That's gay × taekook

18

Jungkook usually loved to be right. He took pride in it every time it occured (partly because it rarely did). However, this was the one time he hated it.

While he did consider his hangout with Mingyu....productive... helpful even; he didn't stop telling himself that he regretted it. He regretted it because he needed to do it in order to sort out his thoughts and feelings.

Turns out he was right to regret it.

"Jungkook, answer me." Taehyung's voice had an edge to it that made Jungkook avert his eyes. He pushed the younger off and stood up, crossing his arms over his chest with a frown.

Jungkook stared at a random spot on the ground. It was fine to just say what happened, right? It's not like Taehyung had any right to say anything about it. They weren't exclusive. Hell, Jungkook only accepted the option that he liked him a few seconds ago.

Even so, his mouth couldn't form the words.

"Jungkook, I swear to fucking god, if you don't—"

"The other day," Jungkook started, already hating what he was about to say. "When we got that reading from Soojin, I said I kissed someone before."

"Yeah, we had...." Taehyung trailed off, realizing what he was implying. "You didn't mean us."

Despite the situation, Jungkook felt himself blush. Us. Fuck, this was so weird. Even with his past girlfriends, he hadn't felt this kind of tension. He loved them, but their fights were over petty nothings. He had never cheated on anyone. In this situation, he awfully felt like he did.

Which was the main reason for his confusion! He was not together with Taehyung! Why was he feeling so guilty?

"No.." he muttered. "I hung out with someone the day before."

Taehyung didn't react. That alone was more than enough to show how angry he was. Jungkook found himself wondering briefly if he'd ever seen him this angry, especially at him of all people. Scary was an understatement to how the older was acting.

"Who?"

A simple question. Jungkook couldn't fucking answer it.

He didn't want Mingyu to be involved in this. And it was clear Taehyung would think about confronting the other boy if he knew.

"It was no one. Just a random person."

Taehyung chuckled dryly. "Another nameless girl who just approached you, huh. And you stupidly followed her lead again. Did she also give you that bracelet you've been wearing?"

"That's from my cousin. And what's it to you?" Jungkook looked up to meet his eyes. What was that supposed to mean?

"What's it to me?!" Taehyung raised his voice. "You're my best friend! I care about you!"

"You never cared about my relationships like this before." Or lack there-of.

"This wasn't a relationship. You just went out once and fucked! And you don't even know her name, like the one on New Year's Eve. And I am sure she approached you because that's how it is with you! You don't fucking care about anything. You take everything as an opportunity to prove yourself, or to prove to yourself that you're capable of getting laid."

How dare he? How could he stand there and talk about Jungkook not caring when all he'd done since Christmas was overthink about whatever was going on between the two of them?

"Shut up," he snarled. He didn't want to fight. He so didn't want to fight.

"No, Jungkook. How the fuck can you keep taking up every damn offer a girl makes to you without thinking twice about what you actually want? You want to please them all, but you are not feeling anything else besides a sense of duty to them. Have you ever felt attracted to someone in a way other than physically?"

A shaky breath left Jungkook's lips. What..? "It's not your fucking business! I do whatever I want, whether it's fucking someone, be together with someone; I do it because I want to! I've had girlfriends before, I've kissed random people before. It has never been a problem. And this time... you have no idea what I've been through recently."

"Jungkook, I know everything about you. I know you better than I know myself," Taehyung said sharply.

"No, Taehyung, you don't!" he shouted.

Taehyung's mouth snapped shut.

"You're the reason I've been confused this whole time. You made me ask myself stuff I didn't ever think about before. These past weeks I've been telling myself that I must be insane," Jungkook's voice cracked at the last word. "So maybe I want to be useful to people. Maybe I think that by not refusing them, I'm a good person and they're more attracted to me. Maybe I do it for attention, but this time I—!" he gestured with his hands helplessly. "The other night, I did it so I could have some help to figure myself out." Not Taehyung's help, it was implied.

The words hung between them in the silence that followed. This was their first ever fight. The first serious one, at least. Jungkook felt so exposed now that he said everything. Damn him for not being good with words. He had said everything, but he was sure he could have done better, could have spelled it out differently.

Taehyung's fists were clenched at his sides, eyes slightly widened. He was clenching his jaw as tightly as his fists, staring at Jungkook, who was just sitting there on the bed, eyes cast down at his hands in his lap.

This wasn't how today was supposed to go at all. Actually, he had no idea how it was supposed to go, but he never really cared about that before. When they kissed, Jungkook just wanted the rest of the day to go like—

"Get out."

The younger's head jerked up. "What?"

"Go home, Jungkook." Taehyung was pinching the bridge of his nose, eyes shut.

"Taehyung, I—"

"Leave. Now."

No. That's not— he couldn't mean... No, you know what? Fine. Jungkook stood up, glaring at the other and bumping his shoulder into his while storming off. He strided to the front door, ignoring the surprised squeak Taehyung's mother let out when she saw him. She called his name, but he couldn't care less. He had to get out of there.

Thankfully, no one was in the living room or in the kitchen when he got home. He took off his shoes in a hurry and raced up to his room, shutting the door without much force.

Once he was in his bed, Jungkook took a deep breath. What the hell just happened? Did this mean that their friendship was over? There was no way they could just go on with their lives together after this fight. But it hadn't been what he intended when he said those words. He didn't...

Jungkook belatedly realized he was clutching something in his hand. When he let go, the tiger plushie fell down with a silent thump, rolling into a position that faced Jungkook.

He frowned at the green eyes as if they were mocking him. As if it was his friend mocking him. His best friend.

A tear fell down his cheek, a sign for many others to come out in a few seconds. With a strangled sniffle, Jungkook buried his face in his hands, throat and eyes burning. Something in his chest hurt so bad it was like he had been stabbed. "Fuck."