Hey You

Chapter 16

Jane smiled and stayed silent for a while.

"You okay?" Nella peeked to see her friend's face.

"I'm okay. Ako pa talaga tinanong mo," Jane gave her a gentle smile.

"Eh natahimik ka kasi eh," Nella reasoned.

Jane stared at the gravestone in front of her. "I was just reading yung pangalan ng mom mo. Bata pa pala nya when she passed," she swallowed. She read the dates of birth and death over and over and cannot fathom what Nella must be feeling while looking at her mother's grave.

"Martinella. She's the OG Nella," Nella let out a little laugh. "She said she tried to make people call her Nella or at least Ella man lang, but somehow people were more drawn to 'Mars' or 'Tin' kaya yun yung tawag nila sa kanya. Umabot pa nga sa 'Marie' eh, but no one ever called her Nella. Ayun, hinayaan nya na lang yung mga tao kung anong gusto nilang itawag sa kanya. Pero since di nasunod yung gusto nyang nickname for herself, yung anak tuloy ang pinagdiskitahan. She said kung ano man yung name na mapagkakasunduan nila ng tatay ko for me, she wants Nella somewhere, anywhere, basta kasama sya sa name ko. Eh since Jake pangalan ng daddy ko, JaNella ang naging name ko," Nella explained.

Jane nodded. "Ahh, so dun pala galing yun. That's a nice name, by the way. Very unique." Her eyes disappeared when she smiled.

"At one point, alam mo ba na Jane rin yung tinatawag sakin ng mga friends nila mama. I prefer that actually, but my mom was stricter pag-dating sa pag-tawag ng mga tao sakin. She stood her ground and really corrected people kahit nung baby pa daw ako. 'Nella nga,' ginaganyan nya daw yung mga taong tumatawag sakin ng Jane. Mas prefer ko yung Jane talaga sa totoo lang. Inaasar kasi ako ng mga kaklase and friends ko. Kinakantahan ba naman ako ng 'MaNella, Manella. I keep coming back to MaNella. Simply no place like MaNella.'" Nella's mouth pointed like a little girl telling her mom about the bullies at school.

Jane burst into laughter. "I like that." Then she started singing, too. "VaNella, vaNella. My favorite ice cream is vaNella. Simply no treat like vaNella."

"Ma, oh," Nella crossed her arms.

Jane snorted from laughing too much. "Tita Nel, ang cute naman po, diba? Bagay naman po sa kanya, diba po?"

Nella paused. Then she turned her head to look at Jane. "You called her 'Nel'." This simple gesture touched the loneliest corners of her heart, if Jane only knew.

"Yeah. Sabi mo kasi yun ang gustong itawag ng mama mo sa kanya, right?" Jane asked.

Nella nodded. "That's really nice of you. Really, Jane, maaappreciate yun ni mama. She would have already pulled you into her arms sa sobrang tuwa nya na finally may ibang tumawag sa kanya ng 'Nel' besides me and tita Weng."

Jane felt the lump in her throat. "I was just trying to accommodate her wish." She frowned when she noticed Nella shed a tear. "Hala, sorry, Nella. Hindi ko intensyon na paiyakin ka," she felt extremely guilty for making her friend cry, so she put her arm around her and hugged her from the side.

Nella placed her hand on top of Jane's arm that was wrapped around her waist. "Alam mo, people often thought na si mama yung mas matanda kay tita Weng just because of the fact na nauna magka-anak si mama kesa kay tita. Actually, that wouldn't be the case kung nabuo lang yung unang baby ni tita Weng. But they lost his heartbeat when he was five months in her tummy. The baby would have been two years older than me. It broke tita Weng's heart na it took her and tito Kahl a while para mag-try ulit. I think na-trauma din si mama kaya hindi nako nasundan. Natatakot sila tita Weng na mauwi ulit sa wala yung pag-bubuntis nya. Si mama naman, hindi alam na mabubuntis siya sakin. I wasn't planned—not yet at least. Natakot din sya na mangyari sa kanya yung kay tita Weng. She didn't have the strength daw to bury her own baby like tita Weng did. Anyway, pag magkakasama kami, parehas kami ni mama nag-rerespond kay tita Weng kapag tinatawag nya yung isa samin. 'Nels' kasi tawag nya kay mama tapos sakin 'Nellie'. But ever since we lost mama, Nels na rin ang tawag nya sakin. Hinayaan ko na lang kahit na every time naririnig ko na tinatawag nya ako nun, feeling ko si mama yung tinatawag nya. Inisip ko na lang na it must make her feel better kaya nya ako tinatawag nun. It probably makes her feel like mama's still around. Siguro feeling nya my mom's memory lives on if she calls me that. Either yun o she sees mama so much in me. Lagi nya kasi sinasabi yun eh. Parehas daw kami ng mata ni mama kaya when she stares me in the eyes, feeling daw nya si mama yung kaharap nya. Kaya pag nag-uusap kami, gusto nya palagi ng eye contact. Nakakalungkot isipin na yun lang yung nagbibigay ng comfort sa kanya, yun lang yung way nya na maramdaman na nandyan lang si mama. Alam na alam ko nga pag namimiss nya mama ko kasi bigla-bigla na lang syang yayakap sakin. Then she cries. I let her cry it out. I don't usually say anything. Hindi ko rin naman alam kung anong sasabihin to make her feel better. Sya din wala syang sinasabi. She just cries. Then when she's done letting it out, she says thank you, gives me another hug, smiles and rubs my back and then nods when she's ready to walk away."