I have no idea where the fucking month of June has gone!!!
it's finally a bit cooler tonight, for the first time since the beginning of June. i am totally planning on using the cool breeze tonight and the weather forecast tomorrow as the perfect excuse to finally sit my ass down and update my books.
truth is, i have been itching to. but all my devices are in a near-meltdown state, due to the excessive heat in my room.
i am not sure how my heart and lungs are still functioning, but... experience has provided ample proof that i am notoriously hard to kill.
i miss writing, even though my fingers and wrists hurt like hell. i think this pain would be now permanent, and will stay with me, for the rest of my days. but it is so heart-breaking, the way my books are going on in my head, and there is no one out here, to type down the poetry of my words, just write simple words down...
no one. if not me - there is no one else. i am all alone.
on most days, i am all alone in the universe.
there will be a huge storm tomorrow, one can easily tell even without watching the news. it had hit the north-western part of the country today, and people say it was horrible. there is martial law there now, as far as i know, imposed so that the authorities can take care of the damage.
this is coming for us tomorrow.
the storm will bring coolness, and i am glad. the laptop won't be burning my legs any more, as i am typing my shitty books down.
i think this is the new normal. excessive heatwaves, weeks and weeks of those, and then - monsoon season, destroying property, roads, even the land.
this is the new normal, the End of Times normal. it's here, fully.
one day, there will be the ultimate storm too, to erase it all, better than the lame Grand Flood from Noah's times. this time, it has to be forever. no survivors. none are needed.
i am old. lately, half my writing, as i talk to no one, is about the weather. the irony.
~
my night-sky, nine-tail Kitsune is healing nicely, on the other hand. my body seems to be observing laws of its own, and, as it often turns out, i am healing much faster on the outside as long as my inside is bleeding.
oh, but it's all bleeding, all the time. most of all - my heart.
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