Winter Falls, Summer Springs

A Need To Know

Trigger Warnings : grieving, flashback of mental breakdown, implied and non graphic r*pe, objectification, overwhelming anger, sexism.

Jisung stared at his fingers, picking his nails absent-mindly.

It'd been trotting into his mind for some time.

Actually, since Chan came back.

"Hyung ?"

Chan hummed, "Yeah Sungie ?"

Jisung hesitantly looked around to find no one but them, "Are you okay ?"

Chan visibly froze for a second and Jisung wondered why he looked so shocked. But then he smiled, tensed, "Yeah ? Why the question ?"

Jisung found it easy to tell when Chan would lie to any of them. They'd known each other for two years now, spending all the week-ends together to give Changbin and Chan some close time together.

And the past week, Chan had been... looking terrible.

He looked ready to cry, eyes glassy and lower lip wobbling, or he'd flinched when one of his packmates would lend a hand on his shoulder, staring at the ground hard and never blinking or even moving. Jisung wondered if he even breathed in those moments. Because when they would leave them alone, he'd start to breathe rapidly, shoulders slumping.

It was almost as if he was scared of his own pack.

But that couldn't be possible, he knew all of them and they were as caring as his own pack despite most of them being close-minded. They wouldn't do anything to Chan, right ?

"You just... don't look happy," He replied and watched the way Chan swallowed hard, as if he was just ready to let go and burst out crying.

Chan smiled as he ruffled his hair, "I'm fine, don't worry pup, just a difficult week," his smile turned fond for some reason and Jisung puckered his lips, wondering if he should press on the matter.

He knew losing a member of a pack was a horrible thing especially when it was the pack Alpha and he wouldn't be surprised Chan was still mourning their loss. Especially since the pack Alpha was Chan's, the same blood running in his veins.

But something was... weird.

Instead, he hugged him, wishing he could take in the new scent Chan had presented three weeks before. "Whatever's going on hyung, we're there for you."

Chan hugged him back, tighter as he buried his face on his shoulder, almost desperately, taking a shaky breath.

Jisung's own eyes filled with tears in empathy as Chan's body racked with his cries.

Chan never talked to him about it ever again.

Jisung didn't know why the memory suddenly came to him, maybe because it was the first and last time Chan had ever shown such a vulnerable side to him.

But now, the reason actually struck to him, the fact his pack was not as kind as he'd thought.

He still wondered what exactly they did to him to make him look less happy each passing day before his demeanor took a ninety degree turn, looking as joyful as he ever could be.

(Though it looked forced, none of them had the strength to question it, craving Chan's smile more than anything.)

Six years passed since he talked or simply saw Chan.