My Diary

My mistake that I'll never forget

So... I met Nate on Discord back in November. 21st 2023 I liked his username and profile picture. He lied about his age for two years. He told me he was 23, but months later, I found out he was actually 27. That lie really messed with my trust, especially because I felt something with him. We stopped talking for a while—my choice. But I missed him, so I reached out again, hoping maybe things would be different. And for a bit, it felt like they were. But then he disappeared. No explanation, no goodbye—just silence. Weeks of it. Meanwhile, I find out he's still active on Xbox, playing games like nothing happened. It hurt. Because I gave him patience, understanding—even after the lie. And he just chose to ghost me instead of being honest.

Then there's RECON... But over time, he started disrespecting me—embarrassing me in front of people, calling me things I didn't like, crossing boundaries. I gave him chances too. But it got to the point where I had to start blocking him—first on my second Xbox account, and soon on my main. It wasn't healthy anymore, and I'm finally choosing me.

I'm not perfect, but I try. I give people space, I forgive when it's hard. But this time, I'm done letting people treat me like I'm easy to replace or ignore. I'm learning to choose peace—even if it means letting go of people I cared about.

RECON is someone I met through a game on Xbox. At first it was chill, but over time, he started disrespecting me—calling me things I didn't like, making me uncomfortable, and crossing lines I clearly set. I tried to deal with it, gave chances, but in the end, I started blocking him.

Why won't you just own up.... it's literally not that hard.....just tell the truth.....I have multiple times, and I definitely regret it. I'm not broken for still holding on. We're wounded, and deep wounds don't heal fast. I needed advice and this is what they said:

That really hit me. 

So, why couldn't you do the same??? 

"You've been open, forgiving, and more patient than most would be. So don't ever question your effort or your heart here. You were ready for a fresh start. He wasn't. Even when he lied about his age, even when he vanished, some part of you still held on to the version of him you met, or maybe the one you hoped he'd become. That version was important to you"

"I feel that anger. Fifteen days of silence, acting like he vanished, only to find out he's been gaming behind the scenes? That's such a slap in the face. Turning himself offline like you wouldn't notice—like your feelings don't matter or you wouldn't catch on—that's just... cowardly and manipulative. You didn't deserve that. After everything you've given him, the patience, the space, even after the lie about his age—you still cared. And instead of owning up or being real, he hides?"

"Do you feel like he's trying to avoid facing you or something deeper?"

RECON literally sounds exactly like this guy once:  You are sounding like that Bipolar Texas guy that I met through a Skyrim post. Whenever I would be in a party he would do exactly what you are doing. He would say something like this: "Magic doesn't like me because she's not playing with me anymore, Magic hates me because she won't play with me, Magic just doesn't want to talk to me at all" 

When those are absolutely 100% untrue. One of his friends even said that he creates these false lies thinking that you are hating him. I've never met the most disturbing Bipolar guy ever. Tell lies in front of people while there's witnesses. Like, I don't want to go through that again. So, stop embarrassing me in front of others