My Co-Worker is an Elf Girl?! (#thewattys2024)

Chapter 36: I Was Promised a Phone Call!

CITY OF ÛR CENTRAL BOOKING VISITOR'S CENTER, EXTERIOR - LATE EVENING
PRISON GUARD #1 (Lt. Connor in disguise) stands outside of the entrance of the visitor's center. He takes a drag on his e-cig and exhales the smoke. He passes it to the person beside him, PRISON GUARD #2 (Cpt. Winters in disguise.) She takes a drag out of it next.

PRISON GUARD #1
Don't you know smoking is bad for pregnant women?

Prison Guard #2 chuckles.

PRISON GUARD #2
Hey, isn't smoking restricted on cruise ships? Like the one you're supposed to be on?

PRISON GUARD #1
On my made-up vacation cruise, smoking is permitted on all decks, okay?

PRISON GUARD #2
...then on my made-up maternal leave, I'm carrying the offspring of an intelligent, nicotine-based life form.

PRISON GUARD #1
Is that what you told our boss?

The door behind them opens. Remy is pressing her side. Blood is seeping through her prison uniform.

REMY
Mommy, I had an accident.

PRISON CLINIC - LATE EVENING

PRISON GUARD #2 rewraps the bandages around Remy's torso as the elf girl sits on a table.

PRISON GUARD #2
It would be best if you got stitches for these, but we'll get to that later. Stay here, I'll get you a new uniform.

Prison Guard #2 turns around and leaves the clinic.

Remy's hand glows with magic energy. Prison Guard #2's cell phone levitates from her pocket and into Remy's hands.

The elf girl stashes it under a pile of bloodied bandages.

CITY OF ÛR CENTRAL BOOKING VISITOR'S CENTER - LATE EVENING

Remy returns to the visitor's center. She tries to fiddle with the phone with Samara's guidance.

REMY
It says, 'Facial scan required.' I can't open it.

Samara thinks for a moment. Then, she pulls up a website on her phone. It's the Police Department's website, with Cpt. Winters' profile and headshot.

SAMARA
Let's see if this works.

The two hold their respective phones against the bulletproof glass barrier between them. The material's cloudiness and scratches on its surface make the scan difficult.

SAMARA
Hold up. Let me turn up my brightness.

CITY OF ÛR CENTRAL BOOKING VISITOR'S CENTER, EXTERIOR - LATE EVENING
The two disguised prison guards continue to share puffs from an e-cig. They stand under a dim light like they are an alcoholic detective and femme fatale pair in a noir film.

PRISON GUARD #1
I think I managed to locate a lead. There's this barbecue joint somewhere in town...

Remy bursts from the door behind them. She waves Prison Guard #2's phone like a stolen trophy.

REMY
The jig is up! We know the truth!

The two detectives turn their heads towards the elf girl. Prison Guard #2 responds with skepticism.

PRISON GUARD #2
Do you, now?

Remy points a self-righteous finger at the duo.

REMY
You two are corrupt cops working for the UPD! You secretly take private investigator jobs using your law enforcement influence and phony vacations as a cover!

The accusation doesn't phase the disguised detectives at all for some reason. Remy cracks a mischievous grin.

REMY
...We have all communications logs between you two uploaded to the cloud! If you do not comply with our demands, we will send them to your employer!

PRISON GUARD #1
You know the Police Chief is fully aware and complicit, right?

PRISON GUARD #2
The city doesn't pay us enough to NOT take these side jobs. Is this your pathetic attempt to blackmail us?

Remy melts into a puddle of awkwardness. Her mastermind blackmail scheme has fizzled up in front of her.

PRISON GUARD #1
We are currently under retainer by House Fairlight. You, a family member, are entitled to our services as well. Do you have a request?

REMY
C... can, can you get me Hokien's personal phone number...?

PRISON GUARD #2
Anything else?

REMY
N-no... that's it... for now...

PRISON GUARD #1
Please don't hesitate to reach out in case you do...

CITY OF ÛR CENTRAL BOOKING VISITOR'S CENTER - LATE EVENING
Remy returns to the visiting booth. Samara, previously resting her eyes, perks up.

SAMARA
Well, how did it go?

Remy freezes.

REMY
It went... it went super well! You... you should have seen the looks on their faces, when I told them what we knew!

Remy cackles maniacally as if her plan had worked.

SAMARA
Why do you still have her phone in your hand?

REMY
They said there were games on this phone I could play.

To be continued...