It was nearing the end of Vivian's shift. She was on a night shift this one evening, and she was supposed to leave at 3am.
That's what was supposed to happen.
Working in healthcare, as a physician or nurse is often very unpredictable. You never know what the day is going to bring, or in this case night. It was typical for a Friday night, young adults and teenagers frequenting the emergency room with alcohol poisoning. She was finishing up her rounds for the evening, making sure everyone had fluids and was stable. She was finishing her notes, making sure that the level of detail was optimal for whoever would be taking over her patients when she left to go home.
She didn't know she wouldn't be going home that night.
She had been on her feet all day, all she wanted was to go home, see her sleeping child, have a cup of tea and crawl into bed beside him. She would text Siobhan once she was home, ask about her day, try and gauge whether or not she was okay. That's if Siobhan was awake, usually she was when Vivian dropped her a text, but then again it was late.
Vivian was on her way to go get changed before she headed home when an emergency came through. Being one of the more "seasoned" nurses she frequently got called into the big emergencies. She was old enough to have developed the 6th sense needed, she didn't need to ask questions, she knew what she was doing, but she was still young enough to be quick on her feet, and her stamina was needed for some of these longer cases.
She groaned, and turned to wait in the ambulance bays.
"What is it tonight?" She asked the doctor on call beside her.
"Suspected opioid overdose, she's in critical condition. I don't think we'll be here long"
Vivian knew what that phrase meant. That was the phrase used when they thought the patient would be dead on arrival. It was sad, but Vivian, and the people she worked with were all fully aware of the horrors that came with the field. You could try your best to save everyone, but not everyone could be saved.
3 minutes passed by and the ambulance pulled in. Vivian saw an older man come out of the ambulance alongside the paramedics. He was quite tall, and stocky in build. He had to have been about 6ft. His age was evidenced by his slowly greying hair. He had to be early 60s atleast.
The paramedics pulled the gurney out of the ambulance and there she was. She was cold, lifeless almost. Her breathing was jagged and shallow.
Okay okay, let's confirm this as best as we can. What's the opioid overdose triad? Her mind was racing. But she needed Siobhan to be okay.
Unconsciousness.
Respiratory depression.
Pinpoint pupils.
Well, the first two she could tell straight away. Vivian climbed alongside the gurney with her flashlight. She was fast on her feet, she didn't need to be told what to do.
"It's okay, it's going to be alright. I've got you now and I'm going to save you" she didn't know if she was whispering to herself or Siobhan. She was biting back tears as she held the blondes eyelids open.
Yep, pinpoint pupils.
They werent responding to any external stimuli. It wasn't looking good. But she was breathing, albeit she was struggling. But she was there. She was fighting. Vivian knew it was her turn to fight aswell.
She couldn't stand seeing her love in this situation. Siobhan was holding on but barely. She felt tears sting her eyes and for the first time in her occupation, she felt powerless.
"She's in respiratory arrest, I might need to intubate" she said checking her pulse. Good, as long as her heart was beating she could pull through.
In one swift practiced motion, she had intubated Siobhan. It was important to get oxygen into the woman's lungs as fast as possible. When you can't breathe on your own, it leads to a build up of carbon dioxide in your lungs, which could escalate to a coma. It's because when you exhale normally, the carbon dioxide is exhaled amongst other gases. When Siobhan went into arrest, those gases couldn't move.
"Did anyone administer Naloxone?" She asked the paramedics. This wasn't great, it was very obviously a paramedic in training. His answer peeved Vivian, something about not knowing if she was pregnant. She wanted to scream.
Of course he didn't know about the miscarriage, how could he?
Fucking idiot, not every drug is going to cause miscarriage.
How would she have a baby if she was dead? Think about it.
She might be awake by now if you had administered Naloxone.
"You should have administered Naloxone in the field, had you done that she might be awake already. We might not be able to save this woman because of your incompetency. Read a book, learn the signs of opioid overdose and make sure you don't make this mistake twice" she was furious at this point.
They rushed into the emergency room and into one of the closed off rooms. As soon as Siobhan was hooked to the machines, she administered Naloxone. It hurt to see Siobhan breathing on machines. But it also hurt Vivian to inject the substance into Siobhan.
"Shh baby, it's going to hurt a little" her voice was soft, just shy of a whisper. She hated the idea of putting Siobhan through any more pain than was necessary.
"Her names Siobhan serpent, she was here a couple of weeks ago for a miscarriage" Vivian explained to the doctor beside her. It was this moment, when she saw a change in the older man's face that she realised who he was. It was roger. Siobhan had never been explicit about what was going on, but she gave up on trying to hide it from Vivian. Vivian was biting back tears in the room. She needed to get out.
"I'm going to go find her file, let me know if anything happens"
Vivian couldn't breathe. She needed to get out of that room. She couldn't stand to be in a room with her dying love. Her mind was racing. She didn't need to focus now that she was stable. Oh my God. That was him. He was responsible for the way that Siobhan felt.
She pulled herself together and ran to the nurses station. She briefly explained the parts she knew. She knew Siobhan was mentally unstable as a result of the abuse she's been facing, she knew, medically speaking, that a blunt trauma caused her to miscarry her baby, she knew about the wound on the back of her head and the black eye she was sporting for a while. She needed security around the room, to stop him from getting violent, to Siobhan and the other women in the room. If he was capable of hurting the woman he "loved" to such extents, what was he capable of doing to her, or anyone else for that matter.
Security were fast, faster than Vivian could make it back to the room. When she got back, siobhan was in cardiac arrest. Roger, was stood there not saying a word, while the doctor pounded down on her chest.
She fell into a steady rhythm for a moment allowing the doctor to stop.
"It's okay love, you'll be okay"
I need you to be okay.
Vivian was lightly stroking the blondes face. The tubes and wires coming out of the girl made a hard sight to see. She was sat beside the bed and she placed a gentle kiss on the girls hand.
"Don't make me have to miss you" she said running her thumb over her knuckles.
"Who are you?" Roger asked.
"I'm the nurse whose been taking care of your... Girlfriend? The last several times she's been here." Vivian quipped. God he was old enough to be her father.
"Care to explain why she's been here so often?" She wasn't going to hold back anymore.
Roger scowled, but before anything could come out of his mouth Siobhan was crashing. Vivian was quick to react and was instantly starting chest compression.
"I'm so sorry baby" she whispered as she heard ribs break, "im so so sorry."
She wasn't getting anywhere though. Siobhan wasn't coming back to her. Vivian was a fast thinker, she had tried everything. It was nearing 5 in the morning at this point, she wanted the sleep to take over her body, but she always wanted Siobhan to be okay.
"Get him out, now!" Vivian yelled, security came in and got roger out swiftly. Within minutes, Siobhan was stable.
I did it, I saved her life.
The road to recovery was going to be long and slow for Siobhan. But that was okay, Vivian was going to stick by her side as long as she could, and she was going to get her help.
She saved her once, and she would again. She would save Siobhan again and again, forever. In every universe she would save her life.
An: am I forgiven?
