A couple of weeks had passed. Siobhan was hazy for the most part. There wasn't much she could remember from this time. She was strung up on pain medication and her head was elsewhere. She had to continue covering in the nurseries while roger looked for a deputy manager.
This meant she had spent alot of time with Marjorie. She had seen a lot of hers and Reece's relationship. He was always gentle with her. And Marjorie was so full of adoration for Reece.
She would be glad to not remember this. If she had remembered this, she would have realised sooner that her situation was not right. She wasn't ready to acknowledge this. She couldn't acknowledge this without the strength to make a difference.
Her first day back, well, the first day she can remember after what happened, she was sat in Marjorie's office. Autumn had gone over to the sister nursery to cover, leaving Siobhan and Marjorie alone.
Marjorie clearly felt awkward in this situation. She'd never really spoken much to Siobhan. But still she attempted to make small talk.
"How are you feeling today? You weren't looking too well last I saw you" Marjorie asked, still avoiding eye contact.
Siobhan couldn't remember the last time she saw Marjorie.
"And when was that?" Siobhan asked quietly, looking down at the papers infront of her.
"When was what? The last time I saw you?" Marjorie was bewildered by the question.
"I don't remember" Siobhan started "Ive been quite wrapped up in other stuff Marjorie."
Marjorie looked straight at Siobhan. It was a worried look, but it made Siobhan feel scared.
"It was last week"
"Oh, that's nice" Siobhan wasn't sure how to answer the question.
"I imagine one of the parents will drop in soon, she's been having a hard time with her divorce at the moment. Really a messy situation but I'm glad she's breaking free" Marjorie explained.
"Takes a lot of strength to do that" Siobhans voice was still, void of any emotion or indication.
"What do you mean?" Marjorie asked.
"Some people never find the strength to leave, it's really a rough situation." Part of Siobhan was hoping Marjorie would pry, ask more questions. She needed someone to know the truth. She needed strength from someone else, she couldn't find it within herself to leave.
"I guess it does" Marjorie asked before there was a light tapping on the door.
Why can't you fucking hear me? Siobhan thought to herself. She wanted someone to put the pieces together. She desperately wanted to scream from the rooftops that she needed help. But she couldn't.
Just then, Reece walked into the office. His build was much different to his father's, but one or two mannerisms transferred over. Siobhan felt her breath stop in her throat. She was back there, crying out to the heavens that he would stop, holding on to the threads of her life. She didn't understand why Reece's present was such a trigger for her.
She couldn't help but watch as Reece looked at Marjorie like she was a piece of art. Their love was thick in the air around them, even if they were just talking about business. He accepted marjorie for what she was, and had no intention of changing her or fixing her. What was that like?
Siobhan excused herself and headed outside of the nursery. She stood in the rain. She loved the rain. The unpredictability of it brought a weird sense of comfort to her. The rain felt freeing. She couldn't help but let her own tears fall as she stood outside.
"Alright darling" Vivian acknowledged as she walked out the nursery. "Oh you're not okay are you." Vivian walked around the corner of the nursery, a blindspot from the cameras. Siobhan couldn't help but follow.
"It's okay sweet girl" Vivian said as she pulled her into a hug, "I've got you okay? It's not going to last forever"
"I've got one life," Siobhan started "and I'm wasting it on someone who doesn't really love me. He treated me like art in the begining you know?" Siobhan nestled her face into Vivian's neck. "I guess art isn't worth buying into anymore, is this my life? Am I supposed to just spend my life being used?"
"Baby don't say that" Vivian soothed "you are doing amazing and you will get out of this." Vivian's heart broke at the sight of Siobhan breaking down like this.
"You know, a woman isn't supposed to just be used. You should be allowed to feel a connection with someone. You're so much more than you're physically beauty." Vivian continued talking as Siobhan broke down. "You're beauty runs deep Siobhan, it's runs through your blood and to your heart and brain. It feeds your beliefs and passions, it helps you love. It will feed into your strength one day. You're a sensitive soul who deserves to feel loved and safe. Love isn't all physical, it can be emotional aswell. The emotional part is the best part. But it should also be happy, and shouldn't fill you with dread"
"You really think I'm beautiful?" Siobhan asked with a streak of vulnerability in her voice. She had felt like she was on display for all to see the last few years. She was always told she was beautiful, but that was always about how she looked. This time it felt like Vivian was speaking right to her core.
"Even with mascara covering your face, you're still the prettiest girl I've ever seen" Vivian joked as her hands went up and wiped the girls damp cheeks, wiping away any dregs of makeup that remained. It felt foreign to Siobhan, being touched in such a gentle manner.
"Also, art isn't meant to be just pretty, you're supposed to feel an emotional connection to it. You're supposed to feel, and it's hard to do that when your constantly trying to bottle up your emotions isn't it?"
Why can't I just tell her?
"Eventually, all this chaos will settle into a magnificent work of art that tells a story. Every scar will form a constellation and you will be allowed to feel" Vivian said kissing her forehead.
"You can't give up okay? I won't let you"
"I'm sorry this isn't what you want. Eventually you'll see that I am nothing more than a mess. You shouldnt have to pick up the pieces. I'll be fine Vivian I promise" Siobhan felt defensive all of a sudden.
"This isn't what I wanted you're right. You're what I want and I'll accept whatever comes with that. I'll do everything in my power to make sure your okay at the end of this, don't apologise" and with that she was gone.
Siobhan felt a bit better, tired but, she was always tired. She felt heard. For the first time, someone had listened to her, and she didn't really have to say much. There was no begging or pleading or any ulterior motive, she was just heard. Vivian was unlike anything she ever expected or received. She was raw, but in a loving and caring way. She wasn't afraid to show her emotions. She was a work of art that Siobhan never wanted to stop feeling.
