It's Hard To Be Holy

EP. 98: Chapter III (Cont'd)

Coarse and Offensive Language. Reader Discretion Advised.

'Mr. Towne!' squawked the scowling Ohannes from behind his mostly polished bar. 'Where have you been being?'

'Shit...Um...Sorry! Yeah, I've been—'

'I am not be paying you to be being been! I am paying you to be being here!'

'Ya know,' said Colin, barely lifting his head from its resting place upon a coaster to take a drag from his cigarette, 'whoever taught ya gerunds and verbs is a fuckin' arsehole!'

'Aye,' agreed BB, 'an adverb here or there wouldn't kill ya!'

'Look, Mr. Ohannes,' cut in Ed with some apprehension, 'I'm really sorry I haven't been around, it's just—'

'What am I to do? I be paying two of you as together—what's the English word?'

'Team?' offered Colin.

'Compadres,' said BB.

'Tandem!' yelled Ohannes.

'Sure, how's that the fuckin' word ya know?!'

'Tell me, Mr. Towne! Why is you not being been here when you is supposed to be?'

'Because, he's gettin' nooky,' smirked Alan with some spite and was pleased to see that Ed blushed.

Serves him right.

Colin perked up at the mention of 'nooky', and his and BB's faces broke out into sly grins as they looked upon the blond in the dirty cap with something akin to pride. 'Good on ya!'

'Always knew ya had it in ya, lad,' said BB, lazily toasting Ed with his drink.

'Nooky? What is being this 'nooky'?'

'It means he's gettin' some!' applauded Colin.

'I am not understanding—'

'It means,' openly mocked Alan, lips curled upward in a derisive leer, 'he's fallen in love.'

Fuck him!

'Don't say that!' Ed snapped, and if he had been more prone to violence, he would have gladly give his companion a good belt in the mouth. 'Don't fuckin' say that!'

'You said it!'

'That's different—'

'Ahhh, habibi! I see, I see!' and Ohannes flew from his position, coming around the bar and crossing to Ed. He embraced the younger man by the shoulders and pecked with loud kisses at his cheeks, alternating left, right, and left again.

'Stop! Stop! Bud, you fucker—Stop! I'm not in love!'

Let him writhe!

'No, no, Mr. Towne, you must not be hiding from love. This is being the beauty of life. To love, nothing better! Nothing better!'

'It's not worth it!' babbled Edward Towne, wiping hard at his cheeks.

'Not worth it?!' gaped the bartender. 'Not—How can you come to be saying this?! Not worth—when has never love been worthless in this world of ours?! The most beautiful—the most sacred of all our adventures. It is worth everything! To love and to be loved—mon dieu!'

'Yeah,' tittered Colin, 'honestly Edward, ya've got no right to be picky. You of all people!'

'Shut up, Pa!'