Choosing My Life - Bear And Rachel

Comfort

Rachel

I woke up with my head on Bears chest again. He was asleep as well, with his arms around me. I could hear his deep breaths. Tears sprang to my eyes. Soon I wouldn't be able to do this. I would have to return to the real world where men and women were separated until married. And even then, this behaviour was scandalous. I gripped his shirt tighter.
"Hey," I heard and felt him rumble awake, gripping me tighter.
I pushed my face in his neck further.
"Are you in pain?" He asked
I shook my head. I only had a mild ache now.
"Talk to me. What's going on in your head." He pushed.
"This will end. All this comfort, you being here with me. I'll go back to my life, such as it is, and you'll go back to yours. And I don't want it to end."

His arms gripped me tighter.
"I don't want it to end either, Sweet Pea. I don't know the rules or where to go from here once you're recovered. But I'll find out if you want me to. I'd like to spend the rest of my life with you."
I lifted my head and gazed into his eyes.
"You do? But I'm ugly."
He shook his head at my words.
"No, Rachel. You are beautiful. Your hair glows like a sunset. Your eyes are like a summer storm. You are so beautiful, you have no idea." He soothed me.
I pushed away from him and sat upright. He was toying with me. I knew it. Just because I allowed him liberties. I knew I was ugly. I'd been told so throughout my life.
"It's not nice to lie, Mr. Corby." I told him sternly, leaning away from him to hide the hurt.
His arms were like steel,
"I'm not lying Rachel. Who ever told you that you are less than perfect is the liar." He growled.
I looked at him.
His eyes were intense, firmly focused on me. His face grim and angry. It sent a shiver through me. But I still felt safe.
"How are you feeling?" He asked in a voice that was lower than normal.
I searched for a safe answer. I was aware that we'd somehow developed a relationship that was inappropriate. It was lovely being in his arms. I should just enjoy it while I could, but it would be wrong.
"Thankyou for your care, Mr Corby."

Bear

She was back, this was the Rachel that had been created from the abuse and trauma she'd undergone. I didn't like her. She was fake, she was hurting, and she was guarded. I wanted that girl that soaked up my affection.

I had a feeling that I wouldn't be calling her sweet pea again, or kissing her forehead. Those days had passed like a fantatistic dream. I sighed and restrained myself.

"Would you like to learn how to read while you're healing?" I asked. Her eyes lit up.
"Really? Yes, please."
I lifted her gently and shifted off the bed, then placed her where I'd been sitting.
"Friends of mine have children at school. Those kids have collected up some of their favourite books to help you learn to read." I told her, keeping my tone light. "Another friend also brought some sleeping clothes for to to wear. This is what a lot of females wear around here."
I handed her the bag.

Dammit I hated having to be so careful with my words. To not slip in an endearment or let her know how much she'd come to mean to me. This is a free book available through Wattpad (c) LTM1986. If you are not reading this on Wattpad, it had been stolen.

Rachel

Something had broken. Something precious. A tear in our connection that had formed since we met. And I had been the one to break it.

"I know I'm ugly, Bear. I've known it my whole life." I whispered, trying to fix what I'd broken. I watched him choose his eyes.
"You don't believe me, do you?" He sighed. "That doesn't matter." He huffed into his hands as he rubbed his face. "Do you trust me?" He asked.
I nodded.
"That's a start." He nodded.
"Would you like me to call a nurse to help you get changed, or have a shower? It'll help you feel better. Or do you want to start reading?" He offered.
"What's a shower?" I was confused. His eyes softened.
"Its a way of getting clean. Water is automatically pumped up and sprinkled over you, so you can wash yourself. You can adjust the temperature so it can be warm or cold." He explained.
I had no idea what he was talking about. I understood the words, but the concept he was trying to portray was out of my grasp. He smiled.
"It'll make sense when you use it. But I'm also not sure if you have the strength to stand for a shower anyway. Shall we try reading?"
I was feeling tired, too tired to try anything. Everything was confusing me.

I saw flowers on the table next to the books.
"What are those?" I asked. I swear he blushed as he picked them up.
"I got these for you. Sweet peas and an orange Gerbera. They reminded me of you." He held them out. The little pea flowers were coloured delicate shades of pink and purple. They smelt heavenly. And the big daisy like flower was bright.
"Thankyou, they make me happy." I replied.
"Setting you happy makes me happy," he responded. The look on his eyes made me forget how to breathe.
"Bear," I breathed his name.
He drew a deep breath.
"How about I read you a story and point out the words. Am I allowed to sit next to you still?"
I nodded carefully, I want really sure if he was or not. But there was no one watching us. He selected a book from the pile. I wiggled over in the bed to make space for him. He sat next to me, and opened the book.
"Once upon a time" He read out, pointing at the humble of letters that made up the words. I let myself lean against him for comfit. A little bit wouldn't hurt, while no one is watching.