EPIPHANY ✁ newt

38 , in memory

We ventured back to the camp an hour or so later, quickly learning that Thomas had finally woken up. "Tommy!" Newt and I ran over to the slightly bemused boy as he walked out of the tent he's been in, the blonde giving him a hug as I watched, trying desperately to keep the tears out of my eyes. I walked up to him after Newt had moved away, gently hugging him, making sure I was careful about his still pretty new bullet wound. "Hey... its bloody good to see you, mate. How're you feeling?" I asked, smiling.

Thomas swallowed, as if trying to find his voice, before replying. "I feel pretty okay, but Mary want's to make sure my wounds are healing alright before letting me explore this place. I told her I needed to see you guys first. Newt - I have the serum. More of it, I mean. Janson got a vial out of me before Teresa knocked him out." I raised an eyebrow at the boy speaking so nonchalantly about matters I thought needed a bit of explaining, albeit Teresa having told us a bit of the story the night before, it was clear she'd held back.

"It's okay, Tommy." Newt assured, stepping up beside me as he placed a hand of the boys shoulder. "Mary took care of me already - all the non immunes here have gotten a dose of the serum already. She said you wouldn't mind her taking them from you without permission, so she did. I'm fine, relax."

Thomas sighed in relief, basically confirming what Mary had said. "Oh, thank god. She's right about that... I'm glad. You look good, Newt, and you too - Seph. Did Mary find an antidote to whatever was going on with you?"

Only then did I realise I had never really told anyone other than Newt about my illness. "Yeah... I'm okay now." I could see a question in Thomas's eyes that he seemed uncomfortable to ask, so I replied for him. "Teresa's back at the other side camp. She hasn't spoken to anyone much other than last night. Last I saw her she was helping set up a few extra tents. And... Brenda was walking down the beach this morning - I haven't seen her since."

Thomas looked at me gratefully, thanking me quickly before he ran off to meet Minho, then slowly wandered towards where I'd said Teresa was working. Newt sighed from beside me, watching the boy walk away. "Well... seems like Tommy here as a decision to make." He said playfully as I nudged him, laughing.

Later in the day, Vince gathered everyone around the camp - as he stood in front of a huge stone lying on the shore, half buried in the sand, the gorgeous darkening sky behind it. "We have all come a long way together..." he started, as Newt took a seat beside me, and my response being instinctively moving closer to him and resting my head on his shoulder. "So many people have sacrificed so much to make this place possible. Your friends and your family... everyone has given so much." Vince went on, holding his cup of tea up almost as if in salute.

"So here's to the ones who couldn't be here, here's to the friends we lost along the way. This place is for you - its for all of us. But this..." the man turned backwards to face the rock slab I'd noticed before, picking up what I guessed was a carving knife from a table near him, "This is for them. So in your own time, in your own way... come make your peace. And welcome to the Safe Heaven!" I could feel a few tears running down my cheeks as I clapped with the rest of the people around me.

Newt lifted one of his cool hands to my face when he noticed my tears, wiping them away slowly with a small smile. "Hey... you don't have to do it if you don't want to, Seph. It's only to bring you peace - not more pain, love. I'm sure Harriet, Sonya, Aris or someone else from your glade will take care of all the names from there. Don't put yourself through that."

I was silent for a few moments, watching Minho walk up the the stone and start carving in the first name. Winston. Thomas went after him... Chuck. "No... no, I have to, Newt. She deserves it." The blonde simply nodded, and refrained to ask me who I was speaking about even though I could tell he wanted to. That was one of the things I loved about him.

Instead, a while later, once the crowd around the rock had cleared up and only two or three immunes stood around watching us, Newt led me over to the rock silently, the boy picking the knife up first, kneeling down in front of the rock. "Alby would have wanted it to be me." he said softly, starting to quickly scrape the letters into the stone.

Newt stood up a few minutes later, and I watched as he wiped away a tear or two from his face before turning to me, extending the knife out for me to take from him. "Thank you," I whispered, taking hold of the blades grip and switching spots with Newt - kneeling down where he had been a mere few seconds ago. Taking a deep breath, I started carving her name into the stone with shaking hands, praying I wouldn't mess it up somehow.

L E Y A

And just like that, it was done. The girl who had meant so much to me, who had served as a literal lifeline to me during our time stuck in the maze, reduced to just a name on a rock. How long would it be till the carving faded? How long till I couldn't perfectly recall her voice anymore? I choked on a sob, stumbling away from the rock and taking a good few steps away before I stopped moving.

Newt was by my side in a second, wrapping his arms around me as he whispered incoherent sweet nothings to me until I could feel my heartbeat and breathing calm down a bit. "Who was she to you, Seph? Really. Darling, talk to me." His nickname for me caused my heart to skip a beat, and I tried focusing on the way I felt whenever he said my name until I felt like I could use my voice again.

"Uh," I cleared my throat, hating how raspy it sounded, "That's the girl I told you about. She was my Thomas, kind of. She was my best friend in there. I can tell Tommy means something... more to you. Leya was that to me. She was there for me, right from the start. Every step of the way. When I decided that I wanted to be a runner, she stood beside me. Volunteering herself as well. And... I can't help believe if I'd never roped her into it..." I didn't have to go on, Newt knew exactly what I was talking about.

"No, Sephora, don't do that to yourself. You can't do that to yourself. If we were to all start blaming ourselves for everything WICKED put us through, we'd have all died of guilt by now, trust me. You can't do that... because if you're the reason she died, surely I could have saved Winston? I could have kept going and not given him the gun. O-or Alby. I could have jumped in to help Chuck instead of him. He's be here today then. Or Chuck - I could have-"

I cut the boy off, "Newt, please. I get it, I know. I'm sorry... I know I can't blame myself for everything... I'm just," I sighed, taking hold of the boys hand reassuringly, "I'm working on it, okay? I'm trying."