My Co-Worker is an Elf Girl?! (#thewattys2024)

Chapter 31: This Really Messes With My Suspension of Disbelief, You Know!

MANOR OF HOUSE FAIRLIGHT - TIME UNKNOWN
Remy seethes with anger at the sight of Lady Fairlight. This isn't quite her, though. She's different from the champion depicted in "Shotgun Reincarnation." This Lady Fairlight is shorter.

Lady Fairlight removes her helm. Her blue, braided cotton candy hair is released from its steel confines, delicately framing her doll-like face.

She's identical to Remy.

LADY FAIRLIGHT: "Really? 'Remingston Ragefire?' Of all the names you could've come up with, that is what you chose?"

Lady Fairlight's words have hit a nerve.

REMY: "I'm workshopping names, okay?!"

LADY FAIRLIGHT: "If you didn't want to be found, you should've picked a more conspicuous human name. Or assumed a better disguise from the get-go."

REMY: "Just... why are you here?! Don't you have more important things to do than to chase me around? I'm having a great time right now, and you're breaking my suspension of disbelief!"

LADY FAIRLIGHT: "I do, in fact, have more important things to do. Hence the purpose of this meeting."

Remy lets out a frustrated groan.

REMY: "How did you even get here?! I thought..."

LADY FAIRLIGHT: "Unlike you, we traveled here with the express permission and guidance of House Bowling."

Remy winces at the mention of the esteemed elven family.

LADY FAIRLIGHT: "Faye, The Duchess approaches."

More candles appear in the chamber, setting themselves aflame on their own.

Now, the entire room is lit.

An imposing ELVISH ARISTOCRAT walks towards the two. She is exactly twice the height of Remy.

The Duchess extends her hand towards Remy. The pink-haired elf kneels and kisses the ring on the Aristocrat's finger.

REMY: "Duchess Fairlight."

The Duchess grins from ear to ear. She giggles with delight at the sight of Remy and Lady Fairlight together.

DUCHESS FAIRLIGHT: "The sound of you two bickering used to fill me with dread. Today, it lifts my spirit! How it stirs memories of a time long past!"

Remy does a "side eye." She stands back up on her feet.

Duchess Fairlight clears her throat.

DUCHESS FAIRLIGHT: "...but we are reunited after all these years to discuss a serious matter. You must leave the human world and return to Farronwood immediately."

REMY: "Permission to speak, Duchess."

DUCHESS FAIRLIGHT: "Granted."

REMY: "Why? I am doing nobody any harm! You both told me I should be independent and here I am! I'm looking for work and permanent housing!

LADY FAIRLIGHT: "Permission to speak, Duchess?"

DUCHESS FAIRLIGHT: "You may."

Lady Fairlight points at Remy.

LADY FAIRLIGHT: "You've caused quite a stir for your little stunt back home! How could you be so reckless?!"

DUCHESS FAIRLIGHT: "Faye, please understand that the universe is not ready for the intermingling of the Elven and Human realms. There are many forces at play that we do not understand. For the sake of peace between the two worlds, we ask that you depart immediately."

REMY: "Permission to speak, Duchess."

DUCHESS FAIRLIGHT: "Granted."

REMY: "I've been here almost a week, and nothing has happened...!"

LADY FAIRLIGHT: "...yet."

Remy is peeved by the knight's interruption.

REMY: "I'm talking now, Farah!"

DUCHESS FAIRLIGHT: "Farah is right, Faye. House Bowling has kept records of previous world crossings, which all have ended in tragedy. Without exception. You're coming home with us."

Lady Fairlight brandishes her sheathed blade.

LADY FAIRLIGHT: "We can do this the easy way or the stabby way. The choice is yours."

Remy gulps nervously. She lays her hand on the ceremonial rapier at her side.

REMY: "So you knew it might have come down to this, huh?"

LADY FAIRLIGHT: "It's improper to deprive an opponent of a fair chance of victory."

REMY: "You're the anointed 'Stormcaller.' I play tabletop games. In what world is any of this fair?"

LADY FAIRLIGHT: "Fine."

Lady Fairlight tosses her blade to the side. She removes every single piece of her armor.

Lady Fairlight raises her fists like a boxer.

LADY FAIRLIGHT: "I didn't need any of these to beat you, anyway."

REMY: "You smug little..."

Remy draws her rapier. Duchess Fairlight grins with motherly pride.

The Duchess raises her arm.

DUCHESS: "Are you both ready?"

LADY FAIRLIGHT: "Always."

The twin sisters assume their positions.

To be continued...