Sound of Silence (Good Hearts Series #1)

Chapter 18

Warning: Mature content. Read at your own risk.

"Hallucinations."

My forehead creased when I heard what the doctor said. It's been three days and I couldn't get that scene out of my mind. Pakiramdam ko ay mababaliw ako kaiisip kung ano ang nangyari. It's like I was dreaming but I was not.

I woke up even though I wasn't sleeping. Natauhan na lang ako at nakahiga na ako sa kwarto ko. Sabi ni Favro ay inaapoy ako ng lagnat kaya hiniga niya ako roon. Maybe that was because of the rain. Kinabukasan din ay gumaling ako dahil sa pag-aalaga at pag-papainom sa akin ni Favro ng gamot.

"I was just hallucinating?" naguguluhang tanong ko sa doctor.

"Yes, Mrs. Segovia. You were hallucinating. Are you stressed?" he asked.

"Yes, at work," I said. Tutal nandito na ako ay gusto ko na rin i-open kung bakit madalas akong binabangungot.

"I also have insomnia," I started. "And I have nightmares when I sleep," I said.

"Have you ever had a mental health condition such as PTSD?" he asked seriously.

"I don't have that. My doctor said I only have insomnia," I said. "Am I sick?" bumaba ang boses ko.

"I can't say that for now. In adults, frequent nightmares are associated with PTSD or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and psychiatric conditions, while people with certain sleep disorders may be at increased risk for hypnagogic hallucinations. Although hypnagogic hallucinations and sleep paralysis are two separate phenomena, they can occur simultaneously." Ipinagsalikop niya ang kanyang mga kamay. "I'll have to ask you more questions to know if you're suffering from PTSD or other psychiatric conditions. Do you want to do that now, Mrs. Segovia?"

Napalunok ako. Pinisil ko ang isang palad gamit ang isang kamay at huminga nang malalim. My phone vibrated so I looked at it.

Segovia:

Where are you? I'll fetch you.

Hindi ako nakasagot. He doesn't have any idea about my hallucinations because I didn't tell him. Itinago ko ang cellphone ko at tumingin sa doctor.

"Let's do it."

Marami siyang tinanong sa akin gaya nang kung nag attempt ba ako ng suicide o sinubukan ko bang saktan ang sarili ko. Sinagot ko ang mga iyon at aniya'y babalik na lang ako next week para malaman ko ang sagot.

Tulala akong naglakad pauwi ng bahay. Hindi ko nga alam kung paano ako nakauwi nang maayos.

"Hey, are you okay?" Agad na lumapit sa akin si Favro.

I looked at him with a smile on my lips but I don't know if he could see my true feelings in my eyes. I am not okay. Nababahala ako na baka may sakit ako sa utak dahil sa hallucinations ko.

"I'm oka—" Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang binuhat niya ako na para bang bagong kasal kaming dalawa.

"W-what are you doing?" tanong ko at napakapit talaga ako sa kanya.

"I'll take you to your room. You don't look okay, darling." Natahimik na lang ako dahil sa sinabi niya at hindi na ako nagreklamo. Pakiramdam ko rin ay wala na akong lakas para umakyat sa kwarto ko.

Ayokong itago sa kanya ang pagpunta ko sa hospital pero hindi pa ako sigurado sa sarili ko. I don't want to worry him.

Dahan-dahan niya akong hiniga sa kama. "Thanks, Favro," I said in a low voice.

He sat beside me and caressed my hair. "What's bothering you, darling?"

I looked into his eyes and shook my head. "I'm okay, Favro. I'm just tired," I said and hugged him. Ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko at naramdaman kong humiga siya. I felt his hug and the noises in my mind were silenced.