Dopamine Rush

37| SALT TO THE OPEN WOUND.

It's been a week since the incident at the grand ball.

That night, Josh was very furious that we ended up fighting. He literally ignored me for three days straight after. I can still remember every words that he said, with anger and conviction.

"What the hell is happening, Iz?" He paces back and forth. His eyes narrowed, filled with anger and worry.

"I just.. It's.. I'm just overwhelmed and.." I tried to reason out but then give up when I saw how unimpressed and serious he was. I sighed and decided to tell him the truth, "It's Carlo."

"Of course it's Carlo!" He snapped angrily. "Fucking Carlo!"

"Yeah. Well, we accidentally met then the memories hit me harder than I thought." I nodded, remembering the encounter.  "I was about to ask him for a talk but then Selene and a kid came. He has to leave to tuck the little girl into bed. I was left with Lirah and she got a little emotional-"

"Let him go, Iz." He cut me off- cold, demanding, and angry. "I can't let him put your life in danger again, Iz. He's not that worth it."

"He is." I defended, softly.

"No. He shouldn't be worth your life! He's not good for you, Iz. He's clearly rejecting you and you're giving your heart reasons to reject you! Don't betray your heart." He insisted, "You can't let that happen, Iz. Miracle don't happen twice. Isipin mo naman kami. Mag-isip ka naman, Iz!"

"Josh!" I snapped and shake my head in disbelief, "You know how long I've waited for this chance. You're very much aware of my plans on winning him back. How could you say that? I thought we're in this together?"

"Well, you thought wrong. I let go of my pride, my ego and chase him for you! I even begged and pleaded so that he's at your bedside when you wake up. Iz, he let go of you when he should have held you tight." He said with distaste. His forehead were full of angry crease. He sighed in frustration and ran his fingers against his hair aggressively before settling his determined gaze at me, "I can't tolerate this anymore. I'm not watching you die again. I have enough, Iz! Maawa ka naman sa akin. Maybe it's time to think of the people who chooses to suffer with you rather than that one person who always causes us suffering!"

I sighed, remembering. His words hit me hard that I felt bad. I need to talk to Carlo as soon as possible. I have to try my luck, explain my side, and redefine our journey to healing and reconciliation or goodbye and closure. I want to know if he still want me or confirm if he's with Selene and whether that kid was his. I need either my second chance or my closure.

"Mommy Iz, let's go!!!" Avery attacked me with hug and kisses, breaking me from my thoughts. "Dad's already in the car."

Josh decided to spent time with Avery in the mall today. My parents decided to visit our hometown, while Avril was out to try her luck at her previous firm. Guess housewife role isn't for her.

Bored, I decided to join the father-daughter bonding.

"Hey, Josh. I'm going to buy something." Paalam ko sa lalaki habang tuwang-tuwa na pinapanood si Avery. "Keep me updated. Enjoy your bonding!"

"Baka mawala ka." Biro nito. I rolled my eyes while he chuckled. He gently squeezes my hand, nodding. "Be back for lunch. See you later."

I've spent an hour alone, just strolling around. I miss this, not that malling or shopping is my thing. But when you're a nurse, you don't have all the time in the world.. even for simple things like this. I was about to buy personal stuffs when I received a message from Josh, which made me rushing back to him.