Eyes Don't Lie | Charles Leclerc

Part 10 | Ma Chérie

January 28th, 2023

As I stood in my kitchen, preparing coffee for Aria, I couldn't help but feel a certain heaviness lingering in the air. I hadn't been back to my own apartment home the entire month, hiding away in my childhood home, in fear of being seen. The once familiar warmth of the small apartment, felt so distant now. 

I was grateful Aria had accepted my invitation. I texted her the invitation, rather quickly after seeing her in the market and today was a day that worked well with our schedules. Our unexpected run in at the market sparked a new motivation in me, a motivation to return to my social self. I had regretfully distanced myself from lots of my hometown friends and I wanted to work on that. This was the beginning. 

As the coffee brewed, I glanced out the window, my eyes squinting from the sunlight pouring in, almost angelically. This apartment had always been my safe place, a reminder of where I came from. But now, even that comfort seemed to slip through my fingers.

I heard the ringer go off, meaning she was here. I buzzed her into my building, leaving the front door slightly ajar for her to come in. After a few moments, I heard the front door creak open and the sound of her shoes clacking against the wooden floors. My heart leaped into my throat. 

"Alo? Charles?" her voice called out softly. There was something reassuring about hearing it, in my apartment. It felt...weirdly right.

"In the kitchen," I replied, trying to mask the anxiety in my voice.

She appeared in the doorway, offering a small smile. She looked around, "this is a beautiful apartment Charles."

"Thank you," I said, turning back to the coffee maker. "I'll be just another second, please make yourself comfortable."

Aria pulled out one of the chairs at the table, seating herself while her eyes traced along the walls with memories of simpler times. I heard her giggle softly, her eyes landing on a framed photo of me and Arthur, wrestling over a red toy race car. I suppressed my own laugh, in fear that it would lead to tears. 

I poured two cups and handed her one, watching as she wrapped her hands around it, her nails painted red. I smiled to myself at the coincidence. I joined her at the kitchen table, and for a moment, there was only silence between us. Not the uncomfortable kind, but the kind that feels necessary, an unspoken understanding that words would come when they were ready.

She was the first to break it. "I brought something for you." She reached into her bag and pulled out a small, black notepad. It was my notepad.

I froze. I had left it at her apartment a few weeks ago when I had rushed out, overwhelmed by my own thoughts and desire to turn a new leaf. I hadn't meant to leave it behind, and now seeing it again, a pit formed in my stomach.

"I found this after you left," she said gently, placing it on the table between us. "I didn't read it all, but from what I did see... Charles, I'm worried about you."

I swallowed hard, staring at the notepad. It held everything I had been too afraid to say out loud...my fears, my doubts, my anger at myself. It was a window into my darkest moments, and she had seen it.

"I don't even know where to begin," I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. "It's just... it's been a lot."

She reached across the table, her hand finding mine. Her touch was comforting, grounding me in the moment. "You don't have to go through it alone, you know. I'm here, even if we don't really know each other too well, yet. You've got people who care about you."

I nodded, but the words didn't come. How could I explain the weight that had settled on my shoulders, the feeling that no matter how hard I tried, I was never good enough? That every mistake on the track felt like a personal failure, a confirmation of the doubts I had about myself?

She didn't push. Instead, she opened the notebook, flipping to a page filled with scrawled, chaotic thoughts. Words like failure, disappointment, not enough stared back at me. Seeing them now, through her eyes, made me feel exposed, vulnerable in a way I hadn't anticipated.

"I know you're going through a tough time," she said quietly. "But Charles, these thoughts... they're not who you are. They can't be. You've always seemed so determined, so passionate. That's the Charles everyone knows."

"But what if I'm not enough?" I blurted out, the question that had haunted me for months. "What if I can't handle this? What if this was all a mistake?"

She squeezed my hand, her eyes meeting mine, making my heart clench. "You are enough, Charles. And Ferrari wasn't a mistake. You were meant to be there, just like you were meant to face these challenges. But that doesn't mean you have to face them alone."

I looked away, blinking back the stinging of tears. I hadn't realized how badly I needed to hear those words until now.

"Sometimes," she continued, her voice soft, "people go through dark times. It doesn't mean you're weak, and it doesn't mean you're failing. It just means you're human. And the good times? They'll come again. I believe in that, and I believe in you."

I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. "Thank you," I managed to say. "I don't know where I'd be without you. And we've only just met."

She smiled, a genuine, comforting smile that made me feel like maybe, just maybe, I could find my way out of this darkness. "You'll get through this, Charles," she said, her hand still resting on mine. "And when you do, you'll be stronger for it. But for now, it's okay to lean on the people who care about you."

"I also have something else for you." I watched as Aria reached into her bag again, pulling out an identical notepad. She slid it towards me silently. 

"What's this?"

"A 2023 version of your notepad. A chance to re-write history and make this year the best one yet. I even wrote your first entry for you."

I gulped, nervously fumbling the notepad open to the first page, my eyes rapidly reading over the words written in black ink, the words Aria had written. I blinked back more tears, one of which landed onto the page, staining it.

Monaco, 2023
Today is the first new day of the year, the first day of my new self.
I will persevere. I will accomplish my goals. I will ask for help.
I am surrounded by support. I am loved. I am a good race driver.
I am Charles Leclerc. I can do anything.

"This...this means so much to me, Aria. Despite the way we had our encounter, I am so grateful to have met you."

"Me too Charles, me too" she said, a huge smile spreading across her face. 

I looked around the kitchen, at the walls that had seen me grow from a teenager into a man, and for the first time in a long time, I felt a sense of peace. Maybe she was right. Maybe I wasn't as alone as I had convinced myself I was.

As we sat there, sipping coffee and talking about everything and nothing, I realized that sometimes, the simple things...like a conversation with a friend, could make all the difference in the world. I never wanted this day to end.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

Author's Note: Guys I'm obsessed with Aria, she's such a sunshine. ❤️