Blissful Bite ─ Venti x reader

35. ; SELF LOATHING HAPPENS

I caged his frail body. He was no more than a feather about to be blown away by the wind to fulfill the final act of my scheme. His pupils widened, I knew that he smelled it too. Yet his eyes were so peaceful, so calm and warm. I didn't deserve this forgiveness. My heart stung. It dared to break apart and tumble out of my chest.

Then I had to shake it off, and my thoughts became overwhelmingly loud.

Kill him.

Kill him.

Kill him.

And I stabbed him right through his chest.

The potion I infected my dagger with slowed his breath, and his heart and his movements disappeared. A living corpse, I looked at the figure. He was a great actor, that for sure.

If it weren't for the live threatening situation, I would've laughed.

This was ridiculous!

Hilarious even, how easy we could get executed.

When no one watched, I smeered the blood from my thighs on my arms. I'd have to pretend now better than ever that I was a great actor that I could fool everyone. I had to act as though my life depended on it and mold the gambler face into a mask I could never tear off. Not until the end was in sight.

My fingers, bloody as they were, went over his chest as I tugged the false dagger out. I was certain the bag had ripped, oh that worked.

Maybe I wasn't going to die.

Maybe the next daylight wouldn't be our final moment.

"What's the status, dear enforcer?" Kaeya taunted.

I felt my stomach turn, I wanted to throw up, my body told me it couldn't hold in much longer. I didn't comply. Suspicions could be raised if I did. My plans wouldn't be foiled by my body reactions.

"He's dead," I confirmed, trying to choke down a telling shaky breath. The hyperventilation I felt was forced down. I tried to meet Kaeya's gaze without much hesitation.

That day, I prayed to every heavenly entity that it would work out.

—*—

My eyelids blinked a few times before I realized that it was a bad dream.

No, not a nightmare. It was reality. A memory that had replayed over 10 times in my mind.

The repetitiveness made me sick. I threw up before, my stomach would churn, and I'd stagger back, but not today. It differed from the other times.

As I tried to sit up, I felt the touch of someone else around my waist. Their face rested in my neck.

Someone beside me grumbled,
"Mhm, 5 more minutes," he whispered against my skin. His breath was warm and sent shivers down my spine. I shrieked.

I recognized the midnight hair, those emerald eyes, and those sweet tasting lips.

"Stop scaring me like that!" I heaved a sigh, and the smile that rested for a trivial moment on my lips faltered.

He nudged me as if to say that I was going to be okay. It would be, eventually, and even if it didn't, he'd be there to take every step.

Every single one.

No matter if I'd take turns and steal opportunities until I'd grow old, wrinkled, and grey, he'd be there. To finish what we had begun, he interlaced our fingers and kissed my hand, "I know you're scared, but don't be afraid to tell me."