half naked & almost famous | lil peep

18. girlfriends are like bloodhounds

gus' pov

three knocks echoed through my front door. my last chance to make this bad choice go away, but i didn't. i stood up and walked to the door to let this girl in.

she was hot, she showed up wearing fishnets, a mini skirt and a black lace bra-style crop top. "you look good" it felt like i was listening to someone else speak as the words exited my mouth.

"thanks, so do you" she smiled, "well, i didn't come here for nothing" she smirked.

farrah. i can't do this to her. i can't.

i felt like i had blacked out, my body simply just running on auto pilot. we stumbled back to my bed, she kissed me, which i returned lazily.

"i have a girlfriend" i mumbled, drunk and already full of regret.

"we decided that doesn't matter" she reminded me.

farrah. think about farrah, peep.

i zoned out a little bit too much, thinking about farrah. layla undressed herself and then me, i mindlessly grabbed her hips while she began to ride me.

i was trying so hard to think about farrah, i forgot she wasn't farrah and now this was actually happening. fuck.

i came back to earth a little, my consciousness being pulled from the depths of my drunken brain. "no i can't do this, get off" i told her, pushing her off of me.

"what's wrong peep? you don't want me anymore?" she asked, still trying to play sexy.

her fake pornstar sounds and moves didn't do anything for me anyways.

"no, leave. get out of my house" i said firmly, throwing her clothes back at her.

"can i at least go to the bathroom first, jeez?" she asked

"whatever fine, just get out of here. this never happened" i told her, or told myself really. if i told myself that enough maybe it would be

the instant guilt felt like being swept up in a tsunami. i was out of control and felt like i was drowning. i began to panic and had no idea what to do.

farrah couldn't know, this was the most stupid and fucked up choice i've ever made.

i hardly paid attention to layla, i heard some clattering in the bathroom, the toilet flushed, her stupid street walker heels thumping down the hallway, and finally the door slammed closed behind her.

what the hell did i just do?

——

layla's pov

i knew peep had a girlfriend. i didn't care that much, really.

when he kicked me out before we even finished he pissed me off though, i was hot as fuck, why wouldn't he want me?

i cleaned myself up in the bathroom, realizing my thong was missing. probably still on his bedroom floor. however, this sparked an idea in me.

because of that his little girlfriend is gonna find out, if he would have just fucked me i would have kept my mouth shut.

men were stupid and oblivious, but girlfriends are like bloodhounds.

i ran my hands through my hair a few times, making sure to shed strands all over the bathroom.

i hit my hand on the counter, snapping my acrylic nail off, "fuck" i muttered, that shit hurts.

i tucked the nail under the edge of the bath mat.

i dug around in my purse, leaving a lipstick and a few hair ties behind as well.

i did my part, i tried to warn the girl. she just had to figure it out.

—-

gus' pov

i was in a state of paralysis in my bed. i couldn't think, i couldn't move. i just panicked. it felt like concrete was hardening in my veins, i could hardly breathe.

gasping for air i realized i was having a panic attack. i desperately reached for a bottle of pills on my dresser somewhere, swallowing three xanax bars once i got my hands on them.

farrah would never forgive me, and i could never forgive myself.

i had no idea how to deal with it so i just chose to forget, swallowing another two bars.

this was the best i could do for myself. just drift away and not feel and not think.

i was going to keep my mouth shut, and she'd never have to know. it's not like i cheated cheated. it was only like 30 seconds and i kicked her out.

it was still wrong, but it could have been worse. right?