Tutoring Him

7.

Sadie

Why do I have to walk all these goddamn stairs everyday? I'm out of breath when I reach the fifth floor. I stand still for a second with my arms on my knees, looking at my shoes. I look up, still a bit out of breath.  And then I see him, again. In a place he doesn't belong, again. Fucking Blake. Why the fuck is he here again? I was happy because it's weekend now, but all my joy is immediately gone when I see his fucking face. The face that ruined me.

He turns around and spots me. A smirk appears on his face. Oh how bad I want to slap that smirk of his face. Blake observes me for while, I'm still with my hands on my knees. I look angry at him, biting my lip to not say anything. I stand up, crossing my arms, still watching him.

Blake cracks his knuckles, which makes a disgusting sound, and then slowly walks towards me. His hand in the pockets of his leather jacket. The one he always gave to me when I was cold. When we were still together, and happy. He stops right infront of me, our faces only a few inches apart. I can smell his breath, which smells like cigarettes.

Blake looks down at me, I'm not the tallest person ever. We stand like that for what feels like an hour, staring in each others eyes. Sounds pretty romantic, but it's like the opposite. I only feel anger, keeping my mouth shut is hard. I can't do nothing anymore.

'What the fuck do you want.' I say, trying to sound brave. Blake says nothing. When I want to give up and just walk away he finally does. 'You.' He whispers. For a second I thought I heared him wrong. But he isn't kidding. His face is dead serious. I look confused at him. 'Wha-' I can't even finish my sentence. Blake smashes his lips onto mine, his hands cupping my face. His lips on mine feel different after a year. They aren't the soft and gentle kisses I remember. This time his kiss is rough. His hands on my cheeks are cold and dry.

I'm shocked. When I realize what he's doing I immediately pull away. I stare at him in disbelief. I can't read anything out of his eyes. I almost run to my room and slam the door shut. Then I collapse on the floor, my back against the front door. How dare he. How dare he kiss me after what he did to me. Before I now tears are rolling down my eyes. I'm still shocked, still can taste his lips on mine.

I roll up my sleeve and see at the things he did to me. The things he made me do. He knows. He knows I did this. And he still acts like a fucking dickhead. He doesn't care what he had done to me. He doesn't give a shit about me. He never did. He never fucking did. I was just a part of his game. My breath is heavy.

I look at the scars on my arm, the ones Blake made. One for cheating, one for lying to me, one for asaulting me, one for trying to rape me, and a lot for making me fucking hate myself. Tears are now streaming down my face. I'm having a breakdown on the floor, because of him. I thought I never had to have one again because of him, that I was over him,that he was gone. Out of my life. But here we are, all because off that bitch of a Blake. I hate him. I hate him. I fucking hate him.