Behind Every Pages

Chapter Twenty:

Lestari

I don't know what will happen to us now that our father is gone. Ang laki ng mansyon pero matagal nang wala ang ilaw nito, ngayon pati ang haligi ay wala na rin.

Who will be our guiding light when the world becomes too dark, when it's shrouded in darkness due to problems, when we can't see our path ahead, when our future seems uncertain? Who will protect us from danger, from pain, from evil?

If those who should have been our support are the ones causing our current struggles. Because of them.

Alam kong hindi kami masamang mga anak, so it's incredibly painful to think they have put us through this. They didn't even consider us in their decisions and actions.

"Do you not want me here?" Luther smiled softly as he passed by me in my room. Ibinaba niya ang kahon na hawak, presumably containing his belongings, as he returned to the mansion.

"Not like that, I just have something on my mind," I replied. He sat beside me.

"I am here. I will not leave you again." his words surprised me. I turned to him with teary eyes. "Stop crying all the time. Promise me you won't cry so easily if you're not truly hurt." he also turned to me with teary eyes.

"B-but it really hurts," I replied. Tears fell, and I quickly wiped them away.

"You're crying because I said I won't leave you? You're really crazy, Ate," he chuckled.

"It hurts because it's just the two of us left for each other. Just the two of us to protect each other. Mommy and Daddy are gone, and it pains me to think they're gone, leaving just the two of us." I spoke through tears, bowing my head as I felt ugly when crying.

The pain is overwhelming, and Luther is too young for this. He still faces many challenges that require a companion, a parent. He has many decisions ahead that need guidance.

"Even if it's just the two of us, you are enough for me, Ate. That's why we will never leave here. We will never leave each other, promise me," he extended his pinky finger for a pinky swear. I smiled as I joined in the promise.

Bumaba na kami ng kusina nang tawagin kami ni Ate Florence para kumain. Ate Florence and Kuya Alistair were the only ones left, as our helpers had departed when Daddy was imprisoned. We even received hurtful and judgmental words from them, but Ate Florence defended us.

From then until now, they really stood as my second parents. They didn't have children, but they say I am enough as their own. It feels really good that at least someone stayed with us. They didn't judge us and didn't leave.

Nakahingi na rin ako ng tawad kay Ate Florence tungkol sa mga sinabi ko sa kaniya noon, pero siya ang humingi ng tawad dahil hindi raw dapat siya nagsalita ng ganoon sa akin lalo pa't naguguluhan ako noon.

Kuya Alistair mentioned finding a job to cover our expenses and education. Although Daddy left us money, Kuya Alistair advised against using it, suspecting it may be tainted by wrongdoing. Our conscience couldn't bear to spend money obtained through dishonest means.

Hindi pa rin ako pumapasok sa school. Naiintindihan naman daw nila ako na kailangan ko pa ng panahon. Wala akong balita kay Ezra dahil wala naman akong cellphone para kumausap sa kaniya, pero hindi katulad dati, may tiwala na ako ngayon na hindi siya galit at naiintindihan niya ako. Ilang beses niyang pinatunayan iyon sa mga panahong bigla-bigla na lang akong walang paramdam. Kung iniisip ko na galit siya at hindi na ako kinausap, ilang beses akong nagkamali dahil lagi siyang naghihintay para sa akin, lagi niya akong iniintindi.

"Thank you po," I said to Ate Florence after eating. I excused myself to go back to my room and read.

I felt the urge to immerse myself in reading once more, seeking solace from the heaviness of reality. I delved into Ezonme's historical fiction book, losing track of time until I reached the thirty-eighth chapter where the man penned his heartfelt words to his beloved.

Mahal kita ng wagas, at ang bawat sandali na kasama kita ay isang biyayang hindi mapapantayan. Aking hinihiling na magpatuloy ang pagbibigay liwanag at saya ng iyong kagandahan sa aking mundo.

Nangungulila at nagmamahal,
Gabriel Dimayuga

Natigil na lang ako sa pagbabasa nang may kumatok sa kwarto ko. Si Kuya Alistair pala.

"Anong kailangan mo ginoo? bakit ka naparito sa aking silid ng ganitong oras?" I chuckled as I had adapted too much to the way the lady in Ezonme's story spoke.

"Lesty," parang sinasaway ako ni Kuya Alistair dahil pagod na siya sa mga biro ko.

"Maaari mo akong tawagin sa aking ngalan ngunit nararapat lamang na iyo ako'y igalang at gumamit ka naman ng Binibini bago banggitin ang aking pangalan, ginoo," masungit kong sabi habang kunwari'y pumapaypay ng abaniko.

"Paumahin kung ganoon, Binibining Lestari," napangiti ako nang sumakay siya sa trip ko.

"Isa pa, ginoo, hindi naaayon ang iyong aktong magtungo sa aking silid dahil ako ay isang binibini. Hindi ito kaaya-aya sa mata ng mga tao,"

"Tumigil ka na nga Lesty, may bisita ka." That's when I snapped out of it. I looked at the clock and saw that it was already early morning.

"At this hour?" I asked.

"Bumaba ka na, naghihintay siya sa hardin ng iyong ina," I hesitated because I wasn't ready to go there yet. It's still too painful. But I had no choice. I just grabbed a jacket before going down.

I walked out of the mansion, and even though I was wearing a jacket and my pajamas, I was still feeling cold. I immediately turned to the back part of the mansion to enter the golden gate that divides the garden and the mansion. It wasn't locked because our previous helpers still took care of it by watering the plants.

A gentle lamplight illuminated the surroundings, casting a warm glow. Lights along the path guided the way, leading to a secluded corner of the garden. This spot held sentimental value, where I used to spend time with my mother, surrounded by her favorite pink roses.

"May tao ba dito?" tanong ko. Hindi pa ako pumapasok sa loob ng pahingahan dahil natatakot ako. A faint silhouette hinted at a presence, sending a shiver down my spine. "B-bakit naman kasi ngayon mo naisipang magtungo rito ng ganitong oras, hindi ito naaayon, kung sino ka man" in character pa rin ako. Mas may attitude kasi talaga kapag nasa character ako ni Binibining Rosa, ang bida ng libro ni Ezonme.

But no one answered. I was so scared and ready to walk back. I'll just lock the gate so that the person couldn't escape, and we could catch them tomorrow if they were up to no good.

"Nais kong ipaalam saiyo, kung sino ka man, na hindi ako nakakaramdam ng kahit na anong takot laban saiyo. Duwag ka siguro? Puwes ako'y lalabas na, tse," mataray akong tumalikod at naglakad na palabas nang mahinto ako dahil may nagsalita na sa wakas.

"Paumanhin kung hindi ako makaugapay, Binibini. Ako'y mistulang napipe at nabingi dahil sa iyong kagandahan."