After pain // Bakugou Katsuki

Week Nineteen + 1

It took a bit for my eyes to unstick from sleeping. Once I sat up I took in my surroundings and saw it was still dark, likely very early in the morning. Below me, the group laid on the floor and curled up, using their coats as pillows. It looked so strange that it was sad that they went through all this effort to stay one night when they could have literally visited the next day if they wanted to.

What was the point?

I leaned over the bar of my bed and stood close to them, being careful to not wake anyone up. I couldn't let them catch me. I had to act now, I had to do something. I would no longer be waking up each day to suffer, I could finally put an end to it!  Snoring hit my ears as I tip toed past the group and gently held on the doorknob as I tugged the door open and then moved behind it, slowly closing it so it wouldn't slam shut. In the burning lit hallway, I turned back and forth to check the hallways were clear before trending down it with my bare feet. When I saw an elevator, I hopped inside and pressed for the highest floor. It closed and I sighed in relief for not getting caught yet.

The plan was basic, a way out, final peace. I was going to locate the roof and then jump. I was tired, I wanted to sleep forever. And it made me comfortable in knowing everyone would be okay, my friends showed it. I knew I didn't belong here. I wasn't meant to be alive, not anymore. I wasn't human like the rest.

The elevator dinged and the door opened, I leaned to check if I could see any staff and the area seemed empty as it also had no lighting. I slowly walked down, letting my eyes adjust to the rapid change in lighting. I barged into a trolley and cussed as I held my foot. It hurt bad and I took a minute in sucking up the pain before continuing. I pushed through different doors, hoping to find one that would lead me to the balcony. Most didn't open or were offices. I was starting to get frustrated and it seemed all the doors were checked.

Disappointment washed over me as I realised the plan was a failure, it didn't seem like I would be leaving any time soon. As I reached the elevator, I paused and then turned around. I ran towards one of the doors that did open and it was a closet. Inside, it held cleaning supplies. My only chance surrounded me but it would taste disgusting -- I'd just have to power through. I've been suffering for much longer than this so I know I can handle it. I grabbed a bottle of some liquid as it had a spray nozzle at the top. I screwed the lid of and began to chug it like a milkshake. I was about halfway when I gagged and felt my throat burn, it fucking hurt. I clawed at my throat, falling to the ground. Nothing could describe the burning sensations taking over my body it was paralysing. I reached my hand out to grab whatever was nearby and found a tub. With my consciousness leaving, I forced the lid off and tried to consume as much powder as I could. My eyes closed, with the peaceful smile that I was going to where I belonged.

The moments ticked by as the end came and I thought about all the people I knew. My parents had each other and I'll always love them but I knew they deserved better than me. Deku... I'm glad I made peace with him before I went. And for my friends, they'll finally be free. And to whoever reads this diary I wrote, you won't have to put up with my drama anymore. I'm also sorry if you didn't know. The doctors will eventually find my body here.

My final Flashback was when I was with my friends, exactly two years ago before covid began. We were at Kirishima's birthday party and we sat in his garden on a large blanket. It was time for him to open my gift and he gasped at the Red Riot figurine, pulling me into a hug. To others, it seems small but I'll always remember that joy. The joy I actually gave him. I made someone happy and I wouldn't forget it, not now, not when I'm dead. Goodbye Kirishima.