Coarse and Offensive Language. Reader Discretion Advised.
A sheepish grin spread across BB's face as he came to the climax of his joke. There was a prolonged silence that followed the outburst, and then Colin started to giggle, and his giggle turned into a grunting chuckle, and the chuckle then into a howling fit of laughter that made his eyes run and his knees sore with the amount of slapping he subjected them too. 'Oh! Ho-oh! OH! That's good. That's very good, BB. Fuck—Goat-Fucker. Ack, that's funny!'
BB doffed an imaginary cap, but the pride of his face slid away at the sight of Ohannes' baffled expression. 'I am not understanding.'
'What d'ya mean? He's done all this great stuff, but all he's known for—hehe—is for—haha—fuckin' a—'
'Yes, yes!' Ohannes said. 'I am understanding he is fucking the goat. I am not understanding why this being funny? This is tragedy. Where is his family?! Why they let him out with the child?! He is in needing of so much help, mental-llaly speaking.'
'No! That's...that's not the point of the—'
'No point!' shouted Ohannes, waving his cigarette in BB's face. 'It is not being funny. This is a very sad man! Why is he not being locked away?! There is being serious problem with this whole family!'
'Ack, forget it,' said BB, defeatedly dropping back down onto his stool. Ohannes, being so revolted, returned to his regularly scheduled programming with a shake and a shudder.
'I thought it was funny,' said Colin, still dabbing at the corners of his eyes for tears.
'It's a good joke—'
'Hmph!' said Ohannes.
'It is!' persisted BB. 'It's...it's a deep joke...it's one of those...it's funny how things like jokes speak to ya, ya know?'
'Deep?! Speaking to you?!' mocked Ohannes, giving up on Bronk all together. Jack Palance just wasn't Telly Cevelas. 'How does the goat fucking be speaking to you? What, you is a goat fucker now?!'
'No, I most certainly am not a goat fucker! The joke has nothin' to do with goat fuckin'! It's all to do with...with...'
'With what?!'
'Oh, I dunno! I dunno!'
'It has all to do,' said Colin, settling his head back down on the bar, 'with givin' a shit, and only bein' remembered for your mistakes!'
'I would not be calling the fucking of a goat 'a mistake'. How you make that mistake? That is conscious choice!'
'You're not listenin'! Colin's right. It's nothin' to do with fuckin' the goat, goddamn it, man! It's all about what ya do for your home, what your willin' to give up...and for what? To laughed at, ridiculed, mocked, ignored, forgotten? It's just a place after all. It's just brick and mortar and mud, and everyone who gives a shit ends up under the ground, or far away. And those that stay, those that have a home because of ya, they fuckin' don't want ya! Ya fuck up once, and that's how they see ya. That's the point. Ya leave your soul on the line. Ya believe what your doin' is right, and no one cares. No one gives a shit. They scorn ya. They drive ya out. And all your left with is hands of blood. They teach us to fight and die for our homes, but they don't tell us what happens to us if we survive...'
Ohannes cocked his head at the suddenly animated Irishman. 'You got all this from a bad joke about fucking goats?'
'Ack...no. I dunno. Ya get older, and ya start to take account. Have you ever fought in a war?'
YOU ARE READING
It's Hard To Be Holy
Aktuelle LiteraturPART I NOW COMPLETE! PART II NOW COMPLETE! PART III NOW COMPLETE! PART IV IS NOW PUBLISHING EVERY TUESDAY AT 12 AM (EDT). ******************************* Alan Carr, a reclusive, world renown singer, recounts the story of the rise and fall of his c...