The Second Chance of A Suicidal Idol

A Final Stretch (10)

Joon-woo, truthfully, wanted to start crying when it was just he and Mi Yong left to fight over the last debut spot. He wanted to cry and if he did, they would be real tears for the first time in... months. Maybe he was expecting too much. Maybe he shouldn't have gotten close to anyone if these were gonna be the results. He was foolish. He was stupid.

He shut out all outside sounds when he heard Mi Yong's name get called up to take the first place spot and the last spot in the debut group. He barely saw Mi Yong's shocked expression when he looked behind him to the rest of the now debut group of his friends. They had all made weird expressions when they made it on the stage. Joon-woo didn't dwell on it.

He rubbed his eyes, annoyed and emotional. He wouldn't debut. He wondered how many minutes he would need to busk to get enough money to buy more sleeping pills. He wondered. He wondered and felt a tear fall.

Fuck, he thought. He was crying. He didn't like how real crying felt, it was harder to control.

There was an odd silence and Joon-woo hated bearing his broken to the world. He hated looking so vulnerable. He had revealed a smidge about his parent-less past, gotten hit, he pulled every trick he could and still, it was as if the industry had a vendetta against him. He couldn't escape it, no matter who's body he was in.

"The debut line-up for Producer10 season two has been decided. Mi Yong, is there anything you would like to say before we reveal your prize for placing first?" Misa asked.

Joon-woo noticed that he was barely shedding a tear compared to some of the other contestants. He watched Mi Yong take the microphone with an odd, but not sad expression. Perhaps he didn't care that Joon-woo wouldn't debut with him. In fact, the others, even Reggie, didn't seem sad.

"I hope all of you can debut and find your own success. Thank you for being there for all of us. We will never forget you and carry us through our time as a group." Mi Yong spoke scriptless, and a warm aura slightly calmed the other devastated contestants.

Misa nodded with a saddened smile.

"Truly, all of you have tried your hardest and done your best. I wish you all luck in your idol journey, for you all have potential to do well elsewhere." FYP spoke, uncharacteristically kind.

"Well, Contestant Mi Yong, in first place– you have two options..." She spoke quietly, ominously.

The backdrop changed to two split screens, blank.

Joon-woo's eyes were too teary to clearly make out the options.

"A chance to perform at Yonsei University's h:OURS music festival..." Misa teased with a tone that hyped the option like a million dollars.

It kinda was. If they could perform at a university festival as rookies, they would get exposure like no other. It was quite the iconic beginning for the group. Joon-woo saw the hunger in his friend's eyes and silently wondered how many pills it would take this body to die.

Mi Yong's eyes grew wide at the sight of the option and Joon-woo couldn't help but feel a little jealous.

"...or," Misa paused and the cameras turned to the contestants. Joon-woo was too busy wallowing to notice. "You can choose another contestant to debut with you..."

Kite flew over and hit Joon-woo repeatedly with it's wing. Joon-woo looked at the bird, confused, before processing the words of Misa.

Mi Yong took the mic into his hand and wore a confident smile.

Joon-woo for a moment, after contemplating suicide like his only option, felt hopeful. He locked eyes with Mi Yong. Joon-woo wanted to shrink in his first place seat. He watched Mi Yong lightly chuckle and bring the mic to his mouth.