The other Janaki

Perplexion

The practice arena was a breath of fresh air compared to the confinements of the palace. It wasn't that she hated being a part of the festivities, but the constant bustling of servants and decisions of elaborate wedding plans were making Urmila nauseous. It didn't help either that on top of all these , an undesirable marriage proposal lingered on her head. She had succesfully convinced her parents to not think about it , at least not untill they were done with Sita's wedding. She hadn't accepted the proposal either- a letter from Shatanand sent to Kalinga stated that the princess needs time to make decision. And then there was Prince Lakshman-too much worry for a single brain. 

Therefore in the early hours of the dusk, after she had retired from all her princessly duties , she had grabbed Ajay ,  her sword , changed into light-weighted garments of a plain dhoti and marched down towards the practice arena-her favourite part of the palace. It felt nice, to be back here after so many days-the gentle breeze kissing her face and playing with the loose strands of her locks that had escaped from the tight braid -and she ran her sword freely in the air , her moves immaculate. But it didnot help- wasnot able to remove the thoughts from her brain. She was already well versed with the swordmanship-she could easily make moves without much thought. Urmila knew what could help her at this moment- something that she couldn't very well do and hated the fact that she couldn't , something that would successfully consume all of her energy-archery.

The entire place was lit up innumerous torches - the fire from whose easily allowed her to see the target. As she set the her position - she took a deep breathe and shot. It wasn't a difficult bet-she had missed it as usual.

"Your posture is incorrect"

It was him. Urmila didnot need to turn back to realize who it was. She knew the voice too well- the owner of it had consumed most of her dreams lately. She heard his footsteps getting louder- was he approaching her. How did he appear everytime she was alone?  It appeared that  Prince  Lakshman had an unfortunate tendancy of catching her in her vulnerable states. 

" Here, let me show you" his voice was soft as he spoke it in her ears. He was standing too close to her - she could feel his warmth radiating to her,and could almost hear his breath.  Was it proper -the close they were standing ?  It didnot feel wrong either.  Surprisingly, Urmila was not nervous by this intimacy but grew more calm. "Starighten your right arm " he said as he pulled up her right arm by her elbow. His touch was light and for the shortest time. But Urmila could already feel the desirable heat in them. "Now pull your shoulders back"he continued " And now , shoot!" 

At his word , Urmila pulled the string and the sharp metallic arrow cut its way through the air and hit the red spot on the target - a neat and perfect shot. In all her life, the princess had never been this successful . She was overjoyed , overwhelmed. 

" You see , it's that easy" the voice was still close to her , his breathe now hitting her shoulders. The atmosphere suddenly felt more humid as  she turned around to thank her instructor. Her blue orbs met his brown eyes- it was so surreal-the rather small distance between them. They were standing close-so very close , him with his  tall and strong built structure  and her with her short and dainty form. Their breaths mingled , as small beads of  sweats rand down their , their spine but the two appeared to have forgotten their ability to speak. But then something kicked in him , as he took a step behind. 

" I ..."

Was he going to apologize ?

"Thank you." Urmila interjected," I have never been this successful with archery "

Lakshman smiled. His lips curving upwards in an affectionate way - a sight that Urmila swore she could see all her life. 

" It wasn't all that difficult , honestly. Just a bit of focus and appropriate posture and you are good to go. Easier than swordfighting in my opinion. Which, surprisingly you are pretty good at. I was watching you practice...."

He stopped abruptly , having said something he was not supposed. Even in the low lights, Urmila could bet she saw a pink hue creeping onto his cheeks - Was he blushing ? Well Probably he was. He had just confessed , he was watching you.  Suddenly a tingling feeling of joy filled up within her. 

"How long have you been here ? Were you spying on me ?" Urmila tried what appeared to be a failed attempt of a joke. The tension was clearly brewing between them , and she tried to dilute it. Lakshman , on the other hand , didnot find it funny. 

" Congratulations on your nuptial , by the way" He said , his voice suddenly indifferent and cold. There were barely any emotions laced with it. How did he know about that ? It was Janak's strict instruction that the news of the proposal shall remain confined within the members of the family. Then how did he know about it ? Did some servant overheard their conversation and began spreading the gossip ? News as such wouldn't take much time to spread . If so , then she immediately needed to stop it.

" It was your sister who told my brother"Lakshman clarified. 

"Which sister?"It was two days since the other two princes of Kosala had arrived and Urmila had seen their growing proximity with her cousins. Prince Bharat, surely the most handsome of all the princes, had become more than mere acquittance to her dear cousin Mandavi and Urmila had caught the youngest Shatrughan giving dreamy looks to Shruta. If matters were all right , Urmila could bet there would be two more alliances between Ayodhya and Mithila in due time. 

" Sita Bhabi   told Ram Bhaiya . She was....is..concerned . She told a letter came from Kalinga . What's his name again ? Rudranil" He spoke the last line gritting his teeth, as if it were the most distasteful thing he had ever uttered. 

Oh...this is it . Urmila was relieved for a moment , before remembering , this wasn't something Lakshman was supposed to know.

" I ..am ...not marrying...."

"Oh..." the coldness in his face suddenly gone. 

" I haven't said anything yes .. of course "

"Yes...why..marriage is scary ...."

"Is it not " Urmila let out a chuckle. This was awkward..their conversation , but there something very pleasing. For the first , probably she was not the only one running out of words, it was Lakshman too. 

" There was a time" Lakshman said , his voice full of mirth , " I had sworn to be a celibate ...."

The moment he had said the words , Lakshman knew he had done a blunder. Urmila's expressions visbly darkened. He was his brother's devotee, Urmila had heard her mother say that once. Surely, he mustn't have any room for anybody else in his heart. It was foolish of her to presume anything else. 

" But..that ...that has changed" Lakshman's voice was small , as he said those words, his eyes piercing through her. Urmila kept her chin up , she was a strong princess , after all-not someone to be broken down by mere words. The two kept facing each other. Urmila chose not to make any comment on the Prince's sudden declaration that he had wished to remain celibate - a wish which according to him has changed.

But why ?

"Princess Urmila...I.." Lakshman began. The most feared and vocal prince of Ayodhya was suddenly scared . His throat dry. The words in his minds hesistant to come out of his mind.

Say it Lakshman. Say it . Save me -save us- from all these confusions. Urmila almost prayed. Her blue eyes-expectant, eager ,hopeful- as she seeked for the words that her ears were dying to hear. 

" Princess Urmila ...I .....I have to go. Brother Ram...." He gave a small bow and dashed off from there, as if the mere presence of her was suffocating her. 

Urmila stood there, baffled. What all did happen there ? Surely, he meant to say something else. Or was it her stupid heart who craved too much. 

Will she ever get the answer ? Or was she to remain all her life in this rather frenzy state of Perplexion?

Dear Readers,

Was this chapter a bit too cliche' ?