It Started With a Spinny

No Promises

Amity stares.

"Kidding!" Vee smiles mischievously. But then the smile fades, "And, well, I always assumed it was exaggerated, or at least I hoped it was, otherwise relationships would be nothing but painfully intense yearning and agonising lies. But in my, very limited experience, that's actually been somewhat... accurate." She sheepishly looks up, "Sorry."

Amity looks so pained again. She picks up her mug, stands and moves her chair around the table until she's sitting next to Vee, placing her mug down next to hers and taking Vee's hands.

Vee tries to control her breathing, lets herself be soothed by Amity's kindly patient smile, as she insists: "Vee, the way my parents did things, with my mother treating my father as her property - that's not okay, and it certainly didn't make them happy. Vee-" Amity looks down at their held hands, "Hypothetically, if Hunter and Gus went out... wolf shopping, or whatever humans do here. If they spent time together, would that make you sad?"

Vee frowns: "Of course not! It's been so nice seeing Hunter starting to find himself. And I'm sure he and Gus would pick out a great wolf!"

Amity nods, "Would it make you feel sad though, that Hunter was spending time with Gus instead of with you?"

Vee frowns harder: "But it's not instead of me. We could hang out later, right?"

"You wouldn't feel smaller, like there was something wrong with you that made Hunter want to hang out with Gus instead."

"Well now I do!" She squeezes Amity's hands, "Kidding, kidding. But no, if Hunter is having fun with Gus that doesn't have anything to do with me. And I don't, I, Amity what is this about?"

Amity nods. "What if you were dating Hunter?"

Vee stares: "Uuuh-"

"Sorry, bad example. What if you were dating me?"

Vee stares harder: "Uuuh-"

Amity smiles, "Sorry should I not tease that?"

Vee stares, waiting for her brain to work.

"Okay, okay," Amity soothes, "the point I was trying to make is, your friends can hang out with other people without it taking away from your friendship, right?"

Vee nods.

"But as far as my parents and your novellas are concerned, as soon as someone you're dating shows interest in anyone else, suddenly that's an attack on your self worth?"

Vee blinks: "Isn't it though?"

"No Vee! You can have fun with friends without one friendship taking away from another. So why shouldn't it be the same for love?"

Vee blinks harder: "Sh-should it?"

Amity squeezes her hands, "It is in the Boiling Isles. Outside of my family at least, something I learned the hard way in school, more than once." She sighs, looking down. "And I worry that sometimes I can feel really possessive of people I'm dating, like they belong to me or something. And that's my mother talking, and it's a habit I'm trying really hard to break!" She looks up, pinning Vee with those bright golden eyes and that patient smile. "And so how Luz feels about me," she squeezes her hands, "and how she feels about you, have nothing to do with each other. Okay?"

Vee's hearts are racing. She's trying so hard to control her breathing that she can barely get enough air to whisper: "H-how does, how does Luz feel about... me?"

Amity smiles tenderly, "She isn't sure, not yet. We talked about that while you were sleeping, and you should talk to Luz about that too so you can hear it from her."

Vee's hearts skip a beat. "And how do... sorry."

Amity leans closer with an inquisitive smirk. "How do I feel about you?"

Vee's hearts are in her throat. She meekly nods.

Amity looks down at their held hands. "I'm not sure yet either. I'm still processing, and I'm worried about making any promises when I'm still so worried about you just being okay. So I don't know yet."

All at once Vee realises that Amity is showing the side of her she only shows Luz: vulnerable, nervous, uncertain, honest. And she's showing that to Vee!

Amity takes a deep breath. "Vee, both me and Luz need a little time to figure that all out, okay?"

Vee nods.

"And I need to work on me not feeling possessive of Luz. Part of that," she sighs, "part of that is about you needing to regain my trust-"

"I'm sorr-"

"Ah ah," Amity looks up with mock sternness, "no more apologising, remember?"

Vee nods, making a conscious effort not to apologise for apologising.

Amity smiles, but it's that pained smile again, that vulnerable smile. "I guess, I haven't really felt secure about me and Luz for a while. And while, um, certain factors," she nods to a sheepish Vee, "may not have helped, the real problem was Luz not talking to me, worrying I'd hate her if I learned the truth. And now I know the truth, and she knows I don't hate her, and I hope me and Luz can work on that and maybe get back to a point where we feel safe with each other again. And then... maybe..."

Vee stares, and stares, and when she can't take the silence any more, she squeaks: "then maybe?"

Amity squeezes Vee's hands, smiling so fondly, "And then, me and Luz would both like to take the time to find out how we feel about you. Is that okay?"

Vee stares.

Amity raises an eyebrow, "Vee you look like you're about to pass out."

Vee nods. "I, I just - the idea, that you and I, that me and Luz... I didn't think, I never..."

Amity leans closer again, "You didn't think it was possible?"

Vee desperately nods.

Amity nods too. "I can't make any promises, and neither can Luz, and I am sorry about that! But, if you're patient, we'd both like to try. I hope that's enough?"

Vee frantically nods. "It's more than enough! More than I deserve!"

"Oh Vee," Amity pulls her into a hug.