because I met you | billie eilish

you're late

. 

"Malia, get up! You're going to be late!" Madi yelled shaking me. 

Startled from my sleep, I shot up in bed, my heart racing. "What? What time is it?" I looked for my phone, my eyes barely focusing as I checked the time. It was much later than I thought. Panic set in as I realized just how late I was.

"Hurry up!" Madi urged, already heading back to the door. "I'll grab you some coffee. Just get dressed!"

I stumbled out of bed and pulled open my drawer, grabbing the first pieces of clothing I could find. My mind was foggy, from the lingering thoughts of yesterday's events with Riley. 

I speed walked to the bathroom to brush my teeth and splash water on my face, trying to wake up fully. Madi was waiting with a to-go cup of coffee and a quick breakfast sandwich when I walked to the kitchen.

"Thanks" I said, taking the coffee with a nod of appreciation.

"No problem. Just hurry, but don't speed like Billie" she replied with a half-smile, handing me the sandwich.

I nodded, taking a quick bite of the sandwich as I grabbed my keys and headed out the door. The drive to work was usually a time for me to mentally prepare for the day, but today, my thoughts wandered uncontrollably back to Riley. 

As the familiar route passed by in a blur, tears began to well up in my eyes. The car felt like the only safe space to let my guard down. I cried, the tears a mix of frustration, sadness, and a deep sense of loss. 

By the time I reached the studio, I had managed to pull myself together somewhat, even though the puffiness of my eyes was hard to hide. I parked the car, took a deep breath, and dabbed at my eyes with the back of my hand. "Get it the fuck together, Malia," I whispered to myself, trying to find the strength to face the day.

As I entered, the weight of my personal troubles felt like a shadow trailing behind me, but I pushed it aside as I approached Kari. Her back was to me as she coordinated with the crew, her voice carrying clear and authoritative over the noise. I took a deep breath and waited for a pause in her conversation before stepping forward.

"Kari, I'm really sorry I'm late," I began, my tone sincere and apologetic.

She turned to look at me, her expression stern yet not without understanding. She glanced at her watch and then back at me.

"It's not like you to be late, Malia. I hope everything is okay," Kari said, her voice softening slightly at the end.

I nodded, not trusting myself to go into any details. "Yes, just a rough start this morning. It won't happen again."

Kari held my gaze for a moment longer, then nodded. "Alright. I need you to make it up by giving your best today. We're behind schedule, and I need everyone at their sharpest. Can I count on you?"

"Absolutely, Kari. I'll do whatever it takes," I assured her.

"Good," Kari responded with a decisive nod. "Start by helping the lighting team in Studio B. They're setting up for the next scene and could use an extra hand. After that, check in with the props department; they received some late additions this morning that need to be cataloged and approved before noon."

"Got it," I replied.

I walked away to carry out my tasks. The studio was a maze of activity, each department buzzing with its own set of challenges and deadlines. Joining the lighting team, I quickly fell into the rhythm of the work, my hands busy adjusting equipment and coordinating with the technicians. 

As lunchtime rolled around, I was more than ready for a break. Just as I was about to find a spot, I saw Josh waving me over. Grateful for a familiar face, I made my way toward him.

"Hey," Josh greeted me as I sat down across from him. "I saw you when you walked in this morning. You seemed... off. Everything okay?"  He looked concerned.

His directness caught me a bit off guard, but after the morning I'd had, it was a relief to talk to someone who seemed genuinely concerned. I sighed, stirring my food absent-mindedly. "Yeah, Remember Riley? I told you a bit about her before."

Josh nodded, his brow furrowing as he recalled the conversation. "Yeah, I remember. What about her?"

I took a deep breath, the events with Riley still fresh and painful. "We tried to be just friends, but... I ended up complicating things. I kissed her, and now she's said she's moved on." Saying it out loud to Josh made the situation seem even more real, and a little more painful.

Josh's expression softened, his initial curiosity shifting to empathy. "I'm sorry to hear that, Malia. That's tough." He paused for a moment, then added, "So, it's not her that gave you the flowers then?" he laughed.

I shook my head, a small smile tugging at the corners of my mouth "No, it wasn't her. Still no idea who it is. Adds a bit of mystery to my life, I guess."

As the afternoon wore on, it became increasingly apparent that Billie hadn't approached me at all throughout the day. This unusual silence between us weighed on my mind, especially considering our recent interactions and the unresolved tensions. 

Work quickly came to an end, and still nothing from Billie. I searched for her but I guess she had left quick. I kept wondering what happened and if I did something. I miss her company.

As I headed towards my car, I pulled out my phone and sent Billie a simple text: "Hey, we didn't get to talk today. Everything okay?" It was a small step, but it was a start. As I drove home, I kept glancing at my phone, waiting for a response.