A few days had passed; Siobhan spent her nights at the hotel and her days with Vivian. On the first day, Vivian had just come off a night shift. The two spent the day lounging in Vivian's house, just cuddling and appreciating each other's presence. On the next day, she went to work with Vivian and spent her days in the nurses lounge. Autumn and Reece had agreed to let her focus on some admin work, away for the time being. Just until she was ready to come back to the world. This day, however, was Vivian's day off from work, and the two had decided to go back to the old coffee house, to reminisce on the first time they had really spent time together.
Siobhan was nervous to go back to work and be around people. She worried that Roger leaving and her admitting to everything she had been through meant people would have lost respect for her. Admittedly, she had lost respect for herself. She didn't feel nervous around Vivian; Vivian was there through it all. She felt free around Vivian; Vivian gave her the ability to fly. She understood everything about Siobhan—her flush, her sin, her insecurity. She had no reason to worry around Vivian; she understood everything, but this didn't make her love Siobhan any less. But around the people who didn't know her as deeply, well, this made her feel like a baby bird, finding its footing and learning to walk before being able to fly.
She wanted to fly, she liked when she felt like she could fly with Vivian.
Siobhan left the hotel at around 10 a.m. that morning; she knew Vivian would be outside soon. Autumn was starting to fall over the landscape. The leaves were tinged with yellow and red, and a couple had begun to fall free from the trees, lightly littering the ground before settling into the earth's bed. Autumn was the only time of the year where the scent of death was both weary and sweet, but the promise of the prosperous spring was lingering. This reminded Siobhan of the importance of loss and what it provided. Even in the coldest moments, there was a promise of The sun was still soft and the air sharp, but it was nice. Siobhan loved autumn, the way the rain pattered gently in the evening and how the days gradually grew shorter and greyer.
It wasn't long before Vivian had arrived. She greeted Siobhan with a hug. The warmth from the hug provided a stark contrast to the cold autumn breeze. Siobhan felt her icey exterior thaw out at the contact. She felt the warmth go straight to her bones. She greeted Vivian with a soft kiss on her cheek.
The two walked to the old coffee house. The hotel was just outside of town, but a mere 20 minutes walk from the coffee house. It was a good opportunity to enjoy the autumn weather and enjoy each other's company away from prying eyes.
The two engaged in light conversation on their way to the coffee shop. Siobhan took great notice of what Vivian was wearing. She was wearing the same denim jacket as she did the first time they had spent time together away from the nursery. It was a dark wash jacket, with blindered holes and janky wrinkles that told the story of every time she wore the jacket. Vivians eyes, Siobhan would let herself fall deeper and deeper into Vivians brown eyes. She would very often catch herself staring into Vivians eyes, she saw the flames of every memory burn within Vivians eyes. The deepest dawnings and memories of what seems like ancient times. Vivians eyes were poetic, and the beautiful madness of their relationship was encapsulated in her brown eyes. In her eyes was the warmth of an everlasting hearth.
The women tended always maintained a strong level of eye contact when they were together. Vivian loved Siobhan's eyes; even when they were painted in shades of blue and purple, they were still the most beautiful thing to Vivian. She would gladly let herself drown in the icy blue that was Siobhan's eyes. The first time Vivian saw Siobhan's eyes, she was entranced. Entirely fixated, by the way, the blue swallowed the ocean up into the sea. Her eyes held depth and mystery—an unsolved mystery. But they also held pain. Vivian was glad to see life come back into Siobhan's eyes. The pain had slowly started to dissipate, and was being replaced with the strength she had so clearly exerted.
They made it to the coffeehouse; it was quiet. The light was warm, not too bright. Siobhan still had a disdain for harsh lights, she would rather not be seen. This was abundantly clear to Vivian due to Siobhan's behaviour over the past weeks. She had opted to hiding herself from those around her. Vivian noticed as stray hairs fell in front of Siobhan's face.
She reached her hand up to the blonde's hair.
"Baby, you don't have to hide any more," she said as she moved the soft hair, tucking it behind Siobhan's ear. "Ive missed your face, and your eyes."
Siobhan wasn't sure how to respond.
"I smile whenever I look at your eyes, i feel my nerves set in whenever I look too long," Vivian said honestly. Siobhan felt herself smile at this statement.
"What do you want to drink, darling?" vivian asked.
"An Americano, please," Siobhan said.
"I thought you were a cappuccino girl?" Vivian joked, remembering the first time they were here.
"But Americans remind me of you, sometimes I can taste it on your lips when we kiss. And I started drinking my coffee black, because anything I added to it meant it resembled your eyes less. I've missed your eyes. Americanos are warm and easy, like you. You are always so warm towards me and i find it so easy to talk to you," Siobhan explained, smiling and letting a blush coat her cheeks.
Vivian reached her hand over to hold the other girls hand. Siobhan didn't want to hide anymore; if it meant she could share countless Americanos with the woman in front of her, she would happily be in the light with Vivian.
Vivian had an important topic to bring up to Siobhan; thats why she wanted to take her out on this day. She dreaded the moment the words left her lips. But they had time. That was all they wanted—time together. They didnt need to rush into that conversation yet.
