MASTERMIND | Jamie Tartt

TWENTY EIGHT: A ROMCOM A DAY

"I'm not even sure why I'm here," Billie muttered to herself, sitting in Richmond's media room between Sam and Colin as the team watched a playback of their last match in which they lost.

It was yet another match in which Richmond hoped to prove their worth, and earn a solid three points, but it didn't quite go the way they had hoped, with the opposition scoring a goal with minutes left of the match. The team relived the moment in which the opposition's number nine was able to score an easy goal as a result of Jan Maas' weak defence.

Billie looked at the boys sitting on either side of her, both Colin and Sam sharing faces of disappointment as they relived yet another loss.

"Jan Maas," Isaac called out across the room, "That's shit defending."

"Yes, that goal was entirely my fault," Jan sighed, never one to filter the facts.

"I don't wanna hear it, we need to get our shit together!" Isaac exclaimed as Billie and Sam shared a look of concern, knowing that it wasn't as simple as just 'getting their shit together'.

"Hey, hit pause for me, will you?" Ted nudged Coach Beard, "Hey fellas!"

The team looked at Ted as he made his way to the front of the room, "Listen, I don't care what our record is, but I hear the chatter, people saying there's something wrong with us, not the way I see it, okay?" He remarked as the team stared at him blankly, "And here's why, I believe in communism."

Billie frowned, Isaac looked intrigued, and Sam was confused.

"Rom-communism, that is," Ted corrected himself, but the team were equally just as puzzled.

"What is rom-communism?" Bumbercatch asked the question that everyone was thinking.

"Well, Bumbercatch, it is a worldview that reminds us that romantic comedies with folks like Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan or Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant or..." Ted trailed off, looking to his colleague for support, "Who am I missing, Coach?"

"Drew Barrymore," Richard answered.

"Matthew McConaughey, obviously," Zoreaux added from beside Sam.

"Alright, alright, yeah," Ted nodded.

"The three Kates," Jamie added and Billie couldn't help but smile, her dedication to educating him on romcoms had paid off.

"Yeah, Beckinsale, Hudson, Winslet," Colin agreed, earning a pat on the shoulder from Jamie.

"Forgot Blanchett," Nate muttered.

"Different spelling," Coach Beard sighed in disgust.

"Can't forget Sam Claflin and his dedication to book adaptations," Billie reminded the boys, earning nods of appreciation.

"Bils, Me Before You was sad as fuck," Jamie replied, as she turned to face him, "Sorry for the spoilers, boys."

"Well, Love Rosie is next on our list, you'll like him in that," Billie told him before turning to face the front of the room, while Colin and Isaac both silently acknowledging that Billie and Jamie had been watching romcoms together.

"I enjoy Renée Zellweger and all the Bridget Jones movies," Said Sam as the team hummed in agreement, "Her accent is pitch perfect, and her gift of physical comedy is grossly underrated."

Jamie snapped his fingers repeatedly in agreement as Billie was reminded of their passionate debate two weeks ago about who Bridget should've ended up with.

"Alright, you've gotta give it up for Zellweger," Ted nodded in agreement, "Look, point is, fellas, if all those attractive people with their amazing apartments and interesting jobs, usually in some creative field, can go through some lighthearted struggles and still end up happy, then so can we."