I Only Know How To Love

16: Alex

I couldn't wait to talk to Cashmere about the day I was having. It was going so well, I don't really know how it could get worse. 8:13 was the time when I noticed that she wasn't there. I was starting to get a little worried. She should be here. I see Ben in the trumpet section, he looks rather sad. "Ben?" I ask him, knowing that he goes to the same school as Cashmere. "What is it?" He asks in a rude tone. "Was Cashmere at school today?" I asked him, because she would've told me in advance if she wasn't going to be here. "I saw her in the morning but not at the end of the day. It was weird because there was a lockdown during the last block," he tells me. Something must've happened. I let out a quiet, "Thanks." "Sorry," he tells me. "I'm just a little worried," I tell him. "Well, Cashmere and I are dating, so leave me to be the one to be worried about her. I'm sure she's fine," he tells me. Maybe I can talk to her next week and figure out what was going on.

"Alex? Can you come with me?" I hear Mr. Hudson ask as he comes up to me. "Yeah sure. What's up?" I ask him, trying to not think about Cashmere. "It has to do with Cashmere," he tells me. Putting my French horn down, I leave the band room with him. "What's going on?" I ask him once we're outside of the band room. "I got a call from Cashmere's mom. Cashmere is in the hospital. An incident happened earlier today at school," he tells me. The last thing I wanted to find out about. "Is she alive?" I ask, trying not to cry. "She's alive, but unconscious," he tells me, putting his arm on mine showing a sign of comfort. "Thanks Mr. Hudson," I told him. "I know how hard this is on you," he tells me. "Is it possible if you could call back at break to see if I could visit her after?" I ask, trying to get it through the tears.

"Of course I will. I know how much she means to you. I got to go tell the trombones that a member of theirs passed away earlier," he tells me. "Wait, someone passed away?" I ask him. "Yes," he tells me. "I don't understand. Why do we have rehearsal then?" I ask him, cause it's the only question to ask. "The show still has to go on," he tells me. "Right, that makes the most sense," I told him before he headed in. I needed a moment to myself. I went back in as Mr. Hudson had headed up to his stand. "Listen to me please. I have some sad news. A member of ours is in the hospital and is unconscious. Another member of ours passed away earlier today. So if everyone could join me in prayer, please?" He tells us as I sit down. Everyone was quiet.

"In the name of the father, the son, and the holy spirit. Dear God, please help the families that need your help and support. Keep Jason well in heaven, and Cashmere safe here on Earth. Help Jason's family in these times of mourning, and pray that Cashmere doesn't leave us too. One is enough; in fact, no one at this age deserves to die. In the name of the father, the son, and the holy spirit," he tells the entire band class. Once Mr. Hudson was done, we got to playing our music, even though I wasn't in the mood.

All I want is for Cashmere to be here. I love her, and she doesn't accept that. I only want her to accept that. Why is it that hard? I waited for a break, because I really want to visit Cashmere. I can't see myself without her. Break time comes. I have to get out of there. I go to the bathroom and lock myself in a stall to hide myself. It's best if no one sees me crying. After a minute, I opened the stall door. "What do you want?" I ask Ben. He was right there and startled me. "Tell me the truth. What's going on between you and Cashmere?" he asked. It was probably time for me to confess to him that I loved his girlfriend. "What are you talking about?" I ask him, trying to make it seem like I don't know much about Cashmere. "Do you have feelings for her?" He asks. I was now kind of caught, but I was able to cover it up by asking, "Why do you ask?" "Why did Mr. Hudson tell you instead of me?" He asks. "Probably because he knows of Cashmere and I being good friends. He probably thought that we were dating," I tell him rather snarky.

"But I'm the one dating her, and I'd appreciate it if you stayed away from her," he tells me. Like he can tell me what to do. I can do whatever I want. Even if it means making it seem like making Cashmere cheat and get away with it, I can do it. "You can't tell me what to do, Ben Oxford. By the way, did you get your last name from a dictionary?" I ask him in a rather rude tone. "You watch what you claim. We both know that's not true," he tells me. "You sure? I don't think Cashmere would want to inherit the name of Oxford," I tell him. "And you think that she'll just be with you?" He asked me. "Think? I know it. She's already had feelings for me that I've known for a while now," I tell him. That must've hurt to hear that. "Really? Then how come she never said anything to me?" He asked. I could tell it was hard to take in what he just learned. "Probably because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings when she breaks up with you, Oxford dictionary," I tell him.