Blue Moon (gxg)

"It's always us." (50)

"Ellie."
Bella stopped me when I was about to leave.
Her gentle voice, and the intensity urgency in the way she called me, make me stop, silencing my mind.

I turned slowly.
Now she took a step toward me, making my heart race.

"If you walk away and I don't see you, it will kill me."
Her voice was soft yet heartbreaking.

"That's... that's exactly what I'm fighting for, Bella... and I don't want to do it alone..."
My voice cracked.

Her eyes searched mine, a mix of pain and frustration.
"Alone? Ellie, you don't know how much it hurts to see you with him, knowing this could be all I ever have."

Her voice burned between jealousy and frustration.

But the worst part was seeing her struggling with the fear of being left behind... and it hit me hard, starting a strong determination within me.
I couldn't let that happen.

"Bella," I whispered, holding her gaze. "I understand your pain. It hurts more than words can say, but I'm not letting it take you away."

She took another step closer to me, leaving just a small space between us, which still felt too far apart.
Her big brown eyes met mine intensely, but then... she suddenly turned away.

"Fuck..." Her voice burned in the air.

"Bella, look at me..." I pleaded.
She doesn't.

"Please, you have to let your guard down..."

"I can't."

"Why?" I asked, desperate.

"Because if I do, this grief will tear me apart. I have no choice."
Her voice was above a whisper now, her eyes getting more and more emotional.

Her words hit me straight into my heart.
I was out of breath.
What makes this powerful feeling between us capable of bringing both happiness and pain?

"You said that there's always a choice..." I remembered her own words.

"I don't feel like there is one anymore, Ellie."
I can't stand her destructive yet gentle tone towards me.

At that moment, the noise of the party started to fade away, like there was a sudden break.
In that very moment... I heard screams in the distance that sounded WAY TOO FAMILIAR.

"We can choose to change things." I affirmed, ignoring it, and giving her my attention.

Bella paused, her eyes flickered.
"Can we, though?! Because every time I try, it just ends in a breakdown."
Her voice was more than just frustrated.

I took a step closer.
"We can fight together, Bella." I said, low and calming, trying to comfort her, but she wasn't having it.

"Remember when I told you exactly the same thing and you didn't allow me to?"
The remaining of her stubbornness...

"If I had known earlier what I know now, I wouldn't have made the same mistake... I never wanted to say goodbye to you, Bella..." I replied softly.

"What does that mean...?"
Her voice trembling, allowing herself to be vulnerable.

"That means: us." I affirmed, my words steady but I smiled, feeling emotional.

"Ellie, what's left of us? Tell me..."
Her voice raised and then she broke into sobs again.
"We couldn't be more broken..."

I took a final step closer, just enough to reach her.
"It's still us, Bella. Broken and bruised, but it's always us."

A flicker of warmth crossed her face and her eyes became soft and transparent.
She bit her lip, trying to hold back tears as a ragged sigh escaped her.