Blue Moon (gxg)

"You sunk beneath my bones." (33)

Bella and I reached a small corner, quiet and secluded under the waterfall.
Being this close to her body still makes me feel pleasantly embarrassed, like my whole body is shaking... but I never want to stay away from her.
It's like a need.

I hugged her, clutching to her neck as I was caressed her wet skin.
Something came back to my mind like a thunder.
"Don't you think this is incredible?" I smiled.
"What?"
"Us ... I mean ... these days together." I replied, my voice trembled for some reason.

Bella gently ran a hand over my face to move my hair out of my eyes.
"Are you saying that as a bad thing?"

I smiled immediately: "No... God, no."
"Do you still feel the same?" She spoke in a soft, even voice.
"I've never been more myself than that." My firm voice echoed throughout that isolated place.

She smiled serenely: "That is what is important."
A thousand thoughts were echoing involuntarily in my mind and I let one escaping my lips.
"This never happened to me." I whispered.
"Not with a woman, nor with anyone else..."
My heart was racing for my confession.

Bella sighed slowly: "Me neither. I've had my experiences... but never during him."
"Are you afraid?" She whispered a moment later.
Her voice was wavering with uncertainty.

It's like my certainties collapsed immediately when Bella asked me that question.
I couldn't lie, though.
I couldn't lie to her.

I clung to her neck, I could feel her heart beating fast like mine was racing.
I nodded silently at her shoulder, but said nothing.

I was too weak again.

"Ellie..." Bella let out a a ragged sigh.
I moved off her shoulder and looked into her eyes.
Her eyes trembled, her breathing grew more rapid.
"You sunk beneath my bones, and I don't know how to do with it." She affirmed.

My heart stopped.

"I've never pretended and I can't pretend."
Her sincere gaze penetrated me.
"I know...I can't do that either." I whispered tremblingly.

Bella bought her face to my neck, I felt her sigh crossing my skin.
"I would like to address your concerns..." She whispered in my ear.

A gasp escaped my control.
"Bella, you are already helping me..."
My lips parted in a touched smile: "You understand me, you empathize with me. You actually listen to me."

Bella smiled slightly, but her eyes are still too sad and uncertain for me to not noticing it.

"You taught me not to be afraid. I didn't even want to jump into the water, but I did, because of you..."
I hoped with all my heart that she could believe me.

She did not speak yet, she was listening carefully to me.
Her eyes were nervous and troubled, betraying her inner conflict.
I wonder what's going through her tormented mind.

"Do you understand that? I hope you do..." My distressed voice reflected my own fears.
Bella nodded at me, she believed me I could feel it.
I let out a sigh of relief.

"I want to do more." She affirmed seriously.
Her gaze was more determined now.
I smiled sweetly at her: " I would like you to understand that you have already done so much, Bella..."

She shook her head with an undaunted yet apprehensive expression: "I don't know if that much is enough..."

My breath cut off as if I had gone into apnea.
I felt my heart leaving my chest.

Why would she think this is not enough?
I mean... maybe she really sees right through me... all my fears and all of my doubts... the way I still didn't let myself go completely, even if I do want that...

Bella's gaze became more and more distressed and almost became wistful.
I froze.
Words did not come out of my mouth and because of that I felt awful.

I would rather have sunk in that moment.
What is wrong with me?

My insecure and restless soul still persisted inside me, it would not let go of me completely.
I was suffering from that.
I was suffering because I knew she was suffering too.

I heard distant voices coming from outside exclaiming something, but I heard them as muffled because my heart was beating too fast at that moment.
"I heard someone say it's raining." Bella said without taking her eyes off me.
"What?"
It took me a few moments to process.

"It's raining." She affirmed.
My mind was foggy.
"Maybe we should go..." I whispered.
"Maybe we should..."

I took a step back, awkwardly removing my hands from her neck, not quite sure how to act.
Bella followed me with her gaze as she immediately touched my back underwater.
Thank goodness she did.
I never wanted that contact to break.

It was raining slowly, a very light but persistent rain.
The sky was still gray, but on the horizon I could see some sun rays.

Bella and I slowly got out of the water, we didn't care if it was raining at least we were close each other.
We take shelter under the branches of a large tree.
I squeezed her arm, she smiled slightly.

I still didn't know how to explain to her what I was feeling at that moment.
It's like words couldn't express it.

"Did I say something that bothered you?" Bella interrupted that tormented silence.
"You did not. You said what you felt and that's very brave and remarkable of you." I affirmed.

She smiled slightly.
I intertwined my hand with hers as I turned to look into her eyes:
"...Sometimes I struggle with words... I can't really explain what's going on through my mind, but I am... slowly learning to do that... with you."

I squeezed her hand firmly:
"I want to."

I think Bella is starting to understand what was going on through my mind and how I really felt about that.
"You can count on me on that, so please, don't shut yourself off, Ellie. I'm here with you to face it all."
Her eyes are so candid and limpid.

"I know you are. I trust you, Bella and I never... trust people."

We stayed with our hands tighted and our bodies close together.
It slowly stopped raining and the sky was so much cleared now.

"I know this may be frustrating... but
will you be patient with me? I know you already are..." I asked her smiling wistfully.
"This doesn't bother me, Ellie... this is okay for me. I'm not going anywhere." She squeezed my hand like she really meant these words.

I looked up smiling.
"No way..." I whispered in disbelief.
"Huh?" Bella looked up in the same direction my eyes were staring at.
She smiled immediately.

A beautiful rainbow, could be seen on the waterfall from side to side.
After a few minutes, almost all seven colors could be seen, and the rainbow became stronger and brighter.
It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life.
I turned my face to look at Bella, I was still too stunned to speak.

"You said Rainbow falls, huh?" She smiled smugly.
I nodded.
"I will take that as a sign..." She whispered smiling mischievously.

A/N
I hope you liked this chapter... ❤️🥹