TW: Mentions of self-harm, nightmares, abuse (physical and sexual)
Wanda woke up, stretching and changing her position before going back to sleep. However, as she reached to drape her arm over her girlfriend who should've been in bed, she came into contact with cold and empty sheets. She sat up in confusion before looking over to the clock on Natasha's nightstand that read 4:32 a.m. She became confused because even though Natasha was an early bird, it was unusual for her to be up this early in the morning.
Wanda got out of bed and began looking for her girlfriend. She didn't see a light on in the bathroom, so she crossed that off the list. She then went downstairs, thinking that she might've gotten thirsty or hungry and came to get a drink or snack but was met with nothing. She went outside, knowing that it was unlikely she was there, and she was right. She was getting worried when she was running out of places to look. She went to the last place she could think of: The training room.
She saw that the lights were on and quickly entered. Wanda found her girlfriend punching a punching bag repeatedly. Her face was red, and she looked out of breath, yet she kept going.
"Natasha?" Wanda said, coming closer. She was met with no answer. Natasha just kept punching. "Tasha?" She said again. She finally reached her and saw that her face was in a pained expression, a few tears mixed with sweat made their way down her face. Wanda looked at her hands that were cracked and bleeding. "Hey, Tasha, what's going on? What's happening in your head right now?" She asked gently, knowing this was something more than having to train. Natasha still didn't stop, and the bleeding was only getting worse. "Natasha, I need you to stop. You're hurting yourself."
Wanda began putting her own hands around Natasha's, ignoring her girlfriend's attempts to fight her off. Eventually, she gained control of Natasha's hands. She was surprised as Natasha turned to Wanda and threw her arms around her neck and began sobbing. Wanda wasted no time in holding her tight, whispering reassurances to her. She guided them to a bench, sitting down on it and letting Natasha climb onto her lap.
She let Natasha cry as long as she needed to, giving her kisses on her head every now and then. When Natasha resorted to sniffles, Wanda asked, "Do you want to tell me what made you go into an episode?"
Natasha wiped her nose before responding. "I had another nightmare." She had been having multiple nightmares lately, not knowing what triggered them.
"Was it about the Red Room?"
Natasha nodded, looking down. "It won't get out of my head," she whispered. "Can you look in my mind?"
"Are you sure?" When Natasha has a nightmare, she allows Wanda to look inside her mind to show her what she had seen in her dreams- to help her understand more what she was going through. It was easier than her having to explain it.
"I trust you," Natasha nodded.
"Ok." Wanda grabbed her hand, interlocking their fingers. "Take some deep breaths, love. Tell me if you want me to stop or if it becomes too much." Wanda closed her eyes. It was easy to find Natasha's mind as her thoughts were basically screaming. She could hear voices, one loud and one soft. Images flooded her mind, and she looked at a child that she recognized as young Natasha.
There was a woman who looked mean and nasty, chaining Natasha to a door. Natasha was sobbing, screaming and begging her to let her go. Wanda noticed the red marks that littered both of the young girl's arms, and she knew they were actions of self-harm, something Natasha had and still does struggle with.
She heard a door open, and she looked up to see men come in. They were most likely those who worked for Dreykov. They took turns kissing Natasha's neck, and Wanda felt like she was going to vomit. Poor Natasha tried to fight them off as she screamed but was unsuccessful. Wanda detached herself from her girlfriend's thoughts just as the men came towards young Natasha, unbuckling their belts. She didn't even have to guess what happened next.
"Oh, baby...," Wanda said, hugging Natasha.
"I remember it so vividly..."
"I know, baby, I know."
"All because I hurt myself..."
Wanda had her own tears in her eyes hearing how broken her girlfriend sounded. She took Natasha's face in her hands and started kissing away her tears. When she heard Natasha slightly giggle at her actions, her heart melted.
"You know, Tasha, after Ultron and Pietro died, I felt like I had no one. Even though you guys took me in, I still suffered with so many feelings and I couldn't control my powers. I had nightmares every night and I couldn't bring myself to go to any of you guys because I thought that everyone hated me, and I didn't blame them. I hated myself," Wanda said, looking into Natasha's teary eyes. "Even though technically I had a house, I never had a home. But when you came into my room that night when I had one of the worst nightmares, I felt something that I never experienced. I felt safe. Natalia, you are my home. And I want you to know that even after all that you were put through, I am here for you, my love. I am here for as long as you'll have me. I want to be your safe place. I want to be the one to remind you how loved you are and that nothing you went through will make me or the others see you any differently."
By the end of her speech, Natasha was sobbing, burying her face into Wanda's neck.
"You're my home too, Wands."
Wanda almost missed it, but the words brought up a cry that escaped her throat. They sat there for another thirty minutes before Wanda felt her lover go limp in her arms. She carefully lifted Natasha up bridal style and took them both to their room. She wrapped Natasha's hands up in gauze, leaving the rest to be done in the morning before tucking her in.
As soon as Wanda got into the bed, she felt Natasha roll over and place her arms and legs over Wanda's body, getting as close as she possibly could. Wanda couldn't help but smile, kissing Natasha's head before falling asleep herself.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed! Feel free to leave suggestions :)
