Hey You

Chapter 21

Later that night, Weng knocked on Nella's bedroom door before going to bed.

"Pasok po," she heard Nella from inside.

When she opened the door, Nella forced a smile. "Hi po, tita."

"Hi," her aunt nodded while closing the door behind her. "Chinicheck lang kita. Hindi na tayo nakapag-usap kanina pag-uwi nyo eh. Okay ka lang ba?" Weng asked. She sat at the edge of Nella's bed after she made room for her to sit next to her.

"Okay lang po, tita. Kayo po?" Nella asked back.

"I'm okay," Weng nodded. "She came by. We talked," she let her know.

Nella stared at her fingers as she fidgeted with the blanket.

"She cares a lot about you, Nels. I really think she's a good one. Do us both a favor, and don't let her go. I think sya yung makakatulong sayo hindi lang sa mga school activities na required sayo but also to experience what you've missed out on all those years," Weng looked into Nella's eyes the whole time. "Don't deprive yourself of the things your mom can't experience anymore. 'Wag mong hayaan na mawala ka din sa amin kasi nandito ka nga, but you know to yourself na that's not your usual self. Your mom is at peace now. Na-enjoy na nya ang buhay nya. If you don't want her to worry, you show her that you're living your life again, para sa kanya at para sayo."

Nella couldn't look her aunt in the eyes. "Ano pong sabi nya?"

Weng sighed and straightened her upper body. "The reason why I feel like she cares a lot about you is nakikita ko na she's genuinely hurting for you after ko masabi sa kanya yung  mga pinagdaanan mo. Nasasaktan rin sya para sayo, 'nak. Why? Kasi nga mahalaga ka sa kanya, and I could feel na mahal ka ng kaibigan mo. Ganun talaga eh, if your loved ones are hurting, automatic nasasaktan ka din. Kasi nga may connection kayo eh. That bond allows her to feel kung anong nararamdaman mo. Can I be straightforward with you, Nels?"

Nella met her aunt's gaze. Then she nodded.

"Please don't let the pain numb you to the point na hindi mo na rin nararamdaman yung connection mo sa mga tao na nandito pa sa buhay mo. Don't let your grief numb you sa nararamdaman ng mga tao around you. Minsan kasi ganun ako eh. Minsan pag intense yung pagka-miss ko sa mama mo, nag-iiba mood ko. Then I take it out on your tito. Then nagiguilty ako pag na-realize ko na I'm so fixated sa grief ko na hindi ko napapansin nakakasakit na rin pala ako kahit through my words lang. Alam mo yun? Do you get where I'm coming from?" Weng had to ask.

Nella nodded. "The same way na nasasaktan ko rin po si Jane when I push her away."

Weng had on a worried look on her face. "Mhm," she answered quietly.

"Feeling ko kasi kung anong dinedeprive mo for yourself, hindi mo nari-realize na nade-deprive mo rin pala kay Jane. Katulad nyan, you're insisting na she doesn't need you, na she's better off without you, pero what if she needs you?" Weng tried to put into perspective so that her niece would understand.

Nella felt extremely guilty. She took her aunt's words to heart and made sure to remember them.

"You deserve to be happy. Deserve rin ni Jane yung friendship nyo. Deserve nyo ang isa't-isa, at deserve nyong maging masaya," Weng held her niece's face.

"Thank you po, tita. Thank you po for being so patient with me. Thank you din po for treating Jane like she's part of the family," Nella said after leaning towards her aunt to give her a hug.

Weng embraced her niece tightly. She wanted to make her feel her presence through their hug. "Because she is. Jane's already part of our family."

"Tama ka yata talaga," Jane said later that night to her cousin, Danny, over the phone while she laid in bed staring at the ceiling.