Resilient

Epilogue

      Bella and I were released from the hospital a week later. Bella had made it out with a few cuts, scapes and a broken leg. She was actually released earlier than O, but stayed with me until I was also released. Any broken bones I may have sustained during my fight with James had been partially healed by the venom, giving me a large amount of small fractions on my ribs, with little else. Except for the fact I was slowly dying. To top it off the doctors expected it to become very painful soon, and I may have a chance of vomiting blood, as well as hallucinations. So, an early and fun death for me. Any bravery I may have felt as I faced death with James vanished. I was utterly terrified. I did not want to die, I was scared. My own mother could not even stand to be around me, lest she break down sobbing. Everyone was giving me the same pitying looks. The sympathetic look you give to someone who has had little chance at life. The dying fourteen year old. Eventually I began to look the part. I was getting thinner and thinner. My lack of sleep from the promised pain began to show under my eyes, and I did little to stop it. My clothes began to hang limply from my tiny frame. And my skin was an awful pale that always seemed to have a slight greenish tinge to it. To put it simply, I was depressed. Not only that, but I was depressed about being depressed. What a lousy way to spend my last years. Charlie seemed to be in almost the same place as me, and I almost couldn't blame him. I could not imagine the pain he underwent as he watched his youngest daughter slowly waste away. As he awoke to her cries of agony in the night as her organs failed her. When he listened to her vomit after almost every meal she ate, saw the occasional stains of blood on her shirt when she came out. He watched as she got to the point where she just stopped eating. Basically he watched me give up on life. He almost never looked into my eyes anymore, because I knew he could see the terror of the unknown that shone in them. We never spoke of my impending doom. We never mentioned the fact that I would never reach the end of high school. We simply ignored it. I became angry, mainly at myself. I was supposed to be resilient, able to bounce back, but I feared that I would be unable to bounce back from this.