Part 4 | Break The Surface

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January 1, 2023

Something felt weird. I wasn't drowning anymore, I didn't feel pain. Something or someone was holding me. I was floating in a golden light of...sunshine? I couldn't even describe what the feeling was. But it felt warm, safe, like home. I felt the same way I did when I woke up in Aria's guest bedroom.

My eyes were fluttering open again, first hearing a light humming sound and a tingling feeling running through my hair. I opened my eyes to see Aria sitting on the couch, my head resting on a pillow in her lap. She was soothingly running her fingers through my hair, humming along to a familiar tune I couldn't place at the moment.

"Wha-what happened?" I ask, sitting up. 

Aria gave me a sad smile. "Charles you had a pretty bad panic attack. I laid you down and tried to calm you down by running my fingers through your hair. Sometimes physical touch centers people who are experiencing a panic attack. Are you okay?"

I fully stood up, embarrassed over what transpired over the past twenty-four hours. I hadn't had a panic in two weeks and this made me realize, maybe I do need help. I could no longer avoid the situation I was in. I was already avoiding my PR manager and Mattia for skipping the WDC gala...not to mention, most of my friends on the grid. I then realized, how did Aria know about what centers someone after a panic attack? Had she experienced them before?

"Charles, whatever it is that's bothering you...you don't have to tell me. But it would make me feel a lot better if you did talk to someone about it. You are carrying so much on your shoulders, which isn't healthy for you or those around you. I hope I'm not speaking out of boundaries here. You smile and say you're okay to the world but your eyes don't lie, something is bothering you beneath the surface. It's likely the reason for last  nights turn of events."

"You don't know me" I barked back, louder than I had anticipated. How could she so easily tell everything I put out there was a facade? That deep down I was screaming for help, hoping someone could hear me? 

Aria was startled, slightly flinching at my response to her. Her face morphed from concern to sadness and I instantly felt guilty for being the reason. "I'm...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to respond like that. It's just...it's been hard year."

"It's...it's okay Charles. I just want the best for you. I know we don't really know each other, but from the little I do know about you...you're a loving person who goes above and beyond for the people he cares about."

Here this stranger was, wanting what was best for me, giving me the hope no one else in my life could at the moment. We sat there in a slightly awkward silence and I felt like I should probably head back to my own apartment, as I've overstayed my welcome. Last nights escapades were a sign. It needed to happen, it made me realize things needed to change. 

"Listen, Aria...I want to thank you again for everything last night. There is truly no way I could ever repay you. It's rare to meet such genuine souls and you're one of them."

"Charles you don't have-"

"No, please let me finish. You made me realize something through this whole encounter. I'm sick of wallowing in self pity and drinking my problems away. If I'm going to take on a new season and new challenges I need to rid myself of the old ones first. Last night I truly hit rock and I'm confident things can get better from here, but I need to try."

"But are you ok-"

Interrupting her again, I smacked my body into hers, engulfing my arms around her small frame. There was that vanilla and honey scent again, the same from the guest bed. She stood there for a second, before returning the hug. Part of me wanted to stand there all day, in her warm embrace. I knew what I had to do and I had to start now. I pulled away and quickly said another thank you before grabbing my shoes from the hallway and sprinting towards the door. I was officially a man on a mission. 

"Charles wait... you le-"

It was too late as I'd already shut the door behind me, avoiding the elevator and rushing towards the staircase. Each step down the stairs was another promise to myself. Today would mark the new me. The world wasn't ready to see me again for a while, not until I pulled myself out of the darkness that whispered sweet nothings into my ear, tempting me to sink further in. 

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

Author's Note: Things are gonna move slower for only 3-4 more chapters before we speed it up! Thanks for everyone reading/voting/commenting ❤️ 

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