Maybe Next Time

Chapter 15

Everything has been falling into place beautifully. I've been immersed in learning new things, diving into fresh hobbies, and focusing on my own growth. This summer has brought a flurry of realizations and lessons, all because I chose to put myself first.

Before, I do not believe sa sayings na "if they wanted to, they would", kasi diba? what if naman he has really no means to do it. Paano kung may mga emergency? busy lang talaga siya? I always think of any excuses that I will tell to myself para lang hindi masaktan.

But the truth is, I was only deceiving myself. I had built up an idealized version of him, and in doing so, I had ignored the reality of who he really was. Now, I see clearly that if a man is truly serious about you, he won't leave you guessing or hanging. He will communicate his feelings directly and clearly. There should be no ambiguity in the words and actions of someone who genuinely cares.

I've had enough of making excuses for half-hearted efforts. I've come to understand that some men might keep things vague because they want you to be their backup plan—someone who will always be there, ready to return at the mere hint of their attention. They know that even a small gesture from them can pull you back into their orbit.

And that would be a no for me now. Hindi na dapat pa pinapagana yung pagiging marupok at pagkakaroon ng attachment issues. I refuse to let myself be swayed by fleeting gestures or empty promises. I'm done with the vulnerability of being a fallback option. I'm choosing to honor my own worth and set clear boundaries, ensuring that I am not just an option but a priority.

Enough is enough.

Those were the thoughts I told myself in the days leading up to the new school year. I built walls and set boundaries to stay focused on my studies. I even avoided eye contact with people at school to prevent any potential misunderstandings. My biggest mistake last year was letting my attachment issues get the better of me. Never again!

Not until pinatawag ako ng credit management professor ko together with my two other classmate. I'm sure wala akong kasalanan. Kakapasok pa nga lang ng school year eh. Tsaka fourth year na ako, ayokong magkaroon ng bad record. I want to graduate smoothly as much as possible.

Pumasok kami sa conference room at kita ko ang hawak niyang papel. Sana naman ay good news para naman maganda ang simula ng acad year para sa akin.

"Good afternoon Ms. Sevilla, Ms. Villarreal and Ms. Lorenzo" bati ni Ma'am Riel.

"Good afternoon ma'am" sabay naming bati kay ma'am.

"I have a good news. The three of you are chosen by our dean to compete in the upcoming intercollegiate finance competition at the regional level in Davao City"

"Hala ma'am bakit ako?" agap ko dahil sa gulat.

"Why Ms. Sevilla? Bakit naman hindi ikaw? The department head and also the dean chose the best students and I believe na kayo yun." sabi ni Ma'am.

"I hope na hindi niyo papalagpasin ang opportunity na ito. This would help you in the future. If you win this regional level. The chosen two will compete at the national level which will be held in Manila".

My excitement surged. I've always wanted to visit Manila, to experience its bustling life and towering buildings. But the pressure was on. Could I handle it? I didn't want to add unnecessary stress to myself.

The three of us are happy with the sudden news. Silang dalawa ay excited na. They were talking about how they'll visit the places in Davao pati na rin ang Manila.

We are so determined to win this competition. Okay na sa akin kahit hindi na ako maka tuntong ng Manila basta ba ay isa sa amin ang makaka-experience nun. Tinawag ni ma'am ang pansin namin dahil masyado na kaming natutuwa at excited para sa competition na ito.