money" she laughed, playfully pushing my towards the stage exit.