My Diary

Wonderful (sarcastically)

I just lost my great friend. He's 19 and from Australia. He blocked me and unadded me after he went through a server (he had access to my account which he was supposed to change my profile picture or server profile pictures) I told him not to look through a specific server I told him that he wouldn't like it (He saw explicit pictures) (but his curiosity took over. It was something between someone else and I not him to get involved with. So, I was locking up the dogs for the night and he has called me but I missed it. He knew that I was locking up the dogs. 

nina — Today at 3:03 PM

hey, so i want a girl to try this so basically i like being controlled and ordered i want to kinda be a slave to a girl, ill do anything she asks me to for example, if she asks me to get naked and stand in front of the window for 2 minutes ill do it, theres almost no limit to the tasks u can give me and i must complete them giving u all the power, and ill have to prove them by taking pics whenever u order me to u wana try? i can send u the list of things i did for my ex doms if ur interested

PLEASE reply if ur even a little bit interested

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Sounds to me you unfortunately picked bad friends that are not patient with you and your problems. Finding the correct friends that will be with you no matter what you're going through and how long you're going through it. From what I've read, it seems that people just didn't appreciate your kindness, and you shouldn't blame yourself for it, because you didn't fit someone's image, embrace who you are and not who you're not. Life has its ups and downs, but you pushed through before, you just have to keep going until you find that one person that will care for you just as you care for them, and I'm sure you'll find other amazing friends as well, its just a matter of time. I wish I could help you more, but we don't know each other, but I wish you the best of luck and love, and hopefully you feel better soon enough. Remember that there's nothing wrong with you being who you are. 🫶

I don't think you understand how free I feel right now. I'm no longer left to wonder what your intentions were with me. When you'd message me at random hours of the day. When you'd reach out just to tell me to join the call. When you'd reply to my stories and try and peep through the curtains of my life I tried to desperately shut you away from. I don't think you understand how free I feel right now. 

I guess after years of me questioning and building up the courage to ask. You shut it down on my face, it's crazy how you can make the girl you never left alone feel as if she's begging for you. And yes, it might have been a while since you did all that. But despite when we didn't speak, I still saw you. I still saw you. And yes, I have grown so much since we last spoke. Don't you dare think I reached out to you due to desperation or begging for friendship. No, I did not. I reached out after eight months of not talking.

And as much as I hate being vulnerable with people, stupid little me tested the waters by letting you know to say I wasn't left shaking non-stop for ten minutes; to say I wasn't in denial, to say I am not fearful you will pass around a narrative to your friends that makes me look bad would be a lie. I am so fearful, and a little heart broken. 

I didn't think you'd act like this after all this time. I didn't think you'd do this to me. I thought it would be good for me to reach out, considering you accepted requesting you. I did everything in my power to not sound needy. I never thought that you would turn ice cold towards me.

And it's funny how childish a person can be. You actually blocked me right now after the message I sent as a means of figuring out what was going on because yes it's been hard for me. It's been hard for me to forget about the person who did his best to be a part of my life.