Blue Moon (gxg)

"You are extraordinary." (31)

*warning: eating disorder*

"Are you hungry?" Bella asked me looking right into my eyes.
I lowered my gaze: "I'm still full from breakfast..."
She sighed slowly, "Ellie, you didn't eat that much breakfast..." A strange discomfort ran through her voice.

I smiled, but in a nervous way: "Yes, I
did..."

Bella tilted slightly her head, as if I was telling a big lie.
Her eyes seemed to look inside me.
How does she does that?

"I'm just trying to help you..." She whispered.

I crossed my arms, sighing deeply.
Defensiveness ran through my body.
"Sorry... I'm not used to... talk about that..." I whispered like a fragile truth.

Bella sighed softly, as she were really trying to understand my deepest insecurities.
"I'm right here if you want to talk about it. Take your time."

I still have this big lump around my throat and it wouldn't go down and I fear she understood that.

I remained silent for quite some time.
Bella didn't ask me any questions, she didn't force me to talk about it, yet her eyes spoke louder than words.
It's like she sees right through me.

And in that moment I felt ready.
I want her to know.
I trust her... I have this feeling since our eyes first met.

I swallowed hard, trying to regain my breath.
"I know that sometimes I don't eat like a normal person." I begin to talk.

Bella froze.
She stopped doing wherever she was doing and gave her undivided attention to me.

"Sometimes I have to... control it."
My heart is pounding as I said those words.
Pain gets hard.

"I am not going to judge you, Ellie." She affirmed.

A smile returned to my face.
"I know you won't, that's why I'm talking to you right now..."

Her hand reached mine: "I just want to help you."
I shivered at that contact.
I smiled softly, "You are already doing that, Bella. I wasn't used to talk about it before you."

She squeezed my hand, still not taking her eyes off me.
"I understand that you find facing this very difficult, it takes a lot of courage to admit that something is not right, Ellie.
It is already very important."

I was about to cry but not with sad tears.
Someone is finally understanding me.

Bella smiled sweetly.
"Sweetie, you will get through this. Everything is going to be alright. I will be happy to support you."

I burst into an emotional smile as she pressed our hands together.
"You make me feel this weight less heavier." I whispered.

Her smile widened as her eyes got teary too.
"You don't know how much that makes me happy, sweetie."

She sighed slowly, her hands trembling.
"It breaks my heart to watch you go through this but I believe that with the right support... you can feel so much better."
Her voice was soft and soothing, almost a prayer as she spoke, full of warmth and sincerity.

I looked into her candid eyes as I took a deep, reassuring breath, feeling that the worst had passed thanks to her and her unwavering support.
I paused.
"...I'm willing to have a support through that." I finally admitted.

I have finally found the courage to say this.
After all this time.

"That's a fair decision, Ellie. You will not regret that, I promise you." She affirmed.