Dopamine Rush

38| TOXIC

It's been two weeks since my painful encounter with Carlo. That night, I threw my facade, peel of my mask, and cried my heart out to Avril. After so many years of hiding and silently crying, I was seen again- broken, weak. .  a total mess.

It's over. 

We're done. It's painful, sad, and disappointing because this is not what I want from him, this is not what I'm expecting. Six years of waiting and hoping was just put in a waste. He's my beginning and I wanted him to be in my ending but in the middle, I just found out that he's just a good chapter that meant to be flipped when it's over. Too good that I want him in every chapters left until we reach the epilogue. But things don't always go the way we wanted. What does my profession taught me is that. . It's over when it's over.

In my case, no antibiotic and NSAIDs could help me with the wound in my heart, No opioid drug can take away the pain. Anesthesia won't even made me dense with the pain I'm feeling. Not even epinephrine is effective, even ACLS can't revive our relationship.

"Nurse Iz, VIP room 5 is requesting for Dr. Simone. Demanded that it was an emergency." Gem called for me, rolling her eyes. "She's the most entitled patient I've ever encounter. Too annoying that I almost give up my licence. Imagine that, Iz!"

I chuckled at her frustrations. Well, yeah. Just a normal day in our life as a nurse.

"Please monitor patient 305, Ms. Martha Villanueva. She'll be having a scheduled transplant in five hours." After endorsing my patients properly, I checked and review the chart of VIP 5.

All of Dr. Simone's patient were handed to me for today since the doctor has a surgery to perform and it'll take long. This is my life. Hectic. Too hectic that I have no time to grief. How noble and selfless nurses could be. Trying to help and eases patient's pain and suffering while keeping our own pain aside. Rendering support, quality care and comfort yet we can't even comfort ourselves.

I didn't waste time and went to check on the patient. Patient is Mrs. Adelaida Fortuno, a cardiac patient. Upon entering, I saw her daughter on the couch who's dressed in her designer clothes while scrolling on her iphone which is the latest model, if I'm not mistaken. On the table was a designer bag and a basket of rare and expensive fruits. Their belongings screamed wealth and the aura in the room imposes a great stature.

"How are you feeling, Mrs. Fortuno? I'm Iz, how can I help you?" I greeted her politely with my bright smile.

The patient's eyes scanned me with her critical glare, then her lips pursed, disapprovingly.

"You can't, dear." She arched her brows, "Where's Dr. Simone? I specifically requested for my doctor and I told the other nurse that it's an emergency, so call him now."

"Dr. Simone's performing a surgery at the moment," I told her calmly, staying professional. "I'll be handling your care for the meantime."

Her eyes narrowing slightly. "I'm paying a little fortune for my treatment and I expect a doctor attending me, not a— nurse."

"Nurse Practitioner," I corrected politely, my tone's professional and steady. "I'm fully qualified to address your concern."

"A what?" Her daughter asked.

I was surprised. I forgot that she's with us. But I'm glad she asked.

"A nurse practitioner." I turn to her and back to met Mrs. Fortuno's gaze steadily, refusing to be rattled. "As a Nurse Practitioner, I'm trained to diagnose, treat, prescribe medication, and manage patient care."