EPIPHANY ✁ newt

26 , don't worry

"We'll figure out a way, Newt. I'm telling you." I repeated again. It felt like the hundredth time I'd said that in the time we both sat outside on the roof, but I wouldn't stop until I was sure he believed me. Newt didn't reply for a few seconds, instead looking away at a nearby building.

"Did I ever tell you about when I broke my leg?" he suddenly asked, turning his dark eyes to me which had lightened to a honey colour in the sun. "It was way back in the Maze, I had just come up in the box, like all the other guys. Didn't know where I was... didn't know who I was, you know? And... and even though all my memories were gone I could still feel... that something was missing. I felt empty."

I swallowed, remaining deathly silent as Newt spoke. I wasn't sure why I was treating him like a wounded animal, but I knew that whenever he spoke, I would listen. I wanted to hear more about him, I wanted him to feel comfortable enough to open up with me. I wasn't willing to break that by any means.

"And I just, I couldn't take that." he went on, "I couldn't take it. So one morning I... I got up early, and I snuck out into the Maze and... I went and I found the tallest wall I could." Newt turned his eyes up to the sky, squinting as the sun glared down on us. I could feel where this story was going and couldn't help the tears that were threatening to form in my eyes no matter how much I blinked them away. "I climbed up there and... I jumped off it."

I looked down at my hands, trying to stop them from shaking as I felt a few tears fall down my face. He didn't deserve it. Any of it. Any of this. How psychotic would a person have to be to put someone like Newt into a place like the Maze? Willingly? "Course I got completely tangled up in all the ivy, snapped my leg in three different places like a proper idiot." he went on, laughing slightly, but I found this whole story far from funny.

"I landed hard on the floor. I thought that was it... and then Minho found me. Somehow. He picked me up and he took me back to the glade, and we never told anyone the truth about what had happened. He saved me - he gave me a second chance. And now he needs us."

I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from letting any expression show on my face. I didn't know what to say. No words felt enough to explain everything I wanted to say to him. "Well, I'm glad he did." Newt's eyes flickered back over to me. "I'm glad Minho found you. You have no idea how glad I am you're here right now, Newt. So, yes, we will save Minho. But that doesn't mean I'm giving up on you."

The blonde gave me a small smile, and with a shaky breath I stood up, turning away to give Newt some space I was sure he wanted, but before I could take even two steps away from him I felt a hand grab hold of my wrist, spinning me around. A frown was evident on Newt's face as I stopped myself from gasping, seeing the boy so close as he lifted his other warm hand to trace across my collarbone absentmindedly.

His eyes met mine as I winced in pain, neck still sore from being half strangled only an hour or so ago. "Sorry..." he started, removing his hand as if realising what he was doing. "Seph, what happened to your neck?" I swallowed, looking down as I tried to keep breathing normally, unable to hold his gaze any longer.

"I, uhm, its really nothing, Newt." I felt like an idiot standing in front of this boy, someone who had just told me one of the most heart wrenching possible stories, complaining about some bruises that didn't even hurt that much. "Really, its fine. Do you want to go in? I-it's really ho-"

"Sephora." I could see the intensity in Newt's eyes as he looked at me, "what happened to you." It was more of a demand than question, and I couldn't stand here forever - wasting our precious limited time.

"Uh, that guy... Lawrence, the crank, whatever, he - I'm not really sure, he thought I was someone else or something. Kept calling me Rose - whoever that is. Anyway, its nothing. I managed to get him off me before he could do any serious damage or anything. But I'd rather you not say anything to the others, Newt. I-I don't want this to interfere with our plan. As you said, we need to get Minho out, right?"

Newt looked angry, but he nodded, clenching his jaw. "Jesus, Seph. You could have said something to me at least. Come on, I'll ask Gally if there's anything you can put on it for the pain." but I could hear the pain and fear in his voice, and understood what he was thinking. Lawrence was a crank. Newt had been infected. He was scared he's become something like him.

"Newt, I promise you, I'm fine. Really. I need you to trust me and relax, okay? Besides - you can't just tell me you were- you got- you know... you can't just say something like that and then worry about these." I laughed softly, shaking my head as Newt sighed, defeat clear in his eyes.

"Fine - okay. But if it gets bad at all you tell me, alright? And in case you feel your dressing for the stab wound start opening up again say something this time. It'll save you passing out again and save us a lot of stress." he pleaded, and I nodded slightly, seeing no point trying to fight a basic request if it gave him some sort of peace.

"Newt, I will... but you really don't have to worry about me." I said gently, taking his hand that was untouched by the virus in mine as I spoke. "I can take care of myself, okay? I don't want you thinking you have to look out for me every second. I appreciate it a lot more than you realise, seriously. But I- you have to understand that they're a lot of people here who care about you as well. A lot. But I need you to take care of yourself, Newt."

I couldn't help notice how close his face was, no matter how much I tried to tell my mind this wasn't the right time to be having these thoughts. A strange look slipped onto his face, one I couldn't understand as he watched me. I could feel my heart beating all too fast as my eyes involuntarily flickered to Newt's lips, averting them to my feet as soon as I realised what we were doing.

"Newt? Seph? Are you guys out there?" I instantly moved away from the blondes grip at the sound of Thomas's voice, both of us turning to look at the boy standing with his head poking out of the door leading onto the roof. He had a look of grim determination painted on his face as he spoke, "Come on, if we're doing this, we gonna start planning. It'll have to be tonight or early tomorrow - and we don't have much time to come up with a decent plan."

Newt tilted his head slightly, looking at the boy. "So... you're willing to do it?" He looked surprised, almost proud.

Thomas nodded once, walking out and shutting the door behind him. "Yeah, you were right, Newt. I'm the one who should be sorry - really. If Teresa is our way to Minho... we have to use her. I mean, its not like we didn't try to help her at first. Didn't try to convince her to stay. She made our choice back then... I guess I should have known."

I walked up to Thomas, placing one hand on his shoulder and giving him a small smile. I know he didn't need sympathy right now, but he did need to know his friends didn't think any differently of him. "Thank you, Tommy. I do have one question for you, when I, uh, passed out - I woke up without my jacket on. Do either of you two know where it is? I... need it for something."

Newt looked like something was bothering him as he said, "In the room you woke up in - sorry, I had to take it off to... you know, patch up the wound. I can come with you if you want." he offered, but I shook my head.

"Thanks, but I'll be alright. I'll see you two in a second." With that I ran. Ran as fast as I could towards the only thing I needed in that moment. I reached the dimly lit room, making sure Lawrence wasn't anywhere to be seen as I rushed in, grabbing hold of my black jacket with shaking hands and stuffing one into the pocket I knew I had left my most precious possession in.

I moved my hand around in the soft pocket frantically, stuffing my hand into the other sides pocket as well when my hand came out empty, but a minute or two later my heart almost stopped, realising the devastating reality I didn't want to believe. The vial that I had carried so valiantly through thick and thin, knowing it would be needed at some point, was gone.

When the person I probably cared about the most in the world at that moment need it, it had vanished.