Sound of Silence (Good Hearts Series #1)

Chapter 29

"The Vice Chairman of SEGOVIA Company, Attorney Antonio Favro Segovia and the owner of the Luxury Company and Luxury Department, Alison Claire Segovia have confirmed their divorce after four years of marriage."

Pinatay ko ang T.V dahil sa balita. Seriously? Segovia pa rin ang ginamit nila na apelyido ko. It's been a month. Ngayon lang iyon binalita dahil inasikaso pa namin sa France.

Inabutan ako ni Tata ng tsaa at tumabi sa akin. "Okay ka lang?"

I smiled and leaned my back on the sofa. "Yup. I'm okay."

"I never saw you cry since the day of your break up. Isang buwan na at hindi pa rin kita nakikitang umiiyak o nasasaktan man lang sa nangyari. Are you really okay? It's okay to cry, Ali," aniya.

Umiling ako. "I'm really okay," I said, smiling. It feels easier to just keep pretending that everything's okay because if I admit that I am suffering, it would make the feelings so real.

"What was the reason of your break up? Sa nakikita ko mahal niyo ang isa't-isa..." aniya. Ngayon lang siguro siya nagkaroon ng lakas ng loob tanungin 'yon.

Natahimik ako roon. Tumingin ako sa tasa na hawak ko at pagkatapos ay isinandal ang batok sa sofa saka tumingala at tumingin sa kisame. "Nagising na lang ako na... hindi ko na siya mahal."

Natahimik siya. Umayos ako nang upo at ininom ang tsaa saka kinagat ang ibabang labi. I then took a deep breath.

Tumunog ang cellphone niya kaya sinagot niya 'yon at nang ibinaba ay nagpaalam siya sa akin na may pupuntahan daw. Inilapag ko ang tasa sa lamesa at naiwan akong mag-isa sa bahay, at doon na tumulo ang mga luha ko.

I'm not okay. I'm not really okay.

Napahagulgol ako mag-isa. I'm still trying to be okay but it's so hard. The pain was too deep.

I know my decision was right because it's for the both of us. Kung kami talaga ang para sa isa't-isa, hindi namin kailangan ipilit 'yon ngayon. We need to breathe, and I need to get out from my traumas. Hindi ko siya kayang mahalin kung sira ako dahil masisira lang din ang relasyon namin.

Our relationship wasn't working for me because I was broken. My inside was broken. Everything about me was broken.

Favro was so nice and good to me. He helped me overcome my insecurities and taught me how to love my flaws. He gave me more love than I expected. He loved me completely and made me happy but despite all that I still managed to leave him. Why? Because I felt drained by the situation we had before, and I was becoming toxic to him and I was the reason of all his tiredness. Our relationship was no longer healthy for both of us, but if we are given a second chance to fix it, I'd take the risk... because we all deserve a love that is good for our mental health.

"Natatakot ako..." sambit ko.

"Patawarin mo ako, Claire..." sambit ni mama habang inaayos ang bag sa likod ko.

"H-huwag mo akong iwan... dito ka lang..." Nagsimula akong humikbi.

"Hindi na ako babalik..." Pinunasan niya ang luha niya at mabilis akong umiling.

"Ayoko! Hindi ko gusto rito!" sigaw ko habang umiiyak. Niyakap niya ako nang mahigpit habang umiiyak kaming dalawa.

Hinarap niya ako. "Sorry, Claire. Hindi na babalik si mama. Magpakabait ka rito, ha?" Pinunasan niya ang luha ko.