The Second Chance of A Suicidal Idol

Auditions (2)

"56!" A producer called as they exited the doors to the auditorium.

Joon-woo, took a moment to realize that it was his number called. It had been at least an hour now and he had spent it stressing on how the fuck he was gonna get a single compliment with his dance.

He quickly shot up, speed walking to the door as the other trainees had looked around for who number 56 was after Joon-woo's moments of no reply. The stares weakened his legs and when a producer led him through the doors.

The first thing he saw when he entered was the three trainers. Misa Asaki, a famous choreographer, FYP, a singer known for his powerful and emotional voice, and the producer who had let Joon-woo in. He didn't know the man too well, he just knew he had helped on some bigger idol projects over the years.

He kept his head down as he walked upon the black stage. Immediately he felt alone, immediately he realized that there was no group by his side, and bile began to build within his throat.

"Hello, please tell us your name, age, and agency." FYP requested in a too-normal tone.

"My name is Park Joon-woo, I am 18, and I was from Sunrise entertainment." Joon-woo replied.

FYP raised an eyebrow, "Was?" He asked curious

"Ah yes— They recently went bankrupt..." He explained, his voice trailing off in embarrassment.

"Oh." FYP's face dropped.

Joon-woo gulped, FYP's face not helping his already building panic. Was he done already?

Misa cleared her throat, shooting a glare to FYP. "What are you gonna do for us today?" She asked in a friendly tone.

Joon-woo looked up, "Um— Singing. I'm gonna sing."

Misa smiled at his answer, "Show us what you got."

Joon-woo nervously played with his hair, as a familiar tune blasted from weak speakers. And with a deep breath, he began.

🎶Hye-ya, I'm not saying I'm sorry.
Someday, very far away
Why don't you do it at the end?
That way, even in this painful time right now
It's a good memory for later
Because we'll be laughing and talking, oh oh
Hey, you said
Just me with the heart of a good friend
Because I love you, it's forever
Don't say that again, it's too light for you
But it's too much for me
This heavy heart has made it difficult for you
I'll take a little step back and wait so you can be comfortable.
You're begging me to stand far away
Hey, why are you leaving?🎶

FYP suddenly raised his hand and the music came to his hand, "That's enough." He said.

Joon-woo nodded, surprised and a bit dazed. Had he sung poorly? Was the karaoke machine's score of 100 wrong? He bit his lip anxiously, waiting for further instruction.

This time the producer spoke up, "Can you also show us a dance? I noticed it was not included." The man looked innocently at Joon-woo, unknowing that Park Joon-woo could not dance for shit.

"Yes..." Joon-woo replied, all confidence he had in his voice stripped. He looked at the trainers and they looked back at him, waiting for him to do something.

He figured The Lord's Plan by WildBoyz was his best bet out of none. The only boy group choreography he had practiced as Park Joon-woo. So as he began to move, he prayed, he prayed to every god there is to make him seem at least a little talented.

He imagined the choreography in his head, and in the best Ha-rin impression he could manage, he began.

Evidently, he avoided the judges, especially Misa's gaze as he moved. He knew he would get docked points for that, but he felt the stiffness in his moves, and he knew they saw it, because how could they not?

FYP spoke up again, "Please stop." He said, "I think we've seen enough."

The voice sent chills down Joon-woo's spine. "Yes..." He replied, standing with his feet next to each other and his hands placed behind his back.

The trainers exchanged glances. Misa shooting glances through the minute of silence at Joon-woo. He avoided her gaze, feeling bad for how much he had disappointed in her.

"Contestant Joon-woo," FYP suddenly said, "Please look at us properly." He demanded.

Joon-woo stiffened, locking eyes with FYP, then Misa, then the producer. He felt heat rising to his face at the action.

"Your voice is very good. You convey emotions and know and use your large range well. Your looks are that of an idol. But— What I think you know very well is that your dancing needs some work." Misa explained. "Is that something you're willing to work for?" She asked.

Joon-woo frantically nodded, "Yes, sun-bae." He replied, trying to keep his eyes connected to Misa's as long as he could.

Then FYP, picked up the mic, "Have you ever learned to dance before?" He asked, blunt enough to make Joon-woo's heart stop.

Joon-woo nodded, almost avoiding eye contact out of habit. But as if FYP had a grip on his gaze he stayed looking.

"And that's all the dance you have to show us? Contestant Park Joon-woo, your voice is quite exceptional and your looks are enough to pass as an idol, but dance is just as important." FYP explained, "And if I'm being honest, I don't even know why you've come here without trying to improve them."

Joon-woo cursed Kite who watched from the trainer's little judging table. Kite just innocently shrugged. "Yes, senior..." Joon-woo replied.

As Ha-rin he thought harsh words wouldn't be an issue, as Ha-rin had been cursed at plenty of times during rehearsals, the recording rooms, the practice rooms, and even at her own dorm if she didn't show anything but perfection. She had come to regard them as both kind and harsh and they hadn't gotten to her since. But now as Joon-woo it was clear that this kid's immature mind was still sensitive to such.

The producer shrugged after FYP's words, "I think you have a lot of locked potential, Joon-woo. In your dancing you seem to know what to do, but your body cannot keep up." The producer explained, "Also you seem to lack confidence, and on this show, confidence is what prevails."

Joon-woo winced as they took turns, he didn't realize his anxiousness affected him so much and dug his nails into his skin as he took in their words,

Noticing the anxious look, Misa spoke up again, "But I think all three of us can agree, you belong in this show. Dance and confidence are all things you learn along the way. Please keep trying hard, Contestant Joon-woo, we will see you next week." She explained with a smile.

Joon-woo's breath faltered for a moment, "Thank you very much, seniors." He bowed, speed walking off the stage with his hands over his mouth.

Kite quickly caught up to Joon-woo's speedy figure, flying by his side. Kite examined Joon-woo's blank face, all previous embarrassment was gone and now he just looked numb.

Kite frowned, "Joon-woo?"

Joon-woo waved the bird off with his hand, not verbally replying and instead, his quivering hand telling Kite all it needed to know.

"Joon-woo? Are you okay?" Kite asked, as Joon-woo pushed through the auditorium doors. Kite frowned as he watched Joon-woo yet again ignore him, and scurry back towards the bathroom. Attempting to follow, Joon-woo swatted Kite away. "Joon-woo, why are you going to the bathroom?"

"Don't follow me, you stalking bird." Joon-woo demanded, as he knew what was rising in his throat, he knew what his spinning mind had cast upon him, he knew what it meant because he had lived it. Joon-woo as Ha-rin had lived through it everyday on her road to fame. Everytime too-many people looked at her for too long, everytime her voice faltered in exhaustion or vision blacking with overwork. Joon-woo was having a panic attack.