Vivian stayed beside Siobhan the whole night. She refused to leave, even if it was to go to the bathroom. She didn't feel the need for anything. She wouldn't want for anything if Siobhan was okay. She just wanted to make sure Siobhan was okay. She was worried that maybe she had done something wrong, something that would inhibit her recovery and make things so much harder for her.
And for the first time in her life, Vivian prayed.
"To whoever that may be listening, please let her be okay. I need her to be okay. She has so much of her life to live and experience. She hasn't been able to experience life yet. She deserves at least that"
Vivian wasn't religious in the slightest. She believed in science, and everything was because of the way that certain things worked together. She knew her and Siobhan would work together if they had a chance. Please, all she wanted was a chance to really love her. Show her what she really deserves
Roger took everything from Siobhan, Vivian knew this and she knew that the woman she had come to love was not who she used to be. She wished that she could have met her sooner, so she would be able to meet the authentic Siobhan. That didn't really matter though, Vivian knew she would love her regardless.
Siobhan lay unconscious for what seemed like days, in reality it was mere hours. She regained consciousness late that morning and her tube was removed shortly after.
She was stable, she had survived what was medically, the worst part. Mentally, she had the worst to come. Recovery was the next step. Vivian knew how hard it was for addicts to recover. She'd seen enough in her lifetime, one of them being her own father. She couldn't save him, but she could still save Siobhan.
It was clear that Siobhan was suicidal. Vivian was sure that Siobhan knew this about herself. All it would really take to notice this was a good look. If anyone took the time to pay attention to Siobhan, and her behaviour over the last few months (and probably the upcoming months) it was clear.
She didn't want to be in a world where she wasn't allowed to feel in her own home. She wanted to feel safe and loved, like many of us do. But the soil in the ground and the salt in the sea had different ideas for Siobhan. How could she be expected to live in a world where all she experienced was abuse and hatred? It wasn't even just other people anymore, she loathed herself, she would abuse herself in these awful ways. Maybe it was a way to regain control? Maybe it was a safety thing? If she could handle what she was capable of doing to herself, then she could take it from the rest of the world.
But it wasn't like this anymore. Vivian had proved to her that she was capable of love and that she was important. Vivian would treat her like a work of art, she would worship Siobhan and the ground she walked on everyday, for the rest of her life if she was allowed.
If Siobhan would allow her.
"Hey pretty lady" Vivian whispered as Siobhan regained consciousness. "Ah ah ah, don't try to talk, it's going to hurt with the tube in your mouth." The tube was removed quickly and painlessly.
"Okay baby? I've got you now it's okay" Vivian said running her fingers over the blondes knuckles before placing a gentle kiss. Siobhan looked at her briefly with a look of sorrow before removing her gaze and focusing on a spot on the wall.
"I missed you, you know? I haven't heard from you in a couple days. I'm just glad I didn't have to miss you forever." Vivian didn't know what else to do. She was just talking. She thought at the very least, she could pull Siobhan out of her poor mindset, even if it was only for a little while. But she was scared of what would come out of her mouth. What if she said something wrong and Siobhan was upset with her? She didn't want to hurt her.
