farrah's pov
at exactly nine, i heard knocks on my front door. i took a few deep breaths, i don't know why i was anxious. i should be angry.
"kay, you probably want to go do something for a few hours okay?" i asked her, not sure of how this conversation was going to go down.
"that's a good idea, i'd probably kill him if i stayed" she said, standing up from the couch and grabbing her phone and charger.
"i'm going to go to jenna's house, maybe for the night?" she asked, "yeah whatever you want just text me" i told her.
i opened the door with kayla standing behind me.
gus stood on the other side, his pink hair was shoved under a beanie. his eyes were dark and his face a little sunken. he was always slim, but i could tell he'd lost weight. he looked like a mess, to be honest. but so did i.
"hi farrah", he said quietly, "and kayla" he added.
"dude, you fucking suck" she said, brushing past him through the door. i almost laughed, that was very teenage sister of her.
"come in" i told him.
we sat on the couch, opposite ends to be exact.
i found myself looking for reasons to try and be mad at him, and yell at him but he looked so sad i felt like i was kicking a puppy.
"why?" was all i asked, it was mostly all i wanted to know.
"i don't know" he shrugged
"you do know" i said, i wanted real answers.
"i was lonely. and impatient. and drunk. and high. all a bad combination" he said
"how do i know it wouldn't happen again?" i asked
"i don't even know if im getting this second chance, im definitely not getting anymore. i'll paint the walls with my fucking brains before i'd ever do that to you again. i'm sorry farrah" his voice cracked when he said my name
i could see him holding back tears. the part of me that still cared hated to see it, but the other part of me was sadistic and wanted to see him cry, and beg, and plead for me.
"i'll do anything" he said
"don't do that again" i said, it was pretty simple.
"i promise farr, with my whole fucking heart and soul. i'm gonna give you everything you ever wanted and more. we gon shine baby" he moved a cushion closer to me, narrowing the space between us.
"it's going to take some time to trust you again" i said
"you can be my shadow. i don't care if you want eyes and ears on me twenty four seven. whatever you want" he said
"i have to think about it gus. i really do" i said, he looked disappointed
"one more chance baby. please?" he asked
"i just need some time" i told him.
"take your time, but can i say one more thing?" he asked
"go ahead" i welcomed
"i love you farrah" he said, it felt like a shot in the heart
"you don't cheat on people you love, gus" i told him
"it's never gonna happen again" he said.
i loved him too. i've been loving him. i couldn't tell him that right now, i had to show him no weakness
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half naked & almost famous | lil peep
Fanfic"i just wanna stay broke forever" yeah that's that shit no one ever said
