Hey You

Chapter 25

Jane plopped down on Nella's bean bag after they retreated to her bedroom. "Ano kaya yung hugot ni tita Weng? Medyo nalito ako."

Nella laughed. "Ako din actually," she lowered her voice down so that her aunt wouldn't hear that they were talking about her.

"May suspecha kaya sya na Charlie's gay? Pero hindi eh. Maliit pa si Charlie so it might be too early to tell. Bakit nya kaya nasabi yun?" Jane wondered out loud.

"Baka akala nya lesbian tayong dalawa," Nella joked.

"Ay baka," Jane nodded.

Nella burst out laughing. "Joke lang eh."

Jane shrugged. "Malay mo. Baka sa sobrang close natin yun na pala yung tingin nya satin."

Nella sat on the bed. "Well, at least we know she's an ally if ever."

Jane somehow felt all ticklish in her chest, she wanted to let out a squeal. "If ever ha," she bobbed her eyebrows up and down.
"Bakit? Open ka ba sa ganun?"

Nella shrugged this time. "I have no control if and when I fall in love, PB. At wala rin akong control kung kanino ako magfo-fall."

Jane had to contain her shriek and tried to act normal. "Eh pano kung yung pinana ni kupido tayo pareho para sa isa't-isa? Ibig sabihin open ka mag-explore?"

Nella shrugged again. "Why not? Eh kung ikaw ang pinili ng puso ko, eh ganun talaga."

Jane frowned. "Ouch naman. Parang ang bad choice ko naman."

Nella shook her head. "Hoy, hindi kaya. Kaya nga ako ganito ka-chill kasi if my heart does choose to fall in love with you, then I have nothing to worry about kasi ikaw yung napili eh."

Jane laid on the bean bag with her hands intertwined behind her head. "Sinasabi mo lang yan kasi ayaw moko ma-offend eh. Ang dami ko kayang issues."

Nella sighed. "Ako ba wala? Times two pa nga yata yung issues ko sa issues mo. Pero panatag ako pag ikaw yung napili ko kasi sure ako na kahit ano pang issues mo, I'm willing to work with you and choose to fight with you and for you kasi ikaw yan eh. Si Jane ka, and I already love Jane as a friend and I trust her. Siguro naman hindi moko sasaktan."

Jane lifted her head and saw that Nella was also laying in bed, so she got up and laid right next to her. "I'm scared."

Nella turned her head to the side to look at her. "Scared of what, PB?"

Jane took a deep breathe and exhaled heavily. "Na baka masaktan kita ng hindi ko sinasadya."

Nella continued to stare at her. "We're talking about the what-ifs here, right? I mean—you're scared na masaktan moko if we're ever in a relationship?" She wanted to clarify.

Jane stared at the ceiling to avoid Nella's eyes. "Eh kahit as a friend. Natatakot akong saktan ka."

"Bakit mo naman ako masasaktan?" Nella asked. This intrigued her.

"Because I'm messed up inside, Nella. Hindi ako yung tipo ng tao na iniisip ng iba," Jane replied.

"I know. I got to know you, the real you, diba? Nagustuhan ko naman yung Jane na nakilala ko ah. Mas gusto ko pa nga yung Jane nung nakilala na kita kesa yung Jane na I thought you were," Nella told her.

Jane sighed. "Madaming mali sakin, Nella."

"Ang tanong: is that really a fact or just your opinion about yourself?" Nella pointed out.

"It's fucked. That's what it is. I'm fucked up," Jane replied.

"Nakakainis naman toh kausap eh," Nella got up and stared at her friend.