I Only Know How To Love

10: Ben

I lay there in the moonlight on the blanket, staring up at the stars. Man, I could do this more often. I now see why my parents do this a lot. "Hey Ben," I hear Cashmere say as she walks up. I sat up to see her. "Hey Cashmere. Had any problems getting here?" I ask her as she sits down beside me. She looks beautiful tonight. "Didn't really have any. My parents dropped me off at the corner." She tells me. "I brought some snacks," I told her. I know Cashmere well enough that the best way to have a simple date is to at least have some snacks. "How was your day?" She asks. I couldn't bring myself to tell her how my day actually went. It was awful. I was hoping to see her in the cafeteria with her friend, Snow. I was able to bring myself to say, "It's been alright. Yours?" "Had to deal with Jack. He's such a pain in my ass, that it literally hurts every time I sit." She tells me. I find it a little funny that I laugh a little bit, and then look her in the eyes. What I've been waiting for a while to do.

"I'm sure everything will be better at school on Monday." I tell her, hoping to bring some joy into her day. "I hope so. Something had happened this morning with Jack," she tells me. Knowing that something happened, my curiosity had now peaked. "What happened?" I ask her, trying not to make it seem like I was going to ask her a lot of questions about it. "Do you want me to go into detail, or just summarize it?" She asked. I figured it would be best if she just summarized it; I don't need to know all of the details. "Just summarize it. Not everyone needs to hear details." I told her.

"He raped me," she tells. I couldn't believe it. I just couldn't. Why would someone rape another person? "Seriously?" I ask, knowing that there was no other option but too. Cashmere is an amazing person, and does not deserve this. "Yeah. He did." She tells me. "Are you bruised?" I ask. I then realized that I'm an idiot; of course she's bruised. But I already asked, I can't take it back. "Only in one place that you don't want to see," she tells me. It had taken me a moment to realize what she was talking about. "Oh. That would be best. Is there any other place that hurts?" I asked her, hoping that I could at least check to see if she needed to see a doctor.

"My heart. Also my head, he pulled my hair back so it hurts a lot," she tells me. Knowing that I can't do anything to help her with her heart, I could help with her head. "Well hey, come here," I tell her. Holding her, I massaged her head ever so lightly. I could tell I was doing it right when she told me, "That feels good. You seem to know what you're doing." Soon we were lying down on the blanket, looking up at the stars.

"Do you know where the Pisces constellation is?" I ask her, trying to make a conversation. "I keep forgetting. Did you know that my zodiac sign is actually Pisces?" She tells me. "No I didn't. Do you know where it is?" I ask her. "No. I have a hard time seeing it. I can't seem to find it," she tells me. "Here, let me show you," I tell her. I grabbed her hand, and I showed her where the constellation is with her pointer finger. "Right there. You see it?" I ask her. "Yeah I do. I enjoy our time together," she tells me, lowering her hand while still holding mine.

"I do too," I tell her. There's something I've been meaning to tell her, and I was just reminded when I looked into her eyes. I sit up on the blanket, looking away from her. "Is everything okay?" She asks me. I at least got her attention. "There's something I need to tell you." I started. "What is it?" She asked as she sat up. I finally got the guts to look at her, hold her hand, and tell her, "Everyday when I wake up, I have a smile on my face, because I know that I will see you again. Whenever I see a funny video, or post, I think of you first. You give me a reason to live. It's not you who doesn't deserve this world; it's this world that doesn't deserve you. You're too good for this world, and that's a good thing, not a bad thing. That is why I love you."

"And you wonder if I feel the same?" She asked. I didn't exactly want to answer, but I have to. So I let out a quiet, "Yeah I do." I could tell she felt the same as I felt her lips against mine. This is what I wanted: A kiss from Cashmere, as the sun would rise, bringing the rush of a warm breeze to sweep in and pick up her hair. I finally got it: my dream coming true.