My Dearest Rival

46. Sangeeta

High pressure, i think this is correct word to define my situation. I don't know what to say or what to ask. I don't even know what to do. Am i supposed to push him harder to know the truth or give him a warm hug to make him forget whatever had happened in his past.

From the looks on his face, i concluded one thing. His past is too dark with so many mysteries and I can't predict anything. It's all in his hands. If he is willing to tell me everything then i am going to listen and will try to understand it.

I've been waiting for this day to come since a long time ago. My heart thumps every time i breath. I am stifling.

Did he just said he is reason behind his mother's death? I don't believe this. One thing i have always been sure is that the man, who looks so broken, can never hurt anyone. Let alone be hurting anyone intentionally, he cannot even dream to hurting anyone.

My heart says it cannot be true. There is part of me that cannot digest whatever he said.

"Look, if you are not comfortable te------"

"I want to tell you everything" he said cutting me off. I nod. Before he could've done anything i held his hands as if it always belonged to me.

As i hold his cold hands, instantly four words started to run inside my brain.

My Man.

My husband.

My crackyhead.

My enemy.

I felt sudden urge  of owning him and it hit me like a wave of ocean. The feeling of him being  mine is something that cannot be described in words. It's explicable to utter anything about the way i feel. It's different. Everything about today different.

"I loved my mom" his lips curled into a thin line.

My heart breaks every time he mentioned his mother. As far i remember he loved his mother so much. She was his idol. Losing a parent at a very young is devastating and he has gone through this all alone. After his mother died, Anant uncle, was broken. The relationship between him and his father broke after that. After his loss, I've never seen him being talkative to his afther.
He tries to avoid him as much as he can.

"What happened to her?" I whisper.

I choose my words correctly. The last thing i want right now is to hurts his feelings. I want to make him comfortable as much as i can.

"My mother was angel. She loved me as if i was her little miracle. From the day one she loved me and i loved her too. My relationship with mom was the best thing i had. She was not only my mother, but my friend. We used to hang out all the time. Sometimes she used to make me those pudding during night, since they were my favourite" a very sad smile appeared on his face, i wish i could erase it.

My grip around his wrist tighten. The way he talk about her mother breaks my heart. How could God do this to a little child. He went through hell without his mother. He needed me and i wasn't there, i feel guilty every second he mention how much he misses his mother.

Yes we got little closer after his mother for like one week and then that day happened. He called me so many times, desperately wants to meet me at his home. I went there but could never know the reason behind why he called me.

I wanted to know about that day but i was angry and shattered. That mask man had broken me. I wasn't in good state. I was mad at him for not being there and not helping me.

"You know when i was kid, mom used to play the game of truth and dare with me. Obviously she played to get the truth out of me everytime i didn't ate anything. It was her favourite game to play with me. Every time i lie she gave me dare to speak the truth and since i always wanted to win i tell her truth" he smile in way that makes my heart stop for a second. That the worst saddest smile I've ever seen, i wish i could never see it in future.