Apologies after breaking heart ♡︎

Chapter 18: I feel Sorry

First pov:

"Just leave me alone Khaotung.... You're drunk" i told him without looking at him and turning my face away from him.

"But...." He wanted to say something. I was scared.

Im really scared ... He's drunk... What if... What if he rapes me again.

I do trust Khaotung when he's sober but drunk Khaotung is worse than a beast.

I still remember the wedding day... It's like a nightmare for me.

Everything was fine until he was sober. He treats me like a princess. But ..... When he was drunk....

Those drunk dark eyes, those aggressiveness, the way he flipped me and kept fucking me until I was sore and bleeding.... I was pleading to him but he didn't listen.

It were still on my mind. I don't know why .... When Khaotung is drunk he looks scary. Im scared of him so much that I was shaking. I was still looking away.

What if he don't leaves and vent out his anger by fucking me because he god abused.

But instead.... He went out without saying anything and closed the door.

I was shocked.

Isn't Khaotung drunk? Wait... Yes he was for sure I was able to smell him. He was smelling.... He was... His eyes looked drunk and dark.

Did he just leave me alone because I said.

It was hard to believe. I was still trembling from the nightmare I had about my father and now I'm scared of Khaotung. But....

Wait a minute.... I, I just now had a nightmare and.... Khaotung tried to comfort me?

He was drunk. It's hard to believe him when he's drunk i know, but... Just look at the thing nicely again.

I had a nightmare and even though Khao himself he knows that it's hard for him to control still he tried his best to control his emotions and tried to comfort me instead despite his own condition.

Shit.... Did I just ignored the fact that he got abused a few hours ago!? What the hell have I done?

He must already be feeling so lonely, down, worse.... Me must be so sad and depressed and I added more saddness and hurt to his already new scar?

Please... What the shit did I just do!?? Why am I so bad with taking decisions? Why? Just why?

Oh god at this point I want to slap myself. I hate myself for this now.

I was so much drown in my thoughts... Looking at the blank wall infront of me and drowning myself with all the ocean of emotions and shits I just did right now to my caring and loving husband.

I slowly got up from the bed and washed my face. All the things came back to me.... The way he controlled himself when he was drunk on the day I was sick, the way he just now cared for me, the way he said he likes me....

God just why have I done this?

I was crying and crying. Even though I washed my face many times in the sink but still tears were dropping off..

"Instead of crying here i should go to him and console him. Crying here won't solve everything" my inner self said this to me.

I wiped my face and went out. I checked the other bedrooms in our house, there were many.

But Khaotung can't be found.

At last I checked the guest room too but he was not there. Now I'm scared... What if he did something wrong-